Cryptonauts you KNOW we love you!! and we just want y'all to LAUGH our way to a better world!  Riding with your mighty Watch Army here on the unending vistas of the Pub0x!! 

The algo punished us to write more funnies and so we whip out the sextants and compasses - eff that, the off -road GPS - and set our star for crypto humor!! 

What's the big running funny tho - PEPE baby!! ya man, our bag is 4% down under what we got in at including gas fees !!! 

TLDR: lookit that lousy smirking frog!! Grrrrrr can we dump him on Metamask??Ya, 127 bucks to dump 95$ worth of Pepe.  How bout Uniswap's wallet!! TLDR: we could still save 50$, or like 50% on gas fees using Uniswap from the same wallet as Metamask, that's funny!! especially since last time around, Metamask could NOT get er done for any gas fees it would take!!! But still, spend 80 to sell 95 nope can't do it. 

BUT!! we were messing with Kucoin, cuz Cryptonator tells us to get ready for air drops!! 

Instead of doing THAT, we will waste 20 bucks with 5 to 1 leverage on a PEPE perpetual SHORT!! AH HA HA HA HATLDR yea baby!! Lookit, we already lost sixty cents!!! PLUS!! if Pepe recovers not very much, like to .00000241, we get LIQUIDATED AR AR AR !! Well it's kind of a hedge, we like it.  Ya know PEPE will surge, liquidate our arses, and THEN plunge !! but hey, WTF, live n learn.  Mostly live. Hard, cruel hard to learn us !!!   DIVE BOMB ya #$#$((& PEPE we are a SHORT now!!! 

FUNNY crypto news DAVE!!  Well, WE are not the ONLY ones having problems with transactions ar ar ar yeppers even the smart boys at Binance who squeeze the fees got hit!! TLDR: at least when WE stuttered, we did not crash the global market ah ha ha haTLDR: 

seriously tho.  When doing equity derivative "dynamic hedging" trading systems, we included an input called "market impact."  Which was funny, since the size of the trades we were firing were NOT gonna move the massive equity market. 

NOW, now we trade 80$ of PEPE and $(#*&#$)*& UNISWAP says it may have "slippage" ( market impact) of 2-3%.  2-3% on a $100 order!! @#!(!@&!@(*#@!&(*&!!! THAT is some absolute hair triggered front running bunch of chit RIGHT FREAKIN THERE we are like CHEERING FOR GARY THEN for FAIR EXCHANGE RULES!!!! 

we want reading music then TLDR: thanks that's better.  where were we oh ya  WTAF?  C'mon Vitalek!! The gas fees are too $(#*&$ high!! all we all are doing is paying MEV bots to sandwich trade us!! Seriously, WTAF.  Someone should do SOMETHING AH ha ha!!

Vitalek!! where are ye man!!  help us!! TLDR: NO Vitalek!! BAD guru!! Don't just B_TCH about the problem, WE can do THAT!!!  YER supposed to LEAD US TO HELP AR AR AR !@ TLDR: thanks for NUTTIN Vitalek!!  YA SOUND LIKE A FREAKIN NOOB THERE VITALEK PAL!!! ar ar ar ar oo000000!!  And if ya can't fix the gas prices, at least get some dermatology help man, you can afford it, it would make US all feel a LOT better... 

Meanwhile, back in the PEPE slow motion train wreck, our PEPE coin is biting the radish!! Just like PVM & Yugocean & everyone tried to tell us!! 

Down under 75$ !!! WHen we paid 100 to get 80!! TLDR:  BUT BUT BUT The duration of our PEPE short hedge is matching up perfectly!!  We look like geniuses!!

Actually, we had 40$ lying around in Kucoin, so we spend 20 on 5X short leverage on pepe - but we look smart just like Cryptonator TLDR: yeah UP 25 bucks in unrealized P & L !! Yahoo!! ha ha ha it would be best for us if PEPE goes to ZERO then we would get our 100$ back !! we think??  Dive you craven coin! TANK!! HIT THE DECK we say ha ha ha!! 

Bigger more positive crypto news funnies!! Hey we just got LIchtenstien!! TLDR: as Yanks, we can't find Liechtenstein on a map, we can't spell it nor Vaduz.  But it's a country, right?? yeahhhhh baby the world is yours the world is mind!!  The world is BTC. 

Meanwhile, back at the FED ranch TLDR: what's really funny?? headlines like these 

TLDR: ya it's the other way around, pal.  Besides Ted did not say it WOULD happen, Ted said CBDCs are DESIGNED to destroy all the value of BTC.  Dear readers member us all laughing when Jerome said a US CBDC would send bitcoin's price to zero ah HA HA HA HA HA HA!! STOP!! AH HA HA!! 

But let's talk about the REALLY REALLY important issues in today's world! TLDR :  The Fed lied about inflation, printed trillions, gave them all to covid & shutting down the world, printed trillions to give to  Ukraine, printed trillions more, now the petrodollar is broken as the chickens come home to roost.   But the IMPORTANT part?  Janet's rocking that greenish blue EYESHADE AH HA HA HA HA!!   

The 1970's are calling, Janet, they want their EYESHADE COLORS BACK!!!  ar r ar aroo000000!!

Plz please just don't blow smoke in our face while wearing that eyeshade Janet baby!!   Ukraine : 100 trillion.  Covid: 100 trillion. Wreck the petrodollar: even more.  GREEN EYESHADE WHILE YA DO IT PRICELESSS AH HA HA HA HA HATLDR: our monetary management is like a bad installment in the Mockingbird / Girl on fire series ar er ar ar ooo0000!!! 

OK we gotta hop!  Thanks for your service in laughing for the future!! Take facist care of yourselves and those around you!! Your watch army loves you.  Excelsior!! 

Please recruit another to the watch army.  Thanking you so much. 

Peace out, 

love
Dave 

follow us we will follow you!! @davidsawyer