Cyberpunk crypto lovers, we love you! And we're having much more fun together here on the sanctified Publish0x! Bless us all for every ad the 0x serves as we create love for the crypto zeitgeist, shove over the crypto overton window, and laugh our way through the spin! 
It was once ALL horses, ya could hear it in the music. Now, horses for courses, baby, and love for all. Crypto in the Pink Lady today! Hai! Celsius article makes dead trees, looks great!
Happy days in the print version today, Alex the breaking down machine adds another massive fail to the list of massive fails he always had on his website, ow. There's even a front page teaser in glorious colour!!!
We stand by our (judges mention unprecedented) four thank you review of this bad reality tv. We missed a funny, "it was just the dip that took us out, not mismanagement!!" Ah ha ha ha. Yes it was mismanagement 100% all the way, including the ship of fools that are currently paying these lawyers to help spread idiocy like that. The creditor's council should fire them all ASAFP.
Hey the Gemini Winkletoss's are helping to fund a Jurassic Park un extinction Tasmanian tiger event! That's one attaboy fer shure!! 
Recognize good PR, WTH, that's wild.
Lex's urge to Merge col makes print minus the sweet glass chain graphic, sniff sniff. 
We stand by our two thank you's, and the whinge
- don't say "other system" say Beacon. Or ETH Beacon Chain if formal.
Plus when y'all reference Solana, be sure and mention how much Larry Blackrock loves flipping that 50 schweet billion in short term debt, T-bills and T-notes for USDC Circle, now integrated with the Solana chain and the US Gummint.!!! Lol.
Next up online breaking ! Moral Money talks ReFi, Regen Fi. Carbon Markets and Blockchain tryin to keep the coal in the hole and the trees on the planet. 
TLDR: Rehash Chris will reg NFT's. Crypto carbon refi projects live in Brazil and the Congo.
Carbon credits maths are shaky, based on what might otherwise happen. Laying crypto on top is a heady mixture of the tangible and the unreal. Rehash Flowcarbon trying to buy oil rights in the Congo, skip how hard it's going.
In Brazil, Nemus is rolling out NFTs to protect remote territory. Lots of problems, but a good ad. Ownership rights are questioned, illiterates signing deeds?
Deforestation is very bad, so efforts will continue. New Pres Jair refuses to protect a centimeter of indigenous land. Pic NOT in the FT: 
go RegenFI!!! lol
Moss Earth already sells NFTs for land in Brazil, along w/ carbon offsets to Air Brazil. The heart twanging Nemus NFT ad rolls.
Then Danny from CarbonPlan chits all over crypto for a crap crypto FT ending. Enormous amount of silly money sloshing in crypto. Blockchain is a solution looking for a problem, and has nothing to do with land tenure disputes.
The REAL story: Hey, ReFI is cool and cheery enough, at least someone is #(&(%&@# trying!!
Danny makes all his money dunning activity for carbon, so he duns crypto a lot as well. Scr-w Danny, if he were a GOOD non profit he would be HELPING that frothy crypto money to save the planet including carbony credits!! Yeah like carbon credits are real but crypto is not, if we are talking silly money that's laughable.
Next online breaking news!
TLDR: Fallout at Digital Assets with a 1.2bn claim on 3AC. Other staff shuffles as well, with talent coming in from SAC capital. Rehash numbers go down, including headcount at various players.
The REAL story: dear readers know it's funny, WTF was Digital doing under-collateralizing anything with anyone named Kyle.
Last hot breaking FT crypto news today? 
If it bleeds crypto it leads at the FT!!! TLDR: CEO Charlie is staying put, lol, he'll just never touch crypto again. It's very funny, since last October it was all "conviction" for blockchain. Chuck sez teams will be accountable, tho clearly he is not!!!.
The REAL story: nothing to do with crypto really, any schmoo investing in Celsius needed some better accountants than Chuck's team had. Shades of Wirecard fraud with billion dollar holes in the balance sheet. Someone was too busy going to Snoman festivals, eating poutine and frog's legs and drinking cheap mixed wine and whiskey (seriously) 
to DO the great due diligence 
THEY BRAGGED ABOUT LOL!! Now (not in the FT) Chuck sez due diligence is no guarantee of success. Ya, ROFL, LMAO, how would YOU know Chuckles??? Arf ar ar ar ar!!!
And that's it FT crypto lovers!! Wow did we make it without rolling out the team belt fed FU munitions? that's awesome... It's working, the crypto fabric of the FT is glowing, it's growing, cleaner & better... 
ok that fabric still smells like Fiat but give her time, boys n girls. 
Judges AWOL? most excellent.
Peace,
love
Dave
