Crypto fans, we love you.  Thank you for being here on the revolutionary Publish0x, striving mightily to create that crypto positive Overton window to save humanity from the abuses of fiat!!

It's been a tragicomic week, that's for sure.  Hertz donuts EVERYWHERE, another chance for the haters to sing of the doom of crypto.  But ya know what?? Zoom out.  WAAAAAYYYY out.  It all doesn't mean CHIT, crypto is doing FINE, and Sammy?  He's JUST FUNNY!!!  Along with the clowns surrounding him!!  Here, for all of us who love crypto - for Sammy's despicable arse -  this is the apropos reading music for this week baby!! TLDR: there's a version set to Hollywood car crashes, might be more better. 

We should do some warmup funnies.  The FT thought that ETH mining was done the same way, just with less power!!! That's so stupid that it took us days to even understand what they thought they meant!!! 

It's VERY funny, the penny finally dropped on EA, effective altruism.  The FT HATES EA cause they hate crypto and Sammy, THAT"s why they were so crazed about it!! We did not understand until we saw the NYT kiss Sammy's arse, along with EA, even AFTER Sammy was proven a criminal!!  Hey, give 100 million to the right people, and we reckon one half of the press with defend you as best they can forever!!! 

It was funny, - as soon as Sammy said " we do not mix our funds!"  and "we will be OK!!"  it was OVAH. 

Janet's looking funny - she's due to grace  Sammy with her stage later this month!! WTF is THAT!!??  NOT a good look for Yellen!! TLDR:  Ah ha ha HA HA HA!!! This is the scheduled NYT "Summit" event!!  Get this - this year's focus is on connecting business, culture, and politics!!!   Ar ar ar !! Or, y'know, maybe, not so much, perhaps we could / would / should let business be bidness, culture be culture, and politics be politics !!!!   You pompous $#(#$#$(*&#@(*&N !!!!  

Sammy's biz model WAS to combine politics with biz money, thereby claiming the throne of being the poster child of political correctness!!! 

It WAS WORKING GREAT!!!! until it didn't.  

Sammy's the STAR tho.  Maxine Waters loves him!! 

TLDR:  Now, in a stroke of genius, Maxine  in charge of grilling SBF! !!! There once was a word called recuse.... another phrase called conflict of interests... can't make it up, y'all wouldn't believe it!!   Hey it's a Maxine problem it needs a Maxine solution ar ar ar !! 

It's very funny, some major player said that Caroline called him to pitch for FTX. The only value prop she gave?? "We are the second largest donors to the Dems ya know!"  & she told him that TWICE!!!  before he didn't invest... 

Let's take a quick moment to laugh at Caroline.    Here's our favorite - reminder kids, never EVER tweak and tweet!!! ah ha haTLDR:  no, seriously.  Just don't. 

TBF, there is a lot to laugh about.  The next time we are worth tens of billions, we hope we are not sharing a five bed apartment with (now) NINE other people, most of them guys, all of them in relationships.  Lots of naked guys in the pool parties, a sausage factory, just sayin.  We actually feel BAD for Caroline.  Sammy did everything in the world to line up all the realpolitik power he could, and that was a LOT!!!  We think he just hung with Caroline for her daddy's connections with Gary.  Here, CoinDesk makes it all hilariously funny & clear: 

TLDR: things were so bad, the AP had to debunk it all!! "The former head of FTX is NOT related to the head of the SEC.  Well, not on paper, lol TLDR: how about semi-polycue daughter in law?? does that work??  It's worse than THAT, Prof Ellison's team did all the THINKING, and draft law writing,  for Gary!!! dear readers know, it's funny when the lady doth protest TOO MUCH!!!  Remember "I am not a crook!!!"   "I did not have sex with that woman!!"  Oh yeah leave us not forget Sammy and the leaders of the free world who loved his schtick:   TLDR: NO, CoinDesk, DC has some splaining to do.  Sammy already spilled the beans.

Poor Caroline, she was so believing the madness that she was living in that she publically espoused the moral virtues of a Chinese harem.  She liked living in her "polycue". WTF is a polycue?   We once had an actress girlfriend, now a post PHD professor  & director, who loved to set up the love triangle for fun & drama.  Is a polycue like a love triangle with even MORE too many sides, LOL?

Caroline is like the seventies girl who gave up free love with no commitments,  but then still had to do all the dishes and make food as well as earn money, lol!!!  Caroline had Stockholm syndrome!!!  Sexual partners in the polycue should compete in a cutthroat, dog eat dog hierarchical world she said.  Really?  Maybe a little more trad woulda been fine.  

It's VERY funny, dear readers know, in Wall Street sometimes ya need a scapegoat!!  & it surely looks like Caroline meets the bill!! Sammy didn't know nuttin!! ya right TLDR: Trabucco looks like a genius!! or a crook with good timing.  Getting away from that scary looking symbol, eww icky!!!  and Sammy talking in that weird high pitched voice, sounded like Mike Tyson or Micheal Jackson!!!    Man, maybe wear some nice italian shorts and shoes when you meet the ex PM and POTUS!!   We once went over the puddle to look at Antoni from Nexo in person.  He really seemed like a together human.  So much that when he's caught on Youtube saying BTC will go up and the Feds can't raise rates, we forgive him, h-ll we agreed with him!!  Sammy, on the other hand, shook like a leaf on some interviews what what WTF??   We love Mike and Micheal but would never trust them to manage money.... 

