Salam inshallah haibibbie cryptopunkers, God knows we love ya! and your open source incorruptible cybercurrencied drive to truth and justice in hard supranational money!! And lord knows defi is the cleansing rain of fire so needed to clean up the act of big banks. Chagrin, sorry for my bodega Yemeni arabic.
Dear readers know we know the stunning light of non-fiat money gives new hope & life to ideas and ideals of a transcendental, gorgeous new arc of history. The potential death by starvation of eternal war as financed by fiat in Rome, the British empire, and the american industrial war machine. Taking us all to a higher ground. Ya know, ideals that if said five years ago, we would have called you a sad dirty deluded hippy for even trying to have such thoughts.
Well pow, now ding dong the wicked old LIBOR is dead, the Bank of England has chit the bed, El Salvador has bailed on fiat ( and we are all El Salvador) and Crypto stadium is here! The crypto meta world is a wonderful luscious garden of futuristic creations offering true believers their choice in an honest meritocracy of ideas. Beliefs that rise or fall while impartially enforced by the team's crafted code.
World, here rises Marhaba, halal finance. Sharia compliant access to crypto. God bless ya MRHB, you'll go straight to heaven!!! What does this really mean? A lot, and it's really fecking deeply cool. Islamic scholar approved halal defi for the masses! OK, OK, depending on how many angels can dance on a pin according to which scholar ( we are jealous of the Grand Mufta title ) ya believe in--- we should say sharia compliant-ish. The point is the same. A positive religious / societal supergroup technological movement serving up the modern benefits of crypto in a traditionally vetted and (at least increasingly approved ) religiously correct way.
Yes, brothers and sisters, in all of our hearts of hearts we know comparative religion is a blazing beacon of truth, truly the holy grail, the schiznit philosophical pinnacle apex predator reward in higher education. We all must learn to revere everyone's honest expressions of faith. Ethics and morals have always been incredibly important to us. The joke? we got great morals, Fluffy, our strength is the strength of ten cause our heart is pure, baby! Missed out on a ton of bad partying and questionably legal biz deals as our friends knew we would never approve. BUT judge our ethics ? Defining ethics as work related standards vs. morals as life beliefs, our ethics could be shaky. Dear readers will recall we will pick locks and jump walls real & corporate to borrow hardware or whatever to be a name you can trust get the job done at work. Hell, we've seen us do it. But we believe we believe. We read decades of "The Ethicist" in the NYT and often / usually thought the Ethicist was kind of a low life, cheap cheating bastard, lousy dishonest sort of immoral dude. And we consider ourselves a Brooklynic scholar.
Really we believe. Our moral obsession once drove us to court to defend a cab driver. Drag/cafe racing the 650 vs. a Ducatti motorcycle in NYC's lower east side, the light went red, a taxi slammed on the brakes. The Duck and we hit the anti-lock brakes to slide on the rough pavement & just miss the taxi's bumper. Alas, a scooter, inspired by our stupidity, came flying up from behind us. His tiny little wheels bounced along until he smacked the taxi's bumper. A passing ambulance took scooter guy. The Duck rider shook hands and split, we stayed. In a strange manhattan flux, a surreal parade of cops - from bull harness beat cop up thru male & female team, traffic cops, detectives, finally local captain appeared, each saying " it was the taxi's fault!" While the young russian taxi driver and I ( and at first the Ducati rider) repeated " oh no, it was the scooter's fault! Only AFTER giving court testimony, we realized the convention was to pin the accident on the taxi--- because the scooter guys never have insurance. What wait, WTF would the Ethicist say? (we reckon he would wrongly agree with the cops.) Anyway, we love us some morals. Especially when codified and rising towering far above taxi court. 
So, What's halal besides good food? So whaddaya got here in halal MRHB? well, no dang usury for one thing, that's excellent, defining usury at >0%. To us usury is defined by state pawnbroker laws, so familiar, just a matter of degree. Hell, wait, if MRHB will now take & hold cash money at an honest 0.0%, no cash handling charges, these days thats the best rate in the market ROFL!! Ah ha ha ha ha!! Please do let us know how the Islamic scholars poll about what is the true rate of inflation. Hard to see how much they could loan at zero interest, maybe swaps?
More importantly, we got a way to open the magic of NFT to the incredible universe of Islamic art, the fave of architects and religious scholars around the world. Anyone who has seen the Taj Mahal, even just in a bugs bunny cartoon, knows the world needs honest, pure hearted Islamic NFTs on ERC-20, ERC-721 & ERC-1155 along with their ways to always pay the original artist (which we just learned is already codified copyright law for living artists in euroland!!!)
What other ideals does MRHB offer we the people? We got no gambling! NOICE!!! This is the decade that defined the word degen, as in morally bankrupt meme stonkers getting liquidated while leveraged 100:1 following the twists of perversions & death of price discovery in nearly all markets created by negative real interest rates. If all MRHB is is one actual stand against the whirlwind sweeping globalist expansion of legalized gambling, god bless em right there! Hell is a casino floor around 5:30 AM. Even the big apple in my youth legally banned gambling, and we wish they still did, now everywhere is Reno all the time, with all the concurrent corruption. Personally, daily, we HATE waiting in line to buy coffee whilst some poor deluded lost soul of a degen picks out their meaningless, demonic selection of heavily marketed gambling tickets. IT'S A G D_MN TAX ON THOSE WHO CANNOT DO MATH, you morons/infidels. It took Islam to get the porn magazines off the front of EVERY SINGLE NEWSTAND in NYC, maybe MRHB halal crypto can help us on the gamblers.
