Crypto news with a punchline.
27 May 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
White House cybersecurity advisor lamented that crypto companies failed to hardcode guardrails against the misuse of crypto. She then took a briefcase of cash from President Biden and headed to HAMAS headquarters. ***** Binance refuses rollbacks on...
27 May 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
While many investment banks are diving deep, the world’s largest asset manager, BlackRock is still studying Bitcoin. Specifically, it’s studying how to offer a fund that exactly mirrors Bitcoin’s price movement but charges a 5% fee and keeps half of...
26 May 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
A “green” NFT platform is launching on the Tezos blockchain. Oddly, most NFT creators and investors prefer to stay on Ethereum and be absolutely filthy… rich. ***** The government of China’s Inner Mongolia province wants Bitcoin miners to be blackl...
9 May 2021 1 minute read 2 comments Dahveed
Binance U.S. is hiring a lot of people to compete with Coinbase. You know what would help them compete with Coinbase? Not KYCing Americans out of Binance.com. ***** Co-founder of Nifty Gateway warned that NFT speculation will end badly. His stateme...
6 May 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Per a recent MasterCard survey, ⅔ of millennials are open to using crypto. Sadly for MasterCard, only ⅓ are open to using credit cards. ***** The founder of WallStreetBets wants to make stocks more like crypto. For starters, every shareholder call...
3 May 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Ebay is trying to figure out a way to enter the NFT market. Somebody needs to explain to Ebay that there is no such thing as a “slightly used” NFT. ***** China — which publicly shits on Bitcoin all the time — is considering it as an alternative inves...
3 May 2021 1 minute read 2 comments Dahveed
The price of Ethereum hit $3k, passing Bank of America in market value. The only difference is that when the markets crash, it’ll be Ethereum bailing out Americans, not vice versa. ***** Warren Buffet’s sidekick, Charlie Munger, called Bitcoin “di...
2 May 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
Ethereum devs launched steklo, a very short-lived and experimental testnet to merge ETH 1 and ETH 2. The testnet is so short-lived that they almost called it Libra. ***** U.K. authorities arrested two men for selling $4.8 in Bitcoin worth of cocai...
30 Apr 2021 1 minute read 1 comment Dahveed
In a crypto case, the court decided that the defense’s “expert” does not qualify as such. The decision was solely based on the person not having laser eyes in his Twitter pic. ***** NBA legend, Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutomb...
29 Apr 2021 1 minute read 0 comments Dahveed
The IRS arrested the alleged owner of Bitcoin Fog, a mixer that laundered $366M BTC, after analyzing 10 years of transactions. So they can spend years tracing Bitcoin transactions but can’t spend 5 minutes to simplify crypto gains reporting — fog you...
