Cypherpunks, we love you!! So good to see y'all here at the underground nightclub of the Publish0x, on the SCENE baby!! 

What a week in crypto!! Rock em sock em robots all the way!!  Changing the crypto fabric of the FT on click at a time, here we GO!!! 

Ahh, can't do it without reading music.  Join us on a obscure German tv show.  We always thought this was "bar room blitz"  lol!!   All right boys, ya ready?? Yeah ya ya ya!!!! Don't laugh, Sweet sold 50 million records back when that meant something!!  Costumes & makeup are Kiss awesome tho yeah yeah yeah yeeeeahhh!! Theres a 1975 german tv station version where the costumes are even better, and the crowd actually tries to dance, and the feeble early drum kit destruction at the end is hilarious!! But Sweet is lip synching, and  lead singer is already cooked by then, we can't look at him.... here he's still lively!!  

OK! ahh man crypto back on the front page that's not goodTLDR: LOOK at that layout for subliminal narrative clues!!!! Ah ha ha ha ha !! To the FT, crypto falling = christmas AND joyous celebration of freedom!!!   It's tradition, get the boot in while crypto is down!  Won't last, spring will just be a month late lol hack.  

That's it, Sammy & pals filed bankruptcy in Delaware for FTX domestic AND international ( OW!!) plus Almeda and 130 other companies.  Rehash, plus it turns out Sammy & pals all lived in a penthouse in the Bahamas ( wtf? live in a beach house THERE, penthouses are for the big city Sammy!!) 

Yowza 100,000 creditors, 10 billion to 50 billion in assets and liabilities!!  Yeehaw, Sammy knocked Alex, D'oh, Sue, Kyle, EVERYBODY's off the biggest idiot perch NOW!!!!  Make way for SAMMY!!! 

Next, the we all laugh at how Sammy went to Washington, influence cheerleader evaporates in Washington - THAT story makes dead trees.  This time all the reghammer threats stand out.  We are still laughing at Chas' manifestly wrong statement that cooperating with the regs is the only way to keep from being eaten!  Sammy WAS devoured, CZ and Su and D'oh not so much.  

The story about Sammy & Sequoia doing circular investments hits print.  We stand by laughing, look at the private equity world!! 

On with the FT diatribe!!! Look, they're trying to make Sammy look like the bad guy, the arch rival, NOT TRUE!! Begin character assassination of the last man left standing is the REAL headline!!TLDR: Nasty caricature says it all!!  Lookit that.  Coins slipping from CZ's hand!!  Eyes too close together, all black shirt, no bilateral symmetry, deformed skull, dehumanizing reflection in the glasses,  says it all!!!!  Makes CZ look like Alfred e. Neumann, that ain't right, it just ain't right.   Note the mottled lizard skin treatment on CZ's neck.  Yeah, we know we sound a little oversensitive, we are not.  Readers heard us rant on this before about Elon's mug painting, that's cuz it's true.  Here, one more time, no gaslighting!!   We know what CZ looks like in real life: AND we know he never dropped a stack of BTC in his LIFE!!!

The FT does a sweet job on Macron, but he's a Ken doll anyway, so hard to tell.  Here is person in the news the new PM in France in real life:

, how does HER "person in the news" painting look?? Oh, my!! LOOKIT THAT BIAS!!!   HAVE a stack of FU's, portrait artist!!!  No reflection in HER glasses!!   Her eyes are widely spaced and huge,  inviting, not at all like her picture ar ar ar ar!  She's BETTER dressed in the portrait!! Her face is MORE symmetrical bla bla bla just sayin.  It just ain't right, CZ.  They made you look like an evil alien from a 1960's superman comic.  We would say at least they did not tinge you Brainiac green but they did go with BTC orange for your skin.  Or is that Binance BLACK N YELLOW BABY !! AH ha ha ha !!

One more this week!!  it's a side splitter!!!  Real life: AND yer pic in the FT if they LIKE you:

At LEAST ya gotta admit, ain't no BTC falling outta CZ's hands!!! Ar ar ar ar !!   FREE The positive imagery of CZ in the FT, #$(#&*.  IT!!  End the pro Nexo news blackout too!!! 

The headline, a massive lie:  Binance's actions led to FTX going bankrupt!!!  STIR that pot, y'all liars!! What, did Binance force Sammy to grab customer assets at FTX and trade them for chitcoins???  

Let's unpack.  Jon from Zerocap in Oz hyperventilates, this is the greatest corporate attack ever!!! Nah, that was Soros raping the pound sterling, ar ar ar !!  Oh wait, lol remember when  George offered to try to save the UK?  We don't CAUSE HE NEVER DID!!!   Compare n contrast. 

Jon's firm must be named Zerocap after the total AUM they have attracted.  Searching for numbers, we could only find a co-marketing effort that Chainalysis paid for, hah.  Zerocap has done a billion dollars in volume for clients  since they started in 2017!!!  Binance does fourteen billion a day, we believe CZ a lot more than Jon. 

CZ was one of the richest men alive till he got cut back to 17 billion, lol.  Binance angels love CZ!  Others whinge cause Binance went down in 2021.  That's a crock, COINBASE went down a lot, Binance almost never did. 

The #$@(*&$##&( N#$@(&#$$(& unnamed sources come in.  Even THEY won't say CZ orchestrated this!   CZ  just seized the day.  We don't see that CZ even did that. 

The FT digs some rando dirt from 2019, texts from employees saying Binance needed to tighten up AML.  Which they have.  Some #$@(#$#$& unnamed former partner ( was it SAMMY, you #$($#&$(!!!!) says Binance resisted throwing HR at compliance issues.  & again, ah ha hah, y'all say that like it's a BAD THING!!!! 

Oh yeah, FT anti crypto narrative bingo time is it?  The CENSURE word is back again!!  More b-tching from unnamed former biz partners - CZ embraced a Machiavellian vision of leadership!!!  Eat a bag full, cowardly source and FT, ya got that backwards!! Machiavelli describes the true vision of (to a large extent, ALL) leadership orgs!!!  

Buried in the end of the story, the FT references a couple of quotes from CZ's internal memo.  Don't call this a win, it WILL paint a bigger bullseye on our back. NOT in the FT: we'll let CZ close out himself: TLDR:  Hell to the yeah, big CZ!!  TALK to the people about that freedom of money baby!!!  What a marvelous thought you are thinking, CZ, it's about, that great, speckled BIRDDDD!!!!!! That bird that stands up for freedom...love it love it love it big Mr. Zhao, CZ to yer team.   Badass to the bone baby, we love you man!!! 

Wait, here's a NEW print story.  No news, just a reprint of a horrible pic of Sammy, trying to detail Almeda. 

TLDR:  Dear readers, we direct your attention to a detail in the graphics porn the FT tries to hustle up!! Graph of FTX, graph o bitcoin, graph of FTX market cap, boring, we've all see it. 

But look at that abuse - and repetition !!! the FT snuck in there TWICE!!  "Tether has remained stable for now!! "  AH HA HA HA HAA !!!! 

%#(#@& y'all, you absolute shameless %#(#(*&%#!!!  Tether withstood a TEN BILLION dollar liquidity run, you SCHMUCKS!!! Tether LOVED this chit!! Tether LIVES for these times!!!! 

 Y'all want to make fun of the TRON stablecoin, USDD!!! It faltered, but all y'all in the FT have Justin Sun on a good news blackout!!  AH HA HA HA can't make fun of USDD cuz ya don't want to mention Justin Sun's NAME!!!! ar ar ar ar oooOOOO!!! Too funny! 

USDT is stable for now.  Gwan, yer mamma's calling ya, go call yer mammie.  TWICE!!!!  Boy, run and HIDE from REAL crypto news you schmooos!!  You print THOSE doomers, right?  When ya SHOULDA printed THIS if y'all are passing comments on stablecoins, NOT in the FT OF COURSE: TLDR:  LOOK at that, FT LOOK at the @#@(&$@!(&  market cap of BUSD!!!! 

OK, we digress.  The story is mostly rehash, but the FT did see a balance sheet and gives up tidbits:  the sheet they had was probably old, but it valued total FTX FTT holdings at 200% of the current market cap, owie zowie.  More rehashes.  

OK YES!!! The WATCH is correct!! NOT in the FT, CZ never said this was a Lehman moment!! All spin & BS from the religious anti-crypto fanatics at places like the FT, death to crypto, inshallah haibibi!!    CZ did not even say it was like 2008!! He just responded to a proclamation from the MC, said, yeah, that's probably right!!!   BFD.  Sick of hearing it!!! 

One small booby prize for crypto - here we see the FT deign to name Justin Sun of TRON for being among those Sammy asked for cash to no avail.  WE WANNA RETRACTION, FT!!  Justin gave 800K!!! Y'all yourSELVES admitted "some currencies" began to flow!!!!  SAY IT y'all mean spirited monkees!! 

There's one smug insult from the FT at the end, here: TLDR:  we at least once did respect Optiver a bit.  But not much, now.  Hey remember when London got to rule the world by setting LIBOR, and now NOONE uses it anymore anywhere, cause the market maker and exchange AND GOVERNMENT corruption thingie happened??  THAT was AWESOME, huh??

Oh, wait, hey remember  the London Metal Exchange, the most major market for nickel in the history of the world, are THEY not a "major exchange?" Cuz they sure as chit rolled over in bed with market maker Tsingshang's Xiang, didn't they??  CANCELLED BILLIONs of dollars in trades for their favorite #1 market maker, would you call THAT a "close affiliation" WOULDJA HUH WOULDJA??  $#@($&#@$(*&$(*$&#@!!!!!  jerk.   And extra FU's for the FT for printing such anti-crypto narrative tripe lies.  

Moving along!! Wow, the FT is ROLLING THE SCORE, baby!! The pain, the pain is very intense!!! TLDR:  the bodies are floating to the surface, FAST, cause it's CRYPTO BABY!!!  Hedge fund Galois was a HERO this year, they were the first to spot the collapse of LUNA!!!! But that was THEN, this is NOW & they just got caught with their pants down inside FTX, with 100MM or so ( half their CAPITAL??? ) locked up on FTX!! 

Wow, say it not yer keys not yer coins!! That's not fair, they probably were just locked up in some arbs they thought. Let's hope.  If they were just lazy, that's sad.  But given they spotted LUNA going down, if it was just laziness to leave capital on FTX, then - cmon - it's REALLY REALLY FUNNY AH HA HA HA HA ha ha !! like poetic justice, bad karma!!!   Or it was just dumbass luck to spot  LUNA, dunno. 

Well, live by the sword, die by the sword, Galois!!!   Also, complete lists of VC's that funded and lost w Sammy are coming out.   It does hurt us to see Orlando Bravo take a nine figure bath, that's a bummer for humanity.   Hopefully he will honey badger down like Genesis, we bet he will. 

Good details in this print story today: TLDR:  boy HOWDY did Sammy get AROUND!!  He RAN 130 companies, but he also invested 5.5 billiion in 500 ( what the ??) other companies??   Almeda put 1.15 Billion into Genesis the miner, ok FU Genesis if FTX still has 100MM of y'alls money!! ohh, CEX's putting big money in miners, that's ALWAYS REALLY BAD NEWS these days!!  Sounds like Alex the Machine now icky!!   Other details - 300 mm in K5 global, and 200 mm in Elon's SpaceX and the Boring company!! But Musk would not invest back with Sammy, nor take his money for Twitter.  OK, this is ALL INSANE, why why WHY WHY????

Seriously, why would a hedge fund plow billions into crypto mining, the returns could NEVER be that good!!??!!? Lordy, Sammy. WTF good does it do to give each other 200MM unless there is some SHADY chit game going on?? 

That's it for print.  Here, online, we got only ONE new story - it's a beaut tho!!

The rumors were flying!! one was watchers saw bucks flow from FTX to NEW wallets ( oh THAT's) shakey AFTER FTX supposedly locked up.  One wallet a sleuth ID'ed as a government trading desk from some island !! When called, a low level FTXer called back and said it was an accident, and the money would be returned!!! & It was!!! OOHHHHHH yeah that's theft.  Now, we get the FT's coverage YAY!!! They'll check & sluff off the rumours, right?  Well, no, they will print Sammy only had 400 million liquid when he had 4 BILLION liquid.  But we can dream!!! 

 TLDR: WOW truth is stranger than fiction! Almost 500 million swiped while FTX locked down!!  TETHER did a hard fork to lock 31.4 mm of stolen USDT!!!! Yippie kai yay!!! 

Livin in the wild wild west!! The CLO announced FTX was hacked.  We bet 100% it was an inside job, lol!! 

Where was the FTX "hack"  announced first??  On TELEGRAM, of course ah ha ha ha ha ha!! 

Well, there's a new sheriff in town!!! ah ha !! John J Ray, the guy who ran Enron's liquidation, is now the CEO of FTX.  Prediction - FTX will start paying him TONS, and he will pay the bankruptcy lawyers (and other FTX execs) TONS AND tons. 

A half billion dollars punted out the door in the last half day is a chit way to start liquidation!!!   Actually a beacon of truth, symbolic of the damage that the legal process will do to investors, just ask Mt. Gox ers!! or wait another year or so, we STILL don't know when they get their bucks back ah ha ha ha !! ouuuuch ow ow ow OW!!! that hurts. 

Woo hoo rode hard n put up wet, fams!!!  We love y'all, gotta slide!! 

Please refer a friend, thanks for being here!! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

peace out, 

love

Dave