Bienvenidos mis ositos, tu siempre eres mis queridos! (Welcome back little bears you are always my dears!)

Rejoice crypto degens and peasants!

Bitcoin has broken the $30,000 level and Ethereum has reached $2,000 again.

Are the good times back or will the bears start dumping? Will scumbags rug pull us yet again?l?

Who knows?

To help answer that question let’s take a trip back in time to the waning years of the Dark Ages.

Lord Panda: What is the meaning of this?

I wanted to celebrate with sumptuous strumpets. Why did you bring me a hag and a rotund wench with a unibrow???

Court Jester Troll: Me Lord, the hag in question is my grandmother and the wench is my wife! This