What else is MRHB? we got the non custodial wallet, with a list of halal approved crypto - oh man, sorry, we know we are hidebound and medieval, but XRP (and sort of LTC) are chitcoins, and our personal scholarship votes might delay calling them halal.
Dear readers know we have a lot of respect for the serious competition to build price aggregators & liquidity harvesters, that's a tough row to hoe. But hey, this time the coders are on the side of good, let's check it out. We got a charity play system, always a good idea, still shocked by how much americans give to charity compared to euroland, but lookie here wahoo! A good christian tithes 10% of income but a good muslim gives up zakat, a 2.5% wealth tax every year!!!
The governance looks good, good plan to be decentralized.
All in all, that's huge, high, mighty mighty crypto moral ideals rolling out to a target market of two billion. Some heavy hitter Islamic scholars are divided about Bitcoin - e.g. not happy with Satoshi Nakamoto's anonymity. Even the most hardcore negative teacher has to admit MRHB is at least freakin trying.
At the end of the day, what's important here is g-d d-mnit crypto is halal. Socratic example??? Ya know what's not halal? Dear readers know: the almighty petrodollar. It is exploitive against the community to the inconceivable max for uncountable Muslims living in oil-producing regions.
Even skipping the horror of the petrodollar, though--- dear readers will recall Nigeria, 50% Muslim, nearly 100 million souls where in a Kafkaesque nightmare they need dollars bad to buy, say a car or anything on amazon, but can only legally withdraw a insultingly ludicrously minuscule amount of USD per month. Result: Nigeria is now seething with mass crypto adoption, even launching the ( dear readers will recall pure evil) CBDCs. What fiat was Nigeria rocking the last half century? The abysmal Naira, with roots in Sterling. In the seventies, a Naira was worth slightly more than a dollar. Now? try the (crypto-like) sum of .0024 of a dollar per Niara. Yes, do we all know the USD purchasing power lost since the 70's? Try living with the Naira and having dollars moon 500x MORE against you. Merciful god, or rather Sweeeeet Allah yarham. And in all honesty, even that stunning stat does not capture the abuse of the people by the elites popping those official and unofficial exchange rates up and down like a yo-yo.
Wow, just think, what other fiat might the Muslim world burdened with? Let's take a quick lookie - Indonesia is big number one, nearly a quarter billion believers living under the what is it? Indonesian Rupiah, Rp. Going for 4 Rp to one USD when this fiat, born from guilders, was foisted on the presumably unsuspecting people. Now that rupee is dying at wait for it wait for it .00007 USD per Rp. we know our dollar crashed in purchasing power, but it mooned 10,000 x against Indonesians!!??!! Woah our brain can't even handle that one. This journey of discovery's math hurts too much, man this is disgusting! Try a picture:
just TRY to save to take the kids to Disneyland in Rp. We would need log graphs to capture how bad the Rp actually freaking did against the price of Diddneyland Mickey Rat tickets once compounded through the failing dollar post bretton woods. Ape should not kill ape but apparently fiat will kill fiat while curb stomping family lives.
Could this be a pattern? Next up is Pakistan, another 200MM, 95% muslim country, we find the Pakistani rupee. Once pegged 1:1 to the dollar / gold until 1971's bretton woods, the PKR now commands .0057 of a dollar. Oohhhh that's just so much better! The (sadly declining itself) purchasing power of the dollar "only" mooned ~200x versus the Pakistan people. The Bangladesh taka did a bit better than Pakistan- maybe only 100x dollar moon versus the FOLKS OF BANGLADESH.
The point? Even we can’t joke here--- Please people, honest to god, please believe MRHB is halal! (or at least) understand fiat is NOT halal! If y'all can, please believe BTC is halal, if kept in a MRHB custodial halal wallet maybe? Because crypto / MRHB / BTC is the truth, it was made by the people for the people, for the community, it is not a lie, not a gamble, not exploitative. Good crypto is honest - it is not printed in secret! open source open books everybody? Fiat is a giant gamble that has crushed billions of people. The voice and concerns of the people have nothing to do with the manipulations of fiat. Crypto is for the children, my brothers. Satoshi Nakamoto had to be no one so that crypto could be for all. Getting out & away from the fiat used by most muslims is a LOT less risky AND a lot more moral / ethical than staying with the Rupiah. Fiat is a losing gamble foisted on those who don't even know they are gambling! MRHB blessed crypto is the mathematically pure answer, the light unto governments, the only hope for any ability to stop monetary manipulation and abuse of the community for the good of the .000001%!!!
Will $MRHB moon? it kinda should, say it would be their sector's coinrace to lose right now yeah?
Peace, love, and international enlightenment inshallah haibibbie, chagrin for listening,
Dave
