PayPal Creates It's Own Cryptocurrency But Accidentally Only Competes with Itself :Satire:

By BitcoinGordon | Crypto Satire -Fake News Ripped from the Headlines | 26 Dec 2019

Everything that is not true has a 50% lower likelihood of being true. This is one of those two things.

PayPal is a digital payment system. It is big. It handles a lot of not-real money.

But, there's a new kid in town (well, new if you call a decade new). It's called Bitcoin.

It is a digital currency that isn't money, and a store of value that isn't gold, and a trustless peer to peer that requires trust in the process.

Bitcoin is a lot of things to a lot of people, but one thing it is not; PayPal.

Where Bitcoin brags a lot of things better than online banking transactional services, it can't quite measure up to PayPal's years of super safe, super low security issues, steady transaction speed and fees. But, PayPal can't hack the coolness factor especially when crypto kicks in full swing.

With the onset of companies, investors, banks and projects getting into blockchain and crypto projects, PayPal decided it was time. But, the question whether they were truly ready for crypto is yet to be seen.

So, here it is; PayPal Coin. a Trustless blockchain distributed through a network of PayPal computers, also known as servers, using a decentralized central program service installed on the network. PP Coin, intended to compete with the likes of Bitcoin, has unwittingly had an adverse effect; it is only competing for its own services, with the same name, site, process, and fees.

When asked for a statement, CEO of PayPal Coin simply stated:

Yeah, we kinda had that one coming. It's literally the same thing. The only real new feature we rolled out was that now everyone else can see all of your private transactions but they can't see your name. Oh, and no technical support, so that part's a good thing, right?

We do have the fastest, most reliable system in place; we're using Ripple to handle all of the transactions for us!

So, make your payments using PayPal, or PayPal Coin, you decide whether it is better to get support or not, if something goes awry, but enjoy the trust that the ledger is out there for everyone, forever.

Silly things happen, and in this case they didn't; none of this is real.

Here's to 2020!

Gordon Freeman Out.

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