Distributed Ledger Technologist, we love you!! The future of the world loves you!! Thanks for being here doin crypto on the mighty Pub0x, excelsior!!
Changing the fabric of crypto coverage in the FT one click on one chitpost at a TIME!!
Today: we have white line fever, and somehow again we reviewed today's print version yesterday, wtf? Oh well. Less lit, we notice crypto that dare not speak it's name in the FT. Here's a headline: 
TLDR: vanguard inflows go down by 150 BILLION !!! wow!! It's funny, Vanguard is #2 to Blackrock, a year like that makes them a much further away shrinking #2!! Blackrock is doing fine!!!
The REAL story: never of course in the FT: Vanguard does not offer crypto to their clients. Blackrock DOES. by bye Vanguard, vanguard bye bye.
So, NO new crypto today in print. Online, two articles. One, hating on Ted Cruz cuz he likee crypto: 
TLDR: Alphaville claims they are apolitical, then gives links to them hating on any vaguely conservative politicians.
Here Ted put up a bill asking for vending machines on Capitol Hill to accept crypto, unless they are not cost effective. AV of course not ONLY hates this, they go on to hate on Ted to dare to tweet about visiting a bitcoin miner.
The real crime though!!! The FT reduces Ted's pro crypto stance to a remarkable desperation to tap into crypto bro donations. Well, ya, maybe ok.
THEN !!! Alphaville is FOUL because Lord Hammond lectured them all on adopting crypto in yesterday's FT!!! HERE, AV actually tries to state Lord Hammond is also groveling for crypto donations HEY WAKEUP CALL!!! LORD HAMMOND QUIT yer cheezy house of whatever to go do a REAL job!! IN CRYPTO AH AH AH hah ahh haha ha ha ha ha!!!
That was low, even for AV. The final closing dig - if a vending machine stole your crypto it might prepare the people for crypto exchanges. Well at least that was wait nope still not funny. What did we learn from REGULAR vending machines stealing our money, that the pound sux?? Actually brit vending machines are Uber lame anyway. Maybe ya get a chocolate bar at the train stop. Lo
That's pretty rich. Binance could never get a toehold coming thru the front door due to schmucks like AV. Instead, Brits gave all the taxes on commission to BitMex!!! Ah ha ha & Sammy had the same politics as AV, which is why upper crust Brits lost INTENSE amounts of money to FTX cuz they LOVED Sammy's politics!! While at the same time ignoring British law.
Judges agree, two FUs.
This leaves us with the task of trudging thru the cryptofinance newsletter. We do this so y'all don't have to cuz we LOVE y'all!! Need reading music for this chit tho TLDR: Been thinking Good good things!!! about you!!
OK, lay it on us brothers & sisters, we ride 
TLDR: It's funny, reading the Brit papers, sometimes, just like the royals, they wander off into obvious racism without even realizing it. After all, a short hundred years ago, the Brits were sending out machine gun units to "hammer" the natives a bit more, then going back to be served tea & gin.
Dear readers know the black & blood red nasty subliminals on BTC in the FT are always funny!! Here we are treated to a black ETH!! AND a blackie HAND holding the BTC that the GOOD (white) reghammer hand hits with a hammer!!! Really FT? Is THAT how you see yourselves?? On that OH so tired cliche of whack a mole.
We promise you, no smart hacker is getting paid in BTC for a LONG long time now!!
Rehash and conflate Bizlato, Three Arrows, and cyber thefts by North Korea paying for 30% of the missles!!
The REAL story: for the guy supposed to write about crypto, it's pretty R$Q(&*##(& stupid, wrong and low to conflate CYBER crime with CRYPTO crime. Lazarus did CYBER crime when they hacked Bangladesh Bank for a BILLION dollars over SWIFT, they got away with 100 mm and only got caught on the last 900MM cuz BAD SPELLING AH HA HA HA HA!! But ya know what ?? that was 100% CYBER, actually ZERO percent crypto!!! Lazarus does ransomware, this was big CYBER crime LONG before CRYPTO exisited??? Lazarus got 50 million from Kuwait, stole info from Pfizer to sell - all of that CYBER none of it CRYPTO. Have a big fat FU supposed crypto journo!!!
Here's the attempt at a scary graph- what a FAIL: 
TLDR: hello proofreaders?? We KNOW you KNOW it's a pack of lies, but at least ACT like ya care!!! WE WANNA CORRECTION!!! low effort, lame lame lame have another FU!!
We have a meaningless quote from Allison. in other stories, she says North Korea will continue to exploit crypto until regulatory gaps are addressed. Yeah right. WTF did crypto reghammering have to do with SWIFT getting hacked for a billion!! Or the Kuwait hack, or Pfizer - Ah, but Allison loves the FT narrative. So the FT loves Allie!!
TLDR: we just don't understand why just Allison just had to use the word just over & over here. It's funny tho, we know she knows cut and paste from the ft narrative! she's wrong. Shifting from T-cash to Wasabi is a whole different kettle of fish!! We could argue either side of t-cash morally. Can’t argue with private wallets tho!
Slogging on!! The dutch fined Coinbase chump change 3mm just like they did Binance last year. This is noise.
The FT makes fun of Wendy Rodgers for wanting BTC to be legal tender in Arizona. OK fine whatever. Then they conflate her with a Q anon dude who once asked for BTC political donations. Why not conflate here with Sammy giving millions in FTT donations, FT??
OK we are getting angry. NOT in the FT of freaking course, Binance is rocking out in Brazil. They opened TWO new offices in Rio last quarter, and just announced this: 
TLDR: how about them apples!!! Does this news make the #$($#&#@(*& cryptofinance newsletter??? of COURSE #$(&$#@(*& NOT.
No, instead we get the FT ranting like, wait for it, yeah sounds like Q-ANON!! The FT lists a complaint where a client deposited 100$ in Tether and was asked to pay more than 6,000 in tether to release the 100. Yeah, sure, that happened. THAT'S how you become the worlds biggest exchange is doing THAT to innocents!!! Have yet another TWO matched PAIRS of FU's for this absolute NONSENSE!! In reality, scammers are presenting as Binance & scamming people. Nothing to do with Binance AND THE ##$(*#&#$&(!!!!! FT KNOWS IT!!
Moody's says DeFi might beat CEXs we don't CARE what Moody's sez.
Liz Warren rants against crypto, as usual, proposing unconstitutional bills. Here her rant includes not wanting to trade the integrity of the energy grid for hyped up promises. Liz needs to get off the east coast reservation a bit more. In Texas, BTC miners SAVED the integrity of the grid last summer, financing out a huge capacity build and coordinating selling to the grid instead of taking from the grid for a RECORD great performance!!!
& she AND the #$(#*$&#(& FT KNOW this!!!
Scr-w this bias, we are outta here. Everyone who thinks crypto is not evil is maligned, every clueless crypto critic is revered.
We love y'all, sorry to let the FT's predicable agitprop get to us!
Peace out!! love
DAVE
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