Crypto news with a punchline.
14 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Two 15-year olds from Irelands built an AI model predicting crypto gains. Crypto whales are already excited for their crypto gains at the expense of anyone using this model. ***** Coinbase is getting into the derivatives game by acquiring a CFTC-regu...
11 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Associated Press is launching an NFT marketplace to support journalism. Buying a journalist has never been so convenient. ***** CZ’s crypto stash is now double that of Satoshi prompting Craig Wright to publicly claim that he is CZ. ***** Coinbase an...
10 Jan 2022 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Well, Nonsense is back! It may not always be daily but it’s time to put some fun back into crypto news. Let’s dive right in: The founders of the NFT project, Pudgy Penguins were kicked out from their own project after apparently draining the treasu...
18 Jun 2021 1 minute read 1 comment Dahveed
A piece of real estate in the Decentraland virtual world sold for a record $913k worth of MANA. Immediately, Facebook, Google, and Apple announced they’re building offices on that land plot. ***** After losing some money in the TITAN coin crash to ze...
14 Jun 2021 1 minute read 1 comment Dahveed
Bitcoin rises after a random bullish comment by Elon Musk about Tesla accepting it if mining becomes 50% greener. Musk also tweeted that Tesla will accept Mario Cash if GameStop gives players 50% more cheat codes. ***** Block.one, the company behind...
13 Jun 2021 1 minute read 3 comments Dahveed
China officially ordered Yunnan Province miners to stop mining by the end of June. From now on, only forced labor is allowed. ***** Some American bookmakers give Bitcoin at $10k this year a nearly 60% chance. Bitcoin bulls are disappointed that the o...
11 Jun 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Apparently, Elon Musk will have no role in the Bitcoin Mining Council that he may have cofounded. He’s obviously far too busy with the Dogecoin Tweeting Council. ***** Canadian Prime Minister’s brother is giving away DOGE at a party. Well, now we kno...
3 Jun 2021 1 minute read 1 comment Dahveed
Residents of Beijing will be able to win a red envelope with 200 yuan worth of China’s digital currency in a lottery. But since it’s a communist lottery, the winners will have the honor and privilege of donating 400 yuan each to the Communist Party o...
2 Jun 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Uniswap is spending $112k to sponsor Team Squad in esports. The exact amount of sponsorship will depend on Uniswap’s tolerance for Team Squad’s slippage in game performance. ***** An operator of a “ring” of unlicensed Bitcoin ATMs in the U.S. has bee...
31 May 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Burger Swap on the BSC was hacked to the tune of $7.2M because of one line of code Burger Swap’s devs added when copying the source code from Uniswap, raising suspicions that the line was added specifically so they could rug pull. Indeed the devs ini...
