Blockchain believers, we love you!!! Carrying that TORCH man!!! but then again we love the funnies, and the unending Publish0x!!
We had to write this article just to include our favorite, had to laugh overnight to fully realize it!! we now know this: 
TLDR: Sammy PAID the ex CFTC head to be friends with Gary Gensler!!!
LOOKIT the doublespeak here!!! to go THRU THE FRONT DOOR AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Yeah, right. The front door is, you email and call and ask for a meeting. When you HIRE the EX HEAD it's called LOBBYING, special access, super secret private VIP entrance with music and girls throwing rose petals AH HA HAH NOT the front door. Not at ALL!!!!
Even funnier, we REALLY know this from Giancarlo spinning his side to the press. 
AH HA HA "front door, fully disclosed."
Yeah, don't all the self help books and how to win friends & influence people, seven habits of successful people, all that don't they say FIRST pay off the ex leader to get you a meeting with the new leader?? Is that in the Art of War maybe? It might ack shu ally be in Machiavellis' the Prince, OK ah ha ha ha front door. @!$(*& front door!!! Slimebags in action.
We do realize y'all might not realize how funny that is, so as long as we are here what else do we have?
Outside the FT there's wonderful positive crypto news. Stellar, who BROKE our HEARTS, 
& used us like an ashtray heart!!! ARRRRrrrr!!! Stella is now trying to make it up karmically, pumping along with the International Rescue Community IRC to use Stellar end to end to hand out USDC in the war zone. Schweeeeet!!!
What else is good news? it's funny, the FT had Amber dead and buried, but they just raised 300MM!!
But we need BIGGER CRYPTO FUNNIES!! OK!!!
Warmup funnies - Mazar had Binance's PoR audit up on their website, they took it DOWN!!! AH ha ha pretty sure Binance already HAS a copy!!
Trump shilled a big announcement, then pumped baseball card NFTs of himself OMG back of a CEREAL BOX cheezy!!! Funny tho!!
It was pretty funny to hear FTX had a supersecret encrypted Signal group chat called "totally illegal chit." Someone ELSE thought so TOO, and made up a chat with CZ, SBF, Jesse from Kraken, JUSTIN SUN, AND Paolo from Tether!!! entitled exchange monopolistic collusion, or something. Things that never happened for 500 Billion, please Alex ar ar ar arar OOOOOOOO! Jesse has already laughed at it! 
Then some other weird "leaked" story: Paolo from Tether said sammy was nuking USDT, CZ said quit it Sammy or go to jail longer!!! Weird chit. FTX was the PRIMARY source of Terra / Luna SELL orders!!! While pushing FTX clients to KEEP BUYING the newly listed Terra/Luna AH HA HA !!! yer own hedge fund/exchange trading against ya.
Weird theories for the source!!!! Sammy leaked it, he can't STFU. Caroline leaked it! She had access and why not make everyone else look worse AH HA HA HA!!
Dear readers know we are legion, Sammy PLEASE STFU!!!! BEGGING YA!!! can you say Hubris?? we knew you could!!! 
TLDR: delusions of grandeur!!! Hope y'all enjoy jail, Sammy!!! NOT!!!
Dear readers know we find wishful thinking on the part of crypto haters HILARIOUS!!! Viz: 
what, one exchange and one hedge fund nuke, the sector is OUT!!! DREAM ON!!! just like the BIS! one exchange is done, crypto is DEAD YAY!!!! Reading music for the crypto HATERS then!! TLDL. Dream on Beeb!! we are sure y'all will ar ar ar !!!
Where were we?? loads of GOOD news!! 
TLDR but we are looking for FUNNY crypto news.... hmmmm
It IS funny, following in Avalanche's footprints, Sammy bought hisself a MAGAZINE!!! New funny details coming out. 
TLDR: bonus funny, the block CEO first took the Block private!! Then monetized the CHIT outta it but no other investors saw any of THAT AH HA HA HA HA HA!!! Funny biz!!! The investors WERE the WORKERS there!!! They paid 7 million to buy out the 4 million in capital !! ah ha ouch ow. Who is this $##$@$(*& SMUG puppy?? 
TLDR: oh, Mike McCaffery. It's REALLY funny, people maybe learned of a third of the Block money. But the biggest payment AND the payment for the 15mm Bahama shack were still unknown. Some sleuth printed a big list of mystery payments from Almeda / FTX - and THAT's when someone spotted Mikey Block taking the 30MM+ into his LLC shell company!!! AH HA HA HA HA !!!! Slacker, shoulda created a new one NO ONE could spot !!!
TLDR: stupid story but BOOMING unintentional Kool-Aid positive BTC graphix!!! We LOVE it!!!
& we love y'all, cryptonauts!!! but we must snooze.
Peace out, love
Dave
please refer!!! Twitter!!! yada yada thanks so much. Lyrics for the end of crypto winter: you gotta lose to know how to win!!! Fools n sages, baby.
Love,
Dave
