Cryptofans, we love ya!  Thanks for stealing the power of money from central banks to give to the people.  Prometheus unbound babeeees!!! 

This month will stand in history as the golden age of federal banks keeping the bitcoin price down.  Yes, what are those lyrics?   central bank rednecks, anachronistic rednecks,  keeping the futuristic  bitcoin down!    The US and EU and Japanese and Chinese all manipulate the stock, fixed income, mortgage, and ALL markets but that's not funny.  And as y'all, dear readers, know, we are here for the hardy har hars baby!  and defenders of fiat these days are a Schumpeterian cornucopia of a belly buster laugh fest.  So let's shift formats - where were we?  #10 funniest - the absolute GANGSTERS at the Fed have been screwing with gold money for a long, long time.  Skip the Thirties, and the Seventies, tho,  check the last few years . while on the OTHER side of hard money, the feds propped up EVERYTHING in the last decade.  Which one made you laugh?  For us, the CONCEPT of the guvmint propping up JUNK BONDS blew a circuit.   JEEZUS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL THEM JUNK BONDS.  Other signs of the apocalypse--  the boring arse Repo market heaving a technicolor yawn every year or so just now, rates popping up to 10% for overnight???  Also just now, the worst seven year auction EVAH (tbf, seven years are only thirty years old, but still.)

What viscerally ripped us? the TIPS market.  Remember that wonderful fintech innovation, the Treasury Index  Protected assets? TIPS, that the asshat Nouriel Roubini recently recommended over BTC?   When they came out, we set up new tech for trading desk seats with all the real time analytics, custom market data selections, felt patriotic, honest and useful.  Work WITH the inflation, not against it, release the magic of the open marketplace of the free world on ANY problem & it's aiight, ya ya ya.  

Leading right to the #9  funniest thing in Fed bitcoin manipulation - of course, any economic indicator that is used as a target, very quickly becomes a lie in fiat clown world.    Now Jeromeo Powell is the LARGEST HOLDER OF TIPS BONDS IN THE UNIVERSE.  & that's only what we know of actually directly.   So what is "real" inflation, which was to be expressed by the magic of free markets by price discovery in the TIPS bond world???   The price "indicator" of TIPS  is now exactly whatever the $#*&#$@  Jerome Powell says it is, and 100% nothing else.  

Other  madnesses rise as well. The #8 funniest thing about the central banks manipulating the price of BTC??  Quantitive easing, QE,  starting with the name, is a perversion pretty much beyond comprehension when considered.   Like the World Trade Towers, only comic books opened our minds enough to get around the degenerate horror of this kabuki theatre.   Global fixed income markets were built to issue bonds and raise money from the people to do things together impossible alone.  Now, with the government buying back their own bonds to prop the price up, WTF is this,  aboriginal dreamtime of central bankers doing the same thing their paper hanging, forever war mongering forefathers did before them??  (#&@#$(*  this $($&#@(!!  really if the system is just buying back it's own offerings WTF is the system???   

AND don't call it "quant" anything you lying sacks, there's nothing analytical  at all about printing 4 trillion to buy YOUR OWN BONDS BACK AGAIN???  Call it  "bullshit crony kleptocrat theft of money from the taxpayers and pensioners to reward our Cantillon pals who give us $800,000 per night for talking at their dinner parties."   Don't try to smear the name of  Quants trying to make an honest living with your paper hanging you filthy b-stards.  Quantitive relative value analysis only works when the markets work, not when it's all political shocks and policy/reg  shocks. 

