Cryptofans you KNOW we love you!! Thanks for being here with the P-funk P-0x!! Making the Overton window safer for crypto to save us from fiat abuse!!
Changing the crypto fabric of the FT one red click on one alt-post at TIME, Watch Army!! Tough going lately, but hey, at least crypto winter is over ar ar ar !!!
Three stories from online yesterday make print, we stand by our jokes.
Today NEW in PRINT!!! well, not NEW mostly, but fresh hell anyway lol 
TLDR: Semi fresh news includes a private air freight to get Amazon drops to the islands. Sweet cheezus, FedEx goes to the island, just not same day you spoiled monkees!!!
The 135mm price ticket for FTX arena is hilarious in hindsight, such a precise valuation!!! 24/7 catering in the Bahamas, lord knows what that costs. 300 million out the door for real estate!!! Full suite of cars, full expense paid trips to any office!!
But the FUNNY parts!! One exec bought four bars in his hometown in Lennox MA, THAT means he's got too much money!!!
FTX left a 55K BAR TAB at Jimmy Buffett's bar!!! that's like what FOUR THOUSAND $13 "who's to blame" margueritas!!! YES BABY YES!!!
Sam Trabbucco quit JUST in time, bought a boat, named it Soak My Decks. Bada BOOOM!!! can't make it up it would NOT be as funny!!!
NEXT!! Dear readers know the things that pass for due diligence these days are clearly running jokes, shaggy dog stories!!
TLDR: we have already laughed at all these big names for giving Sammy and Kyle & Alex BILLIONS without ever seeing audited balance sheets. Well, now add SoFi to that list as well, THAT's news to us!!
One fun detail, Tiger PAID Bain consulting to (NOT) get the due diligence done AH HA HA HA HAH!!! Billable hours, management consultants living the dream. It's funny, stone killers Sequoia apologized but still saying they DID do due diligence AH HA HA!! Sammy played his video game during his pitch !!!! ??!!!!
Sugarfix points out every potential altcoin gem should have a finance guy on the board. The world points out Sammy kept them all the $(#!$*& out of FTX. Did not even allow a real accounting firm to swing by.
Supposedly it's all crypto's fault, competition to give money faster gave rise to hucksters. Easy money is over, maybe now people will insist on audits.
The REAL story: blah blah blah. Say Binance just showed eighty billion liquid. SAY IT SAY IT $#(*&$#(*$& !! YOU!!!
NEXT!! a poison pen letter about a crypto poison pen article!!! Sent in from a lifer regulator: 
TLDR: Kurt never ever ever had a real job, straight from school into writing lies n studies for the gummints. Here, in his pedantic wisdom, his bitterness shows. Crypto is just a pyramid game!! Yeah, right & Satoshi is Bernie Maddoff and Sammy was doing the bribe work for him?? In this day & age it should be ok to say some fiat regimes don't deserve the power. Our boy Kurt would rather perish. It's funny, he is bitter because TRADERS make so much money. As if that is not true for tradfi, only for crypto. STFU, nothing but the rule of the markets ever helped global wealth. Now, with managed markets, the people are suffering from fiat crash n burns.
NEXT OMG we are tired of Sammy spouting lies!! 
TLDR: but hey he got a haircut!!! It's funny, FTX had pop-barbers and massages twice a week, we guess Sammy dodged out. Here Sammy says he ran only FTX, not Almeda. Screaming bullshit, but funny because it conflicts with his other lie - in THAT case, he should have glanced at where his clients funds were every now & then!!
NEXT!! CZ's pulling them screaming high tension wires DOWN!!!! Can we resist the cheezy reading music choice??? Ya KNOW we can't!! TLDR: CZ IS APPROACHING TOKYO!! REPEAT, CZ IS APPROACHING!! 
TLDR: can't open an office in London, but ya CAN buy one in Japan!! The FT is happy because the Tokyo FSA warned Binance twice over the last four years!!! The REAL story: that don't matter no more, this is great news. Still we can't say THAT in the FT, so cue the crypto hate agitprop copypasta.
The REAL story: it's getting sad to watch the FT grovel. Here they reference the Dutch fined Binance, yet don't mention that Binance is GOOD TO GO there NOW!! An old link goes all the way back to last year, says Italy is mad at Binance. Again, does NOT mention Binance is now 100% legit in Italy!! We feel the hate, have a few FU's pal.
OK, trigger warning. We did peewee football, the one where the coach breaks his clipboard over your head and you HOPE yer wearing yer helmet at the time, Coach don't GAF. Chant with our 12 year old selves!! "BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW!!!" Seriously. We have chipped teeth from the ice in ice hockey, which has penalties for flopping all the time, in football you get charged a time out if you fake an injury. We used to bite gin n tonic glasses and dislocate either shoulder as a rugby PARTY trick!! But we know, we are supposed to think this is tough. Is that Skippy the bush kangaroo?? Where are his pads and helmet and why doesn't he plant his feet!! 
TLDR: The ECB is presiding over an economy sinking into depression decade after decade, as real companies flee to Asia or Merica. The ECB takes no prisoners, because they are busy running away!!!
But here, in a strangely worded report, they think they say something. Even the FT AV calls it anti crypto agitprop copypasta. They do give us ONE funny tho: CZ STILL APPROACHING TOKYO DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!! 
TLDR: hey that's bad grammar!! damage to the industry could be enormous once Bitcoin investors will have made further losses. Hey, did his mouth move not in synch with the sounds?? Ah ha ha ha ha!! FU, ECB, tell us about the lo-spread as you control your economies and fiat to death, only a matter of time!!! It's funny, if BTC is not a payment nor investment, then DON"T WORRY ABOUT IT!!!
Always funny to hear the "let it burn" reg cries. That's a funny way to say " we can't stop it anyway!!!" Oh look, it's afraid!!! ar ar ar ar OOOOO!! We note the internet is FOUL with the lies. Ulrich, the author, is pushing CBDCs all day, a 100% conflict of interest. Even funnier, WE notice Ulrich is another thirty year lifer at the ECB, this lying geek never held an honest job one day in his life, all just writing reports for himself to praise.
OK we gotta pass out, we love y'all!! Crypto winter is over, it's over, sing n dance n ring in the new baby!!
Peace out,
love
Dave
please refer someone!!! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
