SS!!!  These dirty, duplicitous, sneaky, underhanded, lying, thieving, cheating excuses for subhuman garbage can swim in the deepest fiery pit in the lowest circle of hell for all eternity!

Okay, so I'm a little perturbed at the moment.  Maybe you noticed that.  Here's the deal: my main bank, a credit union which shall remain nameless because I would hate for their crap to sully the good name of an aquatically focused branch of the US military, decided to add a function to my savings and checking accounts without telling me.  This "funding" option automatically transfers money from savings to checking when the checking account "gets low."  Now, I have already had to have overdraft protection removed from my account twice.  So, Imagine my ire when I check my accounts today to find - what's this? - a transfer from savings to checking int he exact amount of an overdraft fee, along with another unauthorized transfer of $32.71 (the exact amount needed to resolve a pending transaction).  "Oh, but sir, this isn't overdraft protection, it's called 'funding' and even though it does the exact same thing as overdraft protection it's totally different and you have to remove it from your account separately, but we didn't feel the need to tell you that when you were removing overdraft protection."  That's not an exact quote, but that's basically what I got for my 35 minutes of phone call trouble.  I did get them to remove the overdraft charge, but the other transaction "wasn't a fee so there's nothing" they can do.

If ever I was looking for a reason to make the switch to crypto a complete one, this is it.  Why trust a bank and let them make money off my accounts when I can plant my dollars in crypto seeds and watch them grow when and where I choose?  Once I have had time to track down about a dozen good decentralized exchanges and a few coin washers, I'll start the process of converting all my liquid assets to crypto.  I'm tired of the people I entrust with storing my capital attempting to steal it from me.  I do not want any form of automatic account management.  I want to manually control every aspect of my finances and a centralized institution just doesn't seem content to let me do that.

Now I have to explain to my children that their allowances are being docked because my bank decided to pillage the savings account I use to store that allowance money until it is time to pay them.  You see, we have a system in my house where each allowance-age child (7 and up) is allotted 1% of the total household income monthly.  Each time they break a rule, fight each other, disrespect their mother or otherwise act in a way that I consider unacceptable, I take one dollar from their allowance ($5 for disrespecting Mom) and put it into the monthly prize pool.  The child who has the highest remaining allowance at the end of the month also collects the monthly prize pool (divided evenly in the event of a tie, to encourage cooperation).  I keep all that money in a savings account.  Or I did until today.

I think I'll pay them in Bitcoin.