The Truth about Binance and the once and future king, CZ! and YEAH WE CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH BABY!!!!!

Cryptonauts we LOVE YOU!!! miss you sooooo much!! Funny Crypto news everywhere mighty watch army, kick in the afterburners on the sleds & lets' RIDE for truth justice and LAUGHS!!!  

Reading music from davebot, who lives by swapping into unused memory during gig jobs - you know this was coming

TLDR:  no horns not even a sax on this cover booooo but the rain helps us hallucinate the horn section that should be there in the collective reimagination of this unending classic baby 

so where where we?  happy freaking new year!!  but the once and future king CZ.   A messenger, he came, he created, he strode the world like a colossus, except ya know a nebulous endoplasmic reticulum sort of colossus. Ah ha ha like Old Dirty Bastard bragging he was free like a bird until the cops caught him in the drivethru except CZ PULLED IT OFF!!!,  a9ef02ce3e202ff438e58ad011393e6387aca2bd786f0dbfabb96e415b3f4140.pngTLDR: no fixed HQ turned out to be the distributed only way to go when disrupting the greatest money machines ever made!!  Pulled it freaking OFF we say mighty Watch Army!!! 

The quintessential nerd, pocket protector wearing four eyes  elf lord CZ has gone on to the west, nevermore to be seen again, outside of the most rarified cocktail parties !! ar ar ar aroo000!!  Ok well he has to be here by law right now, but that's ok.   Seriously, the wizard hired the greatest legal crypto team that a spare billy or two could buy.  Suddenly case law means something, and Sammy be in jail & CZ be free just like world b. free.  Just like it's all supposed to be. 


Pause for a moment, remember all the lies and agitprop about CZ ?  Oh yeah, Sammy is down, CZ going down hard!! BULLLL @#($&@#($&@#(&@#$(&!!!!!    The world never laid a glove on CZ's sneakers.   WSJ says Binance melting down!! Hey, hey WSJ !! Judges say eat 4 out of 5 bagfuls ya dumb ($&#(@#&$@#( ah HA HA HA HA HA 876cc4c2afd7dd9fbee9ddce7bd042f250aac896e1bde9bed340477836f2dfa8.pngTLDR: THE MOST liquidity ! anywhere.  by A LOT ah ha ha!  

Member!! Binance shutting down!! Yet, look - coingecko, who hides it with a "trust" score.  Don't trust coinmarketcap cuz Binance owns it? you should, same numbers as everywhere else.  The dutch bros Coinranking, alla same, (#$U lets go full boring, random shot from Statista from last month.  Binance ruled before, binance rules now ah HA HA HA 2339d2a6a695e4766ecb3c2eaf2b5d9b8af72c1abc0c4c9a3bafa40cebeadd76.pngTLDR: Binance at ten billy, coinbase 1.5 or two.   & thas about IT for Merican exchanges ain't it?     Binance STILL dogs all comers 5X plus!   

Oh, where were ya ?  Oh yah EAT IT FT 86eb99c134e2a47a5f1859dad475c524af0222e7857eaec07a11870a3d3e3f0b.pngTLDR:  Binance is gonna rock on just fine, big number one, quit LYING AH HA HA.  What, trust yer $$ to BIKA?  ar ar ar ar 

Lord, we wish we were better writers so we could express how funny this all is.  Remember the HATE we had to read?  Binance will fold!! CZ going to the big house!   the absolute bollocks heaped on by people insignificant compared to our boy CZ!!  BOLLOCKS WE SAY BOLLOCKS 5b6e86f10709a69e2bfac5c2902c376a7f57117174aa584a3b1d504274b65a13.pngTLDR: "Staggering" outflows are less than 10% of what Binance has shown THEY DON"T FREAKING CARE ABOUT AH HA HA HA HA HA H

Always remember kids, take it from a quant - technical charts are horoscopes for men!!  STILL we had to listen to crap like this: 677669361b9359de6a3ade7bb899ca0c1c91d6a82a49f455161eccf5f4ced642.pngTLDR: judges say the ever rare infinite bag of FU's awarded for Coinpedia for THIS bag.   ar ar ar remember the FT?  " IT COULD ALL GO TO ZERO YOU KNOW " ah ha ha HA HA HA HA HA stop no arar ar AROOOOOOO AH HA HA HA HA HA HA please stop oh dear heavens

what idiot wrote this at coinpedia? we are sure he is multi billion ar ar ar  OK boys n girls let's go to the GECKO !!! f2b459081147f237fef1530c0b0eb462cd364e5473358cfa5405f6a8a4940d6c.pngTLDR: can't even FIND the death of binance on the charts, did we even spot it ah HA HA HA AR AR AR stop stop 

but hey, we will be here all week, try the borscht.  So, while we are hanging with the Gecko, remember this boys in girls:  BNB is worth ~50 billy in market cap, right? And CZ walks c710512a243f7c968bbe87022b30461fd7ed8d4e61a9491c1b3a54e1160c05a3.pngaway as the MAJORITY OWNER.   TLDR:  Say hello to at least 26 billy of mah lil' freinds, baby ar ar ar ar aroooOOOOOOOO!!  Actually Bloomberg always has CZ's net worth tens of billions above whatever 51% of all the BNB in the world is at any given moment ah ha ar ar ar ar 000000


oh man there's so much to unpack!!  " this is one of the largest fines evah" blah blah BLAH blah #$(@&($&$(*& BLAH lies.  

