Snarls hide behind a funny face,
Sharp as knives that carve out lovers' hearts.
Peace is but a victim of his chase,
Death is just another of his arts.
Splinter - Mortis, the Death Splinter
Set - Alpha/Beta
Class - Dark Bodyguard
Size - The Twisted Jester is very thin, standing nearly twice the height of an average man. In spite of being so tall, he is incredibly surefooted and not the slightest bit clumsy or awkward. He can easily hide behind things and has an uncanny ability to fade into shadows to seem invisible. His long legs allow him to slip around very quickly and quietly, even in the open Arena battlefield at Mount Mox, coming up behind his enemies and flinging knives into their backs.
Lifespan - As long as he is still tortured by grief from the events of his former life, the Twisted Jester will never be able to move forward in the great dark cycle. He will never be able to take on his next Dark Eternal form unless he can release the bitter memory of his past tragedy. He has lived for hundreds of Splinter years as this dark reflection of twisted mockery, and in this form he will continue until he finally comes to terms with mistakes from his living days.
Habitat - As the head of the Personal Guard for the Lord of Darkness, the Twisted Jester has quarters within the Shrouded Palace at the center of Utopin. His room is comfortable and well-furnished, but the Jester has never desired comfort. Although there are several soft chairs, he spends the majority of his leisure time lying on the cold black marble floor. There is a door in his room that grants him exclusive access to a network of secret tunnels. These tunnels can get the Twisted Jester nearly anywhere in the city at a moment’s notice, and knowledge of their existence is reserved for only the most important members of the Dark Lord’s guard.
Weapon - The Twisted Jester loves knives more than a common Dark Eternal is technically permitted to love anything. When he thinks no one is looking, he can be found flirting, bantering and giggling with his blades as if they are alive. When in battle or on guard, the Jester does not carry his knives openly, but conceals them in the many folds of his baggy pants. From there they can be retrieved in the blink of an eye and thrown with deadly accuracy at any enemy.
Diet - On what does the Twisted Jester feed? Being a Dark Eternal, he has no need for food. The Twisted Jester eats rage, devours revenge and consumes deception. On these meals he is extremely well fed.
Allies - As the captain of his bodyguard, the Twisted Jester is one of the closest confidants of the Lord of Darkness. He follows every one of the Dark Lord’s orders and goes along with all his schemes and ideas without question. Still, rumors around Utopin suggest that the Jester’s true allegiance belongs to the Dark Enchantress, the Dark Lord’s queen. In his bouts of hysterical madness, the Jester is unable to hide the fact that she reminds him of his lost love from a former and fading life. Even though the Dark Lord has noticed these affections toward his queen, he is not jealous. He knows that the Twisted Jester is forever broken and will always do his bidding.
Enemies - The Twisted Jester has a distaste for not only the living, but the happy living. He is especially enraged by Lyverians and their colonists who inhabit the Mortis city of Beluroc. They tend to live in happy, monogamous couples; the Jester hates them for their love. After a gruesome event now known as the love day massacre, the Jester is no longer permitted to accompany the Dark Lord to the Moxian tournament grounds in Praetoria. On that day the Twisted Jester slaughtered 18 innocent spectators (9 couples), who were celebrating recent marriage by visiting the tournaments as was the Lyverian tradition. Rather than imprisoning the Dark Lord’s lead bodyguard for his crimes and causing a Dark Eternal uprising, the Gloridax masters simply barred his physical attendance from all future tournaments.
Pastimes - The Twisted Jester rarely has time for leisure, with all his administrative and protective duties. His one hobby (and the only thing that still makes him laugh out loud) is standing atop the city walls of Utopin and lobbing large blades at approaching Animated Corpses from the Southern Waste.
Cardia's Rebirth: A TCG Story
Once upon a time in the land of Cardia, players of trading card games owned their cards. They saved their gold, then journeyed to enchanted places called comic book stores where they could exchange that gold for shiny packs of cards, some of which contained the rarest collectible gems in the land. Those cards were theirs to treasure and to cherish.
The players would come to gather in great and joyous fellowship, playing games and spending hour after hour admiring each other's cards and trading strategies. If perchance they could meet another who desired the same cards and had the right amount of gold in their purse, a player could even sell those cards, using the gold as proceeds to enhance their own collection and giving themselves a chance to be more victorious in the game.
One dark day, digital conquerors came to the land, great corporations that waged war on the enchanted comic book stores and the trading cards they sold. The created digital versions of the same cards that were once physical items, wrapped them in mesmerizing animations, pomp and frills, and set about selling these cards outside the physical realm. They implied that "ownership" of these new digital cards was no different than ownership of the old days, and many of us were fools to believe them.
One by one, the comic book stores fell as corporations seized power and turned our beloved trading card games into money machines for their boards and CEOs. They made us spend our gold continually on new editions and expansions while piling terms upon us. These terms forbade the trading or selling of the cards, and they boasted the corporation's right to print as many as they'd like, always enhancing their profit and reducing their value. And worst of all, if a player wanted to stop playing a game, they would lose everything for which they had toiled and spent their gold.
Then one day when all hope seemed lost and Cardia was barren and gray, a hero named Splinterlands arrived. Wielding the great sword of blockchain, Splinterlands promised to return ownership and power over digital trading cards to the players. And Splinterlands rode throughout the land, empowering players to own their gaming experience and earn with every win. As more players of Cardia realized the potential of playing to earn, they pledged fealty to the great sword of blockchain. They became free, and in every town and village, these players set out spreading the word. Soon, this revolution would ring out like thunder through the mountains and valleys, and never again would the corporations control our destiny as players.
Join the TCG revolution by learning what it means to truly own your cards with Splinterlands.
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