December 18, 2019 Marks an historical (hysterical?) and momentus occasion as ridiculous as it sounds, largely because it is untrue.
The Democrat members of the House of Representatives of the United States of America unanymously voted to impeach Bitcoin, citing unruly and unfounded gestures of defiance against the minting of the U.S. Dollar.
When questioned about the allegations brought to the floor, Bitcoin stated on record:
It is unlikely that the Senate will follow through with a vote for impeachment in January, as most of them still have absolutely no idea what cryptocurrency is.
In the meantime, Bitcoin trades at $7162 at 10:06 pm EST 12/18/19.
Gordon Freeman Out.
Quantum Computer Learns to Trade, Causes Bitcoin Price to Crash
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/satire-quantum-computer-causes-price-bitcoin-plummet-7088-su-xxlnjl
G. Lucas Offers 1000 Bitcoin to End Run of Bad Star Wars Spin-Offs
Tron Founder Sentenced to Life In Video Game Called TRON
Flat Earth Movement Certain of Ethereum Mining Hoax
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/flat-earthers-claim-have-proof-all-ethereum-mined-antarctica-xgqogz
U.S. Presidential Candidates Recommend Crypto For Votes
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/crypto-politico-us-presidential-candidates-preach-pro-crypto-xgqowz
BAT Token Faces Heat From Those Who Don't Have the Attention Span
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/founders-bat-token-face-legal-heat-after-addadhd-activists-s-xlwvdd
R. Heart Sued For Actual witchcraft Used On Hex Coin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/hex-creator-r-heart-sued-using-actual-witchcraft-reach-top-p-xprepk
Mandella Effect Proven - Doge Caused the Great Depression
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/doge-coin-caused-1929-stock-market-crash-now-proven-mandella-xxlppk
Satoshi Claims to Be the Real Dr. Craig Wright
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/satoshi-comes-out-hiding-proclaim-i-am-real-dr-craig-wright-xnyglk
Coinfloor's Dumb Decisions on ETH
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/ancient-uk-tech-company-coinfloor-exchange-chooses-force-coi-xnygxx
U.S. House Goes Impeachment Crazy - Tries to Impeach Bitcoin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/us-house-votes-impeach-bitcoin-satire-xjqwrk
Doge Meme Secret- True Identity of Satoshi
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/doge-meme-points-secret-identity-real-satoshi-satire-xkrwvo
Doge Dog Owner Want $150 Million Licensing Fee For Use of Image
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/shiba-inu-owner-original-doge-dog-seeks-150-million-licensin-xymzoo
Santa's Tired 2019 - Just Giving Bitcoin to Everyone
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/santa-press-release-informs-im-just-givin-everyone-bitcoin-y-xvjkqv
PayPal Enters Crypto Ring Only to Compete With Themselves
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/paypal-creates-its-own-cryptocurrency-accidentally-only-comp-xorvnn
Ancient Egypt Is the First Real Pyramid Scheme... and Blockchain
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/ancient-egyptians-created-first-pyramid-scheme-based-crypto-xjqkkj
Google Takes Advantage of Competitor's Poor Naming - Chooses to Launch Facebook Coin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/google-takes-advantage-rivals-lost-opportunity-names-their-c-xvdryw
Binance Creates Stable Coin Backed By Tether
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/binance-creates-stable-coin-backed-tether-satire-xqwojj
Rekt Coin Blames the World For Poor Performance on Marketplace
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/rekt-coin-creators-blame-internet-poor-market-performance-sa-xvdrkk
Y2K Was Real- It Just Took a While
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/y2k-bug-was-real-just-20-years-late-satire-xweyxl
Cortana Jealous of Blockchain Technology
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/cortana-becomes-first-ai-get-jealous-blockchain-technology-s-xdmxrx