Now the Ozzies oi oi oi ( and other countries!!)  actually HAVE full yield curve control and idiots are calling for it here!! Go for it dudes, Bitcoin laughs at you.   We were talking HARD HARD power? The EU has a TRILLION or two in their fund to prop up their bonds.  The US spending about the same, plus Japan doing the same thing, little britain, Ozzies etc thats THREE or FOUR TRILLION of dollars/euros being printed and spent on nothing PER YEAR,  What's BTC now, one trillion?  We double damn guarantee any idiots spending three or four trillion have thought about buying ALL the bitcoin since it is the ONLY THING ever to threaten their power (except actual national bankruptcy, lost war/revolution.)  We once fielded a call from a trading desk asking us to analyze if we could just buy ALL the lottery tickets?  No meathead, it doesn't work that way.  But look us in the eye and try to tell us those gleefully tossing 4,000,000,000.00  a year on manipulation of bond prices have NOT dabbled a bit in the derivatives market against the one indicator going HARD against them. 

#7 - Mikey Sailor of MikeyStrategies proved his giant IDGAF stainless steel nads by doing a Texas hedge, doubling down and BTFD at an average cost of 48K for a bigger buy than all of us will ever dream of, god bless his herculean efforts, striking right when the Feds managed to wrangle the cost of BTC down for two minutes.   But that did not remove the giant target Mikey  drew right on his ass, and right on BTC at 52K USD, the average cost of his monumental charge into the fray and efforts to bring all the corporate treasuries with him.

Believe it - every golden moment that the  central  banks can keep the price of BTC anywhere NEAR  52K is a triumph for the forces of darkness.  OK, only a slight victory, but a very public one.   You saw them all scramble to  go after it right when Mikey announced "52K ," also RIGHT WHEN (coincidence #8979798) JPM published "BTC is unsustainable."  

Cause remember, #6 funniest thing about the feds manipulating BTC - all of the "central bank experts" are experts only in one thing - navigating the byzantine swamps of raw political power.   Is LaGuarde honest and upright?  NO she was convicted in France of using her governmental authority to steal 750 million from one bank to give back to HER crony bank. Is Janet Yellen a quant supergenius, publishing papers and running arb desks powered by functional real world relevant models predicting price movements?   Oh yeah riiiiight.   OK, Yelling  and LaGuardia MIGHT recognize a Black Scholes option pricing tree if you brought it up before lunch, but what we will never ever know & SHE d-mn well knows is WTF ever it takes to get Goldman & all the rest to pay you a cool $800,000 for remarks after a rubber chicken dinner, skip jail or $$ fines for your HALF BILLION  euro fraud / abuse convictions,  and then waltz back into  TOTALLY UNRELATED, pure coincidence jobs regulating those banks and handing  them fiat.  Yes, that glint of light far up above the clouds was a gleam off  a central banker's jewelry as they soar way, way over  (and chit down on) all of us.  And ya know what?  It IS Janet's world right now.  PRICE DISCOVERY IS DEAD OMFG.  Janet has the skills to tell us all " I don't think we should audit the fed"  while she piles up that ponzi.  Bernie Madoff is spinning in his jail cell in jealousy. 

#5 -  central bank abuse of  soft power - Jerome Powell, butter wouldn't melt in yer too cute mouth, bwah.   Oh Jeromeo, will you hint a tease of a "promise" to  us to airdrop your latest bombload of "free" printed fiat sooner rather than later please pretty please with guidance on top?  The short term cap markets boys are drooling, not good to leave them TOO long!  Don't forget to keep up the "BTC = Terrorist" drip feed, and keep those negative headlines pumping from JP Morgan and the gang!  In fact, waaayyy too funny, straight to 

#4  funniest part of the Fed manipulating BTC down-  JP Morgan talking out of both sides of their mealy mouths.  Now, we all know JP Morgan is all bromance with the US of A.  We all know secret meetings have been held, where the government has given some of their seemingly infinite amount of "money" to pals like JPM to buy a bunch of Bitcoin to pop up a sell wall when needed.  Or to simply buy put after put after put and sell calls on BTC on the shiny new derivatives market until the BTC price sags.  But that's not funny.  What is funny?  the SAME DAY ( those coincidences again) that Mikey announces he is again king hell of the move to BTC, JPM announces bitcoin is "unsustainable!"  It's hilarious.  Yes, JPM, we all want to publish BTC will go to 140, while we say it won't work.  Yeppers, BTC NFG - JPM spits on BTC while opening an entire new division Onyx to shill crypto, while ACTUALLY  SHILLING JPM COIN!!!   What's that AWESOME Jamie Dimon quote he threatened us with while shilling his bag of US of A fiat - " If you buy bitcoin, someday you will pay the price."  Yes, I think we will Jamie, and that price will soon be $146K according to YOUR boys. Bwah. Yew got a cute finger there, darling, don't wave it in our faces again if you want to keep it. 

