This week I gained 0,4kg and it pleases me greatly. Had I kept loosing weight while eating like a raccoon in a dumpster I'd have gone bonkers. There's never as little incentive to do things the right way as when you do whatever and can still accomplish your goal.
I don't know whether this was the third or the fourth week in a row eating an unhinged amount of snacks, sweets, absolutely oversized portions... You know how it goes. I probably could check the timeline by going back to my previous posts but if I did it I wouldn't write it here as I'm trying to depict a realistic image of my journey and the reality of the situation is that I have absolutely lost track of it.
Anyways, gaining weight this week has made me reflect on a couple of things.
The first one is what I want to achieve in this journey. Loosing weight is just a mean to become healthier. That's the goal. That means that even if I'm loosing weight while eating poorly, for example, I'm getting farther away from my real goal. And, trust me, you can loose a lot of weight by being unhealthier. I've seen people suddenly loose a lot of weight because of uncontrolled diabetes. The same goes for thyroid problems (there's some that'll make you gain weight and some that'll make you loose it). This is something to keep in mind at all times.
The second one is about how I got to my actual weight. How did I manage to have 40kgs of pure fat in my body? I have gained so little weight this week just by controlling my breakfasts, kind of behaving at lunch (absolutely not weighting my intake or anything, just by going with something similar to what I know is right) and keeping as last week for dinners. It's an impressive amount of unhealthy food. Let's do the kind of horrible math that the internet likes so much: if I've had to eat pure junk for three weeks straight to gain 0,4kgs and for the sake of easiness let's say I'm at 90kgs now (I'm not) that'd be 225 times 0,4. Now, if every one of this 225 times means 3 weeks of junk that would be 675 straight weeks of eating absolutely pure junk. If we divide 675/52 (weeks in a year) that gives us roughly 13 years of uncontrolled habits. I don't believe in this math as this is not how math works. This would be a projection at best and I think most of this stuff (and anything related to statistics, really) to be almost a pseudoscience. However I think it gets the point across perfectly: I'm obese because of years, years and years of bad habits, one on top of the other.
Thinking about the number of people in my same situation is crazy to me. There's a lot (and I mean A LOT) of people whose health is in danger or has declined because of sustained bad habits. I don't mean that everybody should always do absolutely everything that is recommended to be perfectly healthy, especially knowing that healthcare is and ever changing field and what we hold true today may be proven wrong tomorrow. I mean just how easy it is for us to become unhealthy or have a certain amount of health problems without even noticing.
Anyways, I kind of went on a rant there. I just wanted to make you aware of it. Awareness is the first step to change and even though it takes a lot of resources (time, resolution, help, advice, research, etc) I hope that you can at least think about this every now and then. Even if you only take a little step towards taking care of your health, you should be proud of it. Habits, both good and bad, build over time and if you're willing to try new, healthier habits, it'll get easier over time. You don't even have to succeed. I think I'm doing a decent job right now but I've had many, many failures before I got here. At least now I know what doesn't work for me so I can help going down the wrong path again.
As always, thanks for reading.
