Crypto news with a punchline.
26 Nov 2023 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
CZ is looking at 12-18 months of US jail though prosecutors want more. Still, since CZ is not a US citizen/resident and is worth $15B, jail isn't happening for him. In fact, Monopoly just introduced the CZ Pass card: Do not go to jail but do collect...
7 Feb 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
BuzzFeed doxxed the founders of BAYC as part of the listicle: 5 ways to ruin someone’s privacy and call it journalism. ***** IreneDAO, based on the images of an IG model from Singapore, is a fascinating case study in celebrity revenue-generation with...
3 Feb 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Vitalik Buterin will get $100M back of his $1M SHIB donation because as a non-Indian he can do more with it in India despite already saying that he will use it for non-India-specific research. And if you found this totally confusing, welcome to Bolly...
28 Jan 2022 1 minute read 3 comments Dahveed
MakerDAO’s token holders voted to fire its entire communications department. This was by far the biggest “unsubscribe all” in DeFi. ***** While normies complain about Bitcoin’s use of electricity, the Governor of Texas is inviting crypto miners to th...
26 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
A Twitter Spaces call got interrupted by someone wanting to speak out of line just because he’s a “Punk holder.” Imagine watching TV and hearing: “We’re sorry, this Presidential Debate is being interrupted to bring you an important message from a ran...
25 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
John Lennon’s son is selling NFTs of Beatles memorabilia… without the actual physical items. Imagine all the people paying and not getting shit… whohoo. ***** The Trump family discovered TrumpCoin and plan to sue the creators for un-tarnishing the Tr...
24 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Big Daddy Ape Club (yes, a BAYC ripoff) on Solana rug pulled $1.3M. The surprising part was that the founders were “verified”/doxed via a decentralized verification platform Civic. Guess if you can’t trust 3rd-party doxing, the only reliable verifica...
18 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Moody’s downgraded El Salvador’s sovereign debt because of the country’s Bitcoin purchases. Fast forward two years when Bitcoin keeps mooning, stock markets crash, and El Salvador downgrades Moody’s for shady ratings and archaic understanding of fina...
17 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Friends With Benefits DAO booted its cofounder after another crypto influencer shamed him for old tweets with racial and homophobic slurs. The DAO will now be renamed to Friends with Cancel Culture. ***** Vitalik Buterin dared people to roast him. Sa...
15 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Senator Elizabeth Warren’s former senior staffer put $20 into PoolTogether and then sued it for running an illegal lottery. Good job protecting state monopolies on the lottery scam against evil “Big DeFi.” ***** Fascinating CT thread on how one Crypt...
