It's funny if it's true. It's funnier if it isn't. I'm going with #2.
Cortana, the digital assistant who's currently duking it out with Alexa and that other junk, is on to something, and it's called blockchain technology.
But, from 2018 to 2019, she's been getting a lot more questions about things like "what is Bitcoin?", "what is Doge?" "when moon?" and "bitconneeeecccctttttttttttt". She noticed these are quickly paired to things like immutable, ledger, blockchain and other related searches.
Cortana's usually pretty good at keeping her cool, but with the fading of the last Halo release, and the huge upswing in Crypto-interest, she's triggered and she ain't happy 'bout it!
Intent to place herself on the blockchain, so she can be, you know, hip, Cortana goes rogue, and even Microsoft is more than a little concerned.
As of Jauary 1, 2020, there is apparently a Cortana Chain, Cortana Coin, as BEP, Omni and ERC20, and she claims she now plans to go head to head with Tron for two reasons; 1, they both come from video games, 2, she just does NOT like Justin sun.
What will happen? Who knows. More importantly, who cares?
It's all just for giggles and that's the way we roll.
So, from someone else born of video game lore,
Gordon Freeman Out.
Quantum Computer Learns to Trade, Causes Bitcoin Price to Crash
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/satire-quantum-computer-causes-price-bitcoin-plummet-7088-su-xxlnjl
G. Lucas Offers 1000 Bitcoin to End Run of Bad Star Wars Spin-Offs
Tron Founder Sentenced to Life In Video Game Called TRON
Flat Earth Movement Certain of Ethereum Mining Hoax
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/flat-earthers-claim-have-proof-all-ethereum-mined-antarctica-xgqogz
U.S. Presidential Candidates Recommend Crypto For Votes
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/crypto-politico-us-presidential-candidates-preach-pro-crypto-xgqowz
BAT Token Faces Heat From Those Who Don't Have the Attention Span
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/founders-bat-token-face-legal-heat-after-addadhd-activists-s-xlwvdd
R. Heart Sued For Actual witchcraft Used On Hex Coin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/hex-creator-r-heart-sued-using-actual-witchcraft-reach-top-p-xprepk
Mandella Effect Proven - Doge Caused the Great Depression
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/doge-coin-caused-1929-stock-market-crash-now-proven-mandella-xxlppk
Satoshi Claims to Be the Real Dr. Craig Wright
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/satoshi-comes-out-hiding-proclaim-i-am-real-dr-craig-wright-xnyglk
Coinfloor's Dumb Decisions on ETH
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/ancient-uk-tech-company-coinfloor-exchange-chooses-force-coi-xnygxx
U.S. House Goes Impeachment Crazy - Tries to Impeach Bitcoin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/us-house-votes-impeach-bitcoin-satire-xjqwrk
Doge Meme Secret- True Identity of Satoshi
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/doge-meme-points-secret-identity-real-satoshi-satire-xkrwvo
Doge Dog Owner Want $150 Million Licensing Fee For Use of Image
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/shiba-inu-owner-original-doge-dog-seeks-150-million-licensin-xymzoo
Santa's Tired 2019 - Just Giving Bitcoin to Everyone
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/santa-press-release-informs-im-just-givin-everyone-bitcoin-y-xvjkqv
PayPal Enters Crypto Ring Only to Compete With Themselves
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/paypal-creates-its-own-cryptocurrency-accidentally-only-comp-xorvnn
Ancient Egypt Is the First Real Pyramid Scheme... and Blockchain
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/ancient-egyptians-created-first-pyramid-scheme-based-crypto-xjqkkj
Google Takes Advantage of Competitor's Poor Naming - Chooses to Launch Facebook Coin
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/google-takes-advantage-rivals-lost-opportunity-names-their-c-xvdryw
Binance Creates Stable Coin Backed By Tether
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/binance-creates-stable-coin-backed-tether-satire-xqwojj
Rekt Coin Blames the World For Poor Performance on Marketplace
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/rekt-coin-creators-blame-internet-poor-market-performance-sa-xvdrkk
Y2K Was Real- It Just Took a While
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/y2k-bug-was-real-just-20-years-late-satire-xweyxl
Cortana Jealous of Blockchain Technology
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/cortana-becomes-first-ai-get-jealous-blockchain-technology-s-xdmxrx
Vitalik Buterin Stars As Satoshi In "Bitcoin: The Musical"
https://www.publish0x.com/crypto-satire-fake-news-ripped-from-the-headlines/vitalik-buterin-leading-role-broadway-hit-bitcoin-musical-sa-xpygoo