#3 funniest thing about Central bank kicking BTC - IT WON'T FREAKIN WORK.  No matter WHO you are, you can manipulate the market for a long time until you can't.  Just ask the brainiacs running the central bank of Little Britain back when Georgie Soros broke Sterling in 1992, just because ya know, it wasn't really Sterling anymore was it?  no silverware or candlesticks involved, just fiat.  And the central little Britain  snobs had to do heavy maths like - should we sell Buckingham palace to defend the pound this weekend?  What about NEXT weekend should we SHUT DOWN THE ROYAL AIR FORCE to pay THAT THEN???   HOW WILL WE PAY NEXT MONTH DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT WE CAN GET FOR SCOTLAND??!!??!!  Wall Street used to be real freaking  firm on this rule overall, today facing central banks markets are shaky and price discovery is dead, but EVEN THAT doesn't matter.  BTC is NOT a currency, it is NOT a commodity, it is entirely new in agility while being entirely old like the gold florin or the gold backed dollar in terms of unalterable value, this ain't an investment, it's a paradigm shift in money. 

The #2 funniest crypto about Fed BTC price manipulation - the wisdom of Dirks Bently - The fed banks know the bitcoin express has left the station - they are just hoping for a little tap on the brakes sweetie!!   

Those politicians may be evil, but they aint dumb, they know the truth, yet this is a time of big power moves, showing the steel behind the velvet glove.  The US central bank, in collaboration with the EU and whatever other Davos boys want to tag along, has thrown down and is moving against the price of BTC.  JPM and pals pay 2.3 BILLION in fines for manipulating LIBOR.  The Swedish central bank then publishes that blockchain is easily manipulated.  Spare us.  And they know in their bitter, black, shriveled hearts that they will never win.  But they are willing to steal trillions, depressing the lives of millions just to pony up to be  just askin for a slow down..... 

 There is a great moment in one of the Micheal Lewis's "liar's poker" books, the one about Long Term Capital Markets or someone crashing the world (turning wall street saying #238 into reality - if you owe the bank a million, they own you.  If you owe the bank 500 million, you own them ar ar ar.  We actually re-heard that chestnut from some research b-ttheads who later joined LTCM.)    This is the day when Lehman is just showing signs of cracking, they go to a big fat guy at Bear Stearns and ask him what to do, what might happen.  He looks at the situation and tells them it's way too late, it's all (#&@@#(* over, the sharks will smell the blood, dead traders walking IT'S OVAH!!   The feds KNOW they can't stop this one -they are Dierks singing "Ah knows nothins stopping yew baby, I'd settle for a slowdown but yer wheels just keep turning down the road ahead... " The central bankers would look a lot less like the evil fools they are if they could just visibly, politically, kick that can down the road even a LITTLE....

Cause the Central Banks ALL know, the big and little people know, the dogs in the street know, they know the 

#1 funniest thing about the central banks trying to stomp bitcoin - Any fed bank that wants to kill BTC could do it anytime, easy peasy.  All the US, or the EU,  would have to do? Once again have sound money, and quit printing for the kleptocracy.    Peg the dollar back to (nearly extinct) actual free market priced gold, or Bitcoin, or freaking lithium, any commodity will do.  Shazam, bitcoin would be dead  as a rising asset.   Hell central banks could just start NOT printing, behaving on a real budget like Jamie D. publicly tells us to.  But oddly, we all just don't think any of THAT's EVAH gonna happen...

Peace, love and sats brothers and sisters, amen

Dave