Not true. None of this is real.
Yes, it's going to be the greatest show on earth again in the very near future... and a lot of other times in the future as well.
The U.S. Presidential Election is coming around again, and the politicians are all lined up to make even bigger spectacles of themselves than ever before. 2019 has been a year of threatening crypto regulations, crackdowns on imaginary terrorism for which we see very little proof, and the dark net is probably where a lot of Epstein-like political deals went down... or not. But, one thing's for sure, some of the political elite have one consensus in common; they don't want the rest of us to get our hands on something that can give us anonymity, freedom, and independent wealth. Not without knowing every single thing about us.
What happens when two diverging elements clash in the middle? Greed, power, regulation, putting the squeeze on the small guys... but, we really need all of them millennials to come vote for us. Hey, we're REALLY into crypto, yo!
In a press release published by the Democratic Party, it was unanimous; we need the cool factor vote.
Best way to go; go crypto!
So, the Dems, knowing how to key in on their target audience, made it loud and clear; we want a free and open election, get out the vote, and we will reward you with Bitcoin! Or, Doge if you're into that sorta thing.
When cornered about bribery in the midst of an impeachment trial for the winner of The Apprentice (or was it the host? who can really tell...), the Dems simply stated that
"if it is on the blockchain, it doesn't count, right?"
Quick to get in on the action, Justin Sun, Founder of TRON currently serving a life sentence inside a virtual reality video game (see source here), connected with the Democratic Party via secret notes hidden in the commissary, and offered to place each candidate's virtual voting-tokens on the TRON blockchain, now listed on Binance. Bernie coin is currently tracking for the win, but rumor has it is just a pump, because someone has to pay for all of that free pot and college tuition.
Who's the real winner? Crypto, THAT's who!
And also, none of this is real. But, couldn't it be? In fact, maybe this should be classified as irony instead of satire.
No matter how you serve it up, isn't it all entertainment?
Gordon Freeman Out.
...and Epstein did not kill his Ethereum token.
Quantum Computer Learns to Trade, Causes Bitcoin Price to Crash
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/satire-quantum-computer-causes-price-bitcoin-plummet-7088-su-xxlnjl
G. Lucas Offers 1000 Bitcoin to End Run of Bad Star Wars Spin-Offs
Tron Founder Sentenced to Life In Video Game Called TRON
Flat Earth Movement Certain of Ethereum Mining Hoax
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/flat-earthers-claim-have-proof-all-ethereum-mined-antarctica-xgqogz
U.S. Presidential Candidates Recommend Crypto For Votes
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/crypto-politico-us-presidential-candidates-preach-pro-crypto-xgqowz
BAT Token Faces Heat From Those Who Don't Have the Attention Span
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/founders-bat-token-face-legal-heat-after-addadhd-activists-s-xlwvdd
R. Heart Sued For Actual witchcraft Used On Hex Coin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/hex-creator-r-heart-sued-using-actual-witchcraft-reach-top-p-xprepk
Mandella Effect Proven - Doge Caused the Great Depression
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/doge-coin-caused-1929-stock-market-crash-now-proven-mandella-xxlppk
Satoshi Claims to Be the Real Dr. Craig Wright
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/satoshi-comes-out-hiding-proclaim-i-am-real-dr-craig-wright-xnyglk
Coinfloor's Dumb Decisions on ETH
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/ancient-uk-tech-company-coinfloor-exchange-chooses-force-coi-xnygxx
U.S. House Goes Impeachment Crazy - Tries to Impeach Bitcoin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/us-house-votes-impeach-bitcoin-satire-xjqwrk
Doge Meme Secret- True Identity of Satoshi
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/doge-meme-points-secret-identity-real-satoshi-satire-xkrwvo
Doge Dog Owner Want $150 Million Licensing Fee For Use of Image
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/shiba-inu-owner-original-doge-dog-seeks-150-million-licensin-xymzoo
Santa's Tired 2019 - Just Giving Bitcoin to Everyone
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/santa-press-release-informs-im-just-givin-everyone-bitcoin-y-xvjkqv
PayPal Enters Crypto Ring Only to Compete With Themselves
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/paypal-creates-its-own-cryptocurrency-accidentally-only-comp-xorvnn
Ancient Egypt Is the First Real Pyramid Scheme... and Blockchain
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/ancient-egyptians-created-first-pyramid-scheme-based-crypto-xjqkkj
Google Takes Advantage of Competitor's Poor Naming - Chooses to Launch Facebook Coin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/google-takes-advantage-rivals-lost-opportunity-names-their-c-xvdryw
Binance Creates Stable Coin Backed By Tether
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/binance-creates-stable-coin-backed-tether-satire-xqwojj
Rekt Coin Blames the World For Poor Performance on Marketplace
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/rekt-coin-creators-blame-internet-poor-market-performance-sa-xvdrkk
Y2K Was Real- It Just Took a While
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/y2k-bug-was-real-just-20-years-late-satire-xweyxl
Cortana Jealous of Blockchain Technology
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/cortana-becomes-first-ai-get-jealous-blockchain-technology-s-xdmxrx