If there's one thing that I find funnier than actual religious scripture, it's mockery of said scripture. So, let's have a look at an extract from The Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, from Monty Python's The Holy Grail:

"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas."

I have been told that jellied fruit bat is a wonderful delicacy. I can't say I've ever tried it and I doubt I will. The idea of eating sloths, orangutangs and/or fruit bats just doesn't appeal to me. I suppose needs must in some places, since people eat all sorts of questionable things (including dogs, guinea pigs and rats), in certain parts of the world and apparently quite enjoy them, but I'll pass on those items, thank you very much. (I don't even know what a chulapa is, nor how much meat is on one, big or small.) Technically, I could. (The fact that HCAPTCHAS that prompt "click on something you can eat" almost invariably contains at least one photo of a small dog and/or cat concerns/perturbs me somewhat, given that I work with dogs and part of my job entails stopping the small ones from escaping their kennels and running into those of bigger ones that will likely chomp them at feeding time. Cats are smart, though, since they climb fences and shelves and get onto roofs if anything threatens them. I don't care how much of a smooth lady-killer you claim to be; you're unlikely to eat as much pussy as you claim, even if you're ALF the alien ...) I hope I never get so desperate for food/meat as to change my mind on that.

ALF eats gourmet cats, apparently ...

Besides, the eating of sloths and fruit bats (etc.) I suppose, is one thing, but eating of those things whilst in bed is where I draw the line, on crackers or not. I think that's fair enough, since eating meat (and dairy products too) in bed is probably not a good idea, particularly if you spill some on your sheets or other bedding. Who needs the trouble of cleaning up that mess?

I also don't think it's right to eat sentient creatures, somehow. That includes primates and Cephalopoda, so no orangutans or octopodes on the menu for me, thank you.

This random nonsense has been brought to you by the fact of my having a late lunch and having recently read a lot of faked/mocking scripture (including the entirety of The Book of Armaments, Chapter 2 on the Monty Python wiki). Besides, I've set myself the challenge of having to write a post a day. I've got to fill them with something, even if it doesn't make much sense.

Thumbnail image: King Arthur and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch