I lost 0,5kg this week. That is a little over 1lb.

The more I think about it, the more irrationally angry it makes me.

I will elaborated by making a somewhat detailed list of my food intake for the last week:

• 3 bags of microwave popcorn.
• 150gr of Maltesers.
• 1 pack double-creamed Oreos.
• 4 chocolate cream sandwiches.
• 3 turkey sandwiches.
• 2 liters of milk.
• 400gr chocolate cake.
• A ration of pork with peas (even though I overdid it a little with the peas this lunch complied with the dietary standard).
• 2 liters of random fruit smoothies, which would have been more had I not decided last minute to share it with the counter, the clean pots, a random dish towel and even the friggin' microwave.

You don't need to be a nutrition expert to see how this shouldn't lead to losing weight. I was also expecting for last week's diet to catch up with me, which apparently didn't happen either. The trick to losing weight while eating this is that I skipped some meals. A lot of them, actually. I went without food at all for more than 48hrs straight. I was amazed that I didn't feel any negative effects doing this, as I'm the kind of person that doesn't usually tolerate a 30 minutes delay when referring to food. Anyways, by skipping about half my meals I managed to keep under my overall caloric intake for the week.

I want to be really clear about this: I'm sharing this information because the definition of this blog says that I'll share my struggles. I DO NOT recommend doing this in anyways whatsoever. I didn't do this on purpose nor am I proud of acting this way. This is merely the result of a situation that has made me feel deeply threatened and insecure. I think trying this would be the fastest and safest possible way to get a full blown eating disorder. 

I was in a very poor mood all week and wanting to eat properly and not feeling like it (I tried but everything just tasted terribly) didn't help. It also messed badly with my sleep schedule. 

I don't think I'd consider this situation to be the worst I've lived so far but it sure affected me more than I imagined. I had never before felt like not eating. As I explained in another post, I've always been the kind to not feel full so this has been a surprise for me.

Anyways, I'm better now. My partner spent the weekend here and I've eaten quite normally. I didn't weight the food at all or counted calories but I eat normal food and I enjoyed it and that's more than good enough for now. 

I'm also a bit tired of cooking and doing dishes as cooking for my sick dog is both the first thing I do when I wake up and the last thing I do before going to bed. I used to cook twice daily for me, tops, as I don't count making a salad as cooking, for example. At least it seems that she's slowly getting better and I'm calmer now that I've made a decision about the whole situation. It's not a great decision but I think it's the best possible outcome considering the circumstances. We'll see what happens.

I know this is not the best update but it's also not the worst, so there's that.

As always, thanks for reading.