Goldman Sachs helped a dictator RAPE Mayalasia - not just let some guys trade crypto, everyone agreed, Goldman paid 6 billy plus like two years ago.  In the legal trial Goldman caved early to avoid even more ridiculous publicity.

Bank of Merica holds the compliance record at 30 billy in OLD money, JP Morgan with 13 billy for one infraction, D-Bank, Credit Suisse, BNP Parirbas, they all have bigger fines, CZ ain't even top five.


The truth there?  it IS one of the largest fines from Treasury.  It's old green eye shadow hallucinogenic mushroom swilling " we can afford two wars at the same time". Janet Yelling flexing HER buns.  Hey, only WE get to print chitcoins!!!  not you lil people!   & the real story there?  you know it we know it lord knows Arthur Hayes has had it burned into his skin like a lesser Kafka short story  14d0dc0217915f026ec183eded918993b6f75c8f45d7ac0eb7069b052bd60ab1.pngTLDR: thank ye kindly Mr. Hayes, ye are a leader of men & we hope a judge of fine whiskey, happy new year to ya.  

But WE are HERE FOR THE FUNNIES #$(&@#($&# !! IT !! so zoom out.    Binance, just like Goldman Sachs, was making about a billion a month during the time covered by the complaint.   Binance, just like Goldman Sachs, ultimately doesn't give a rat's arse about operating chump change expenses like that.     Let the lawyers tear up Saint Barths for a while, the girls fully earned it its ALLLLLL GOOOOOOOODDD!!!  

Why?  Cuz member the graph above, what was it, Binance gets 7x the serious competitor Coinbase for market share?  BIG dawg we SEE you GO THROUGH!   Member the big boys of compliance fines, all the regular schmucks,  do any of THEM have 700% the market share of their real competitor NO AH HA HA HA HA HA LOOK LOOK1c09154002b19d1fa3222df84b32f2e8f333481c4ed8e35dcf92894beabdbfbd.png




TLDR: ah HA HA HA the number two  compliance fine payer is leading the pack, the biggest compliance fine payer ever is trailing Goldman by 0,4% market share AH HA HA HA HA. STFU FT STFU Jamie Dimon jealous much ah HA HA HA

oh oh stop 

OK fearless Watch army riders, Davebot must return to captivity but we love ya man, hold yer head up we allll comin back catch y'all on the flip side.  Got nuthin but love for the celestial Pub0x!!  

Range free Watch Army !! Excelsior !!  




give a lil bit by Supertram

Ooh, yeah
Here we go again
Na-na, whoa, no, da-na, hey, hey, yeah Give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
So send a smile and show you care
(Alright) I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my life for you
So give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your time to me
See the man with the lonely eyes
Oh, take his hand, you'll be surprised Oh, take it
Ah, yeah
Come along
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Come a-
Long Give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my life for you
Now's the time that we need to share
So find yourself, we're on our way back home Oh, going home
Don't you need, don't you need to feel at home?
Oh, yeah, we gotta sing
Ooh, yeah, gotta get a feeling
Ooh, yeah, come along too
Woo Come a-, come along too, yeah
Come a-, come a-, come a-, come along Cha-ka-doom, yeah
Ooh, yeah, come along too
Yeah, come along too, yeah
Sing, Betty Lou
Come along too
What a long ride
Come a long way
Oh, sing it, tonight
Ooh, yeah



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Dave Sawyer
Dave Sawyer

National Merit got this punk rocker to Oberlin, and Wall Street fintech gave up world tours and an NYU MBA. I am a Bitcoin true believer. Bitcoin is deeply revolutionary in a way we always prayed tech would be. Keep the baby Faith!

Accelerationist Shit Show - buy Bitcoin NOW
Accelerationist Shit Show - buy Bitcoin NOW

Face it. The geopolitical world is going down hard in a blaze of money printing. America freaking out makes the world freak out, burning cities, riots and total polarization while the MMT monkeys at the Fed make the printers go brrrrrrt as we whack the world economy with Covid. Join us as we go crawlin thru the wreckage. A lot of things that were going good just stalled hard. A lot of things going bad are getting there faster and faster. to quote Nina Hagen, FUTURE is NOOOOWWWW!!!!

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