Gary  was talking with Sammy for an hour this year about a NEW platform!!!  WTF Gary, where are your professional skills?? or Spidey sense?? It just can't get much worse, Sammy wrote proposed laws along with Caroline's daddy for Gary.  Oddly, those laws were designed to give FTX a huge regulatory advantage!!!  Can you say semi-monopolistic predatory regulatory behavior?  Sure ya can, we KNEW ya could!! 

Looks EXTRA bad, dear readers know  meanwhile Gary applies the law unequally to Coinbase and other existing CEXs!!  

It's ALSO funny, Gary is famous now for one dirty trick.  When firms come to him to TRY and get legal, Gary takes ALL the info they give and then ATTACKs THEM WITH THAT INFO!!!  That thing with Brian wasn't a one-off!! 

We once did some technical marcomms for a (shell) company that supposedly helped Madoff execute trades.  When we technically tried to dig in to see what their arguable, defendable unique value prop was, there was NO THERE THERE!!   Think we actually got paid somewhat, but could NOT help them.  "Big pipes for fast trading!!" they said.  OK cool,  assembly level speed code written right to the silicon?? T3's everywhere?? Co-located in important data centers with exchanges within cross-connect distance?? One hop from Mae West??   Fast trading chips, walking the low latency path with skilled network dudes?  No, nothing, they knew nothing, they had nothing, just mouthed "big pipes" like " Electrolytes" in the Idiocracy movie.  TLDR: Really, they DID know, and have, nothing ar ar ar !! Took us forever to figure it out. Man if they had come clean with us and said it was all vaporware, we could have helped them spin the lie!! ar ar ar ar !!!   Madoff was famous for being an anal facist about what colors his brochures were, and how they were laid out  just so for meetings.  Lord we HATED people like that!! Though they were, in retrospect, kinda right ar ar ar ar arOOOOOO!!!   Ya CAN fool a whole lot of the people!! for SOME TIME!! 

Wow, Justin Sun's story is pretty freakin funny.  He took a chitcoin exchange and put it BACK to having no KYC / AML.  Famous for screaming " just FAKE the AML DOCS!" to his team.  Famous for stealing 300 bitcoin from dust that clients had sent on the wrong chain - once recovered, he KEPT IT!!!  Famous for being OUTLAWED from various countries - then buying his way back in the next month!!  But Justin was SMALL TIME compared to Sammy, Sammy ran with the BIG DAWGS in his cheezy tennis shoes, crappy car, politically motivated girlfriend.  Now we understand, Sammy slept on his beanbag cuz there was no ROOM LEFT in the five bed with nine roommates!!! 

What's really funny is still the most tragic.  Just like Jon Corzine never went to jail for stealing much needed client funds, Sammy won't either.  He's in that special circle where the rules don't count.  Corzine stole funds from farmers who needed them to hedge and buy seeds, average deposit was 70K.  When the feds came down, ex Goldman Sachs & democratic senator Corzine said the CFO / Treasurer of MF Global did the dirty deed.   She replied, $##$(#$ off, I ain't taking the fall, I have proof Corzine OK'ed it!!!TLDR: Corzine is very short.  Even though like David Lee Roth, his publicity team says otherwise.  We saw Roth at five AM in the famous Save the Robots LES nightclub, and Corzine at 6 AM on the  MF Global trading floor, they are both WAY shorter than their publicity lol!!

Mysteriously, the Feds went away, no-one went to jail, the farmers got their money back so much later many went out of business.   Prediction !!! (hope we are wrong)  Look for a lot of whoopla, followed by a similar denoument for Sammy & Caroline.    For example, the NYT gave a story saying NOTHING about criminal actions, hidden backdoors from accounting, etc. etc.  The Wa Post did a story loving Effective Altruism.  The FT said Sammy was good cause he funded Ukraine hackers!! It's a setup.  Steal a TV, go to jail!! Steal ten billion, you are not even under house arrest, still free to walk to the store and buy Cheetos & Mt. Dew!!!! $#($*&#$(*$&*$& N!!!!! 

OK, we gotta fade.  Usually our humor weekend leaves us all happy, not this time, tho "crawling thru the wreckage" helped!!!  We promise to come back and look for funnier crypto news straightaway. 

Peace out, remember it is ALL gonna be ok.  Together, we all are MAKING It ok.  And thank you for that!! 

Love,

Dave 

Please please refer a friend thank you thank you!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPI8RHfL5UY

Crawling from the wreckage, crawling from the wreckage
You'd think by now at least
That half my brain would get the message

Crawling from the wreckage, crawling from the wreckage
Bits of me are scattered in the trees and on the hedges
Crawling from the wreckage, crawling from the wreckage
Into a brand new car