Blow dart syringes. Photo taken from Dan-inject.com

D.C — Dr. Fauci is working with the CDC on a program to administer blow-dart syringes with doses of the Moderna and Pfizer vaccines, he announced at a White House press briefing.

“This method of administration is instantaneous, keeps both the patient and nurses at a safe distance, and drastically increases the number of possible vaccinations per hour,” Dr. Fauci told the press.

When asked about the efficacy of administering vaccine doses via ancient weaponry, Dr. Fauci assures that this method is safe.

“Scientists have administered drugs to animals using blow darts for decades now. It’s a tried-and-true method in biological research, so we have no doubts it will translate well to humans. If you have ever seen Indiana Jones, it is much like the blowguns the cemetery guards used except it is a vaccine dose instead of poison. [Dr. Fauci chuckles] We have no skulls to protect so there is no poison in these darts.”

Depending on this program’s success, the CDC is also considering hiring professional hunters to administer vaccine doses via rifles and arrows.