Hey there Publish0xers, we love you.  Thank y'all for being here to push back the boundaries of FT crypto coverage. Maybe y'all are floating up in a tall building  above a city, in any case y'all are probably the only sane person there.  Thank you for clicking thru to join us today and we appreciate y'alls love of crypto and  every bit of crypto given.  We may have offered shaky background music yesterday, we apologize, if we're gonna pollute your ears with love songs, here is the supersonic missile of big love guns.  Live versions are fun, especially Chile and the lyrics one, but the slow starting official vid above is always the best, ya?  Don't worry cause everything is GONNA BE ALLRIGHT. OH!! OH!! OH!!   Thank you, we love you.  Old school old fool love. 

Judges dispute the stack of effs given to the FT's  ETH Merge coverage yesterday.  Judges accuse us of invoking mysticism and evoking a carnival sideshow ethos on the regular. We stand firm, there is plenty ETH 2.0 worth of Beacon / Merge news without talking banhammers. So, sorry, not sorry, we'll #&#(&&(!!! do it again, we've seen us do it. 

The intellectual sorry, thought leadership sprawl that is the FT Weekend, YAY!!  A blurry car ad is a poem to stomping ALL the way down on your lump & feeling the adrenaline rush through oddly specific body parts.  

Crypto !  Crypto that won't say crypto in the FT!! Inflation will hit 13% in UK.  Liz is looking good---making it fashionable to attack the BoE's central bankyness!!??!   Liz the future PM wants to lower tax rates.  She won't actually SAY Laffer curve, sad,  or else the FT didn't print it, but she means it. 

Liz hilariously accuses the Treasury of  "abacus economics" ROFL!  Get widda times B of E!!! ar ar ar ar.    Our "tour guide" once brought an abacus master on our NYU b-school bus and challenged anyone with a calculator.  Very bad move.  We had a Liz with an HP-12 C biz calc six shooter spinning in her hand.  Our Liz had a trading floor tan from doing parlour party trick calcs as traders yelled at her. The abacus lady got wiped even on the later planted questions she knew by heart, just couldn't  slap those beads fast enough.  We and Liz had to stop the non contest.     

CRYPTO crypto.  FT does a BIG story on guess wait for it crypto REGULATION (cue somber doom organ music.) 

TLDR: SEC signaling with crypto Ponzi & insider trading cases.  Charley ex CFTC chief of staff, now at "blockchain" (sic) firm R3 says "in tradfi, these guys are under a microscope." The real q "resonates" are chitcoins securities?   Lawyer Teresa perks up at the thought of insider trading policy work.

The FT asks around: Insider trading policy??   Binance answers, "beholden" to 90 day hold and leaders report trading quarterly.  Coinbase answers: NDAs in place since 2012, formal trading policies in 2018 - SIX YEARs after start. Bitfinex says "appropriate" policies.   FTX, others did not respond!

The turf war is on: SEC Gary running wild. Gary's former haunt, the CFTC calls BS but let's work together.  The bill that could give CFTC jurisdiction will probably fail, but still influential.  Lawyer Peter says the SEC times crackdowns for crypto winters.  Dreaded un named sources say regulatory vacuum causing action.  Charlie, a former gummint lawyer now consulting, urges crypto reghammer actions before the DoJ has to do it. 

The REAL story:  First off, the FT does not even report the REAL real story that the SEC is "probing" Coinbase over unregistered securities charges.  Which is weird/ sinister.    Everyone else has. Coinbase responded in Twitter.   Cheezy 300MM Forsage Ponzi MLM case and cheezier 1.5MM tipster at Coinbase chitcoins as securities lowlife CIVIL case show nothing but Gary at work to grab  turf.   

We call BS on Charlie #1 - Dear readers know Charlie's a crypto hater.  More importantly,  charlie is lying his arse off here.  MLM's are EVERYWHERE, in much more size.  Tradfi "guys" ran BILLION DOLLAR    Ponzi  DC Solar eight freaking years before  Charlie's "microscope" found THEM. Link to the US AG statement below, quit it Charlie, it tickles. Also remains true that  R3's lead product Corda is NOT blockchain. NOT open ledger.  R3 is just sleazily trying to market off the love of blockchain. Or at least spread the FUD.  Charlie gets his ex chief of staff title in print this time,  we agree better title than ex COO at a political swamp, good job little charlie, use your ex titles, we knew you could!!!  

Yes, Street chestnut 25: Nature abhors a vaccum.  Someone will try to do something regulatory.   But as for Charlie #2 the action wanting lawyer?  Could he possibly be a known crypto hater?  This is like martial arts practice, let's check!?!?  Heeeeeeeerrrrreeee's CHARLIE #2: Crypto is money laundering, sanctions evasion.  Gibraltar tries to install a BTC ATM, that's TERRORISM!!!!  RIGHT THERE!!!

Let's try again oh ya here's charlie this is boringo ya ya ya  the death rattles of crypto.    OK Boomer.  What a surprise, random commentator on crypto in the FT just HAPPENS to hate crypto EVERY. SINGLE.  TIME.  ZERO diversity.  We can do this all day, and often morally have to. 

The FT asked all exchanges if they have formal insider trading policy.  That's a fun phone prank to do as the FT, we agree.  Since FTX did not answer AHA!!!!  GOTCHA!  Coinbase answered, NDAs 2012, formal policies in place in 2018, FT SAYS AHA!! GOTCHA!!  SIX YEARS TOO LATE!!  No wonder others blew the FT off... Informal polices at Coinbase probably "if anyone pulls this chit Bob will ax & sue them immediately."  Which is fine.  All those jobs require signing if your character is not good you lose everything plus.   Formal stuff is just money for HR lawyers.

That's a half FU right there.  Moving on...   Judges say we cannot give an FU for not mentioning the SEC unregistered securities probe, we disagree. Judges say we already GAVE source Charlie 1 an FU, plus FU dust for Charla #1's non blockchain company,  what did we EXPECT from source Charlie 2.  We disagree, but we give up a split decision as it WAS good reporting to doom the CFTC jurisdiction bill.  So a low 1.5 FU's for the big crypto spread. 

Hey the Fairfax Retirement goes crypto farming story made the paper!  No pic of Kath in her leathers tho. Typo in the online copy of the print edit.  OK POP QUIZ!! Dear readers remember the ONLINE story mentioned Fairfax has been in crypto for years, despite a 50% hit THIS year they are up 350% overall?  DID THAT FACT MAKE THE HARD COPY VERSION!???!??!  three guesses and the first two don't count pal rofl... Just couldn't spare the ink.  (*#$(#*$& one FU for the editors. 

Big article on scams. Graph has NO crypto but story of course, predictably,  sure does.  Some crypto idiot lost 20 grand to fraudsters on Telegram, then another FIVE to others on Telegram, c'mon, WTF.  We hope it was at least a romance scam !!!!  Half an FU for highlighting crypto scams without ANY stats to back. 

That's the FT weekend watch.  Dog that didn't bark at intimidating SEC probe. Dog of Fairfax crypto bag up 350%??? JUST NOT ALLOWED to bark in print.  Blackrock running USDC's 54 Billion in short term treasury debt dog JUST COULDN'T FIT IN to bark about THOSE crypto related sweet sweet fees.  Kicks at crypto where ever possible, one crypto hate typo.  One sad retread crypto hater quote and one NEW sad crypto hater quote.   Three FU's lobbed in anger.  Return to love. OK OK way too soon for Solana jokes, even love ones.  The dust has cleared, what Patch was done trying to tell us is correct, Slope wallet was blasting cleartext keys over the interweb, WTF.  Mashable link below, Otter Security (yay otter art) sussed it, other experts agree. 

Yay yay yay otters.  You can be sure it will only get better.  Peace out,

this we know for certain, everything gonna be allright,

love, 

Dave