Flat Earthers Claim to Have Proof That All Ethereum is Mined In Antarctica :Satire:

By BitcoinGordon | Crypto Satire -Fake News Ripped from the Headlines | 17 Dec 2019

None of this is true... except for the part I just said about this not being true.

There is a movement that requires less intelligence than trying to discover who the real Satoshi is; it's called the flat earth movement.

If most people try, squint, drink too much and spin around until they are completely disoriented, they will not be able to come up with a worse model for science or logic than trying to explain how flat the earth is. It's a free world (which is also round), and I fully support their desire to prove the impossible, but thank goodness for now, freedom extends to me as well, and thus here I am telling the truth in the form of a misdirection we know as satire. Ain't true, but that is.

Flat earthers have a remarkable resilience; that's the good news. Unfortunately, it is mis-spent on... proving that the earth is flat.

NASA scammed us. The Bible mentions the four corners of the earth (there's this thing, it's called language, it often means something that is not quite as literal as the saying it encapsulates). Biblical accounts of globe-shapes is plentiful, and most Christians are pretty okay with being on a big ball floating through the atmosphere at 10,000 miles/hour.

Now the fun part. Apparently the flat earth scientists have discovered that all of this is really about mining Ethereum. The whole "oooooo there's a planet oooooooo it's a sphere" thing is about hiding all of the Ethereum mines. It's true, and that's how you know it's science. Because, it just is (and that's how you do satire).

See, flat earthers, at least many of them, have a theory that all of the governments and all of the astronauts, all of the commercial pilots are all in on 'it'. They all know that Antarctica is unclaimed territory not subject to any laws, and there is a secret covenant between all of the most powerful of the world, to conceal the true location of Antarctica. The world is a big flat disc with mountains and water on it, and Antarctica lines the outer edge of the big earthy plate we call Earth. The temperature is super cold out there on the rim, and that's where all the Ethereum is being mined. And, you know, if you think about it, Vitalik really does look cold all the time, y'know? It all makes logical sense... again if you spin, drink, squint and weren't very bright to begin with.

So, now that you understand how things work, you will never see Ethereum the same way again, right? Well, then, you're welcome.

If you are offended by this satire because you are a flat earther, I simply ask that you find a cure, like buying 1 ETH and calling me in the morning.

For now, Gordon Freeman Out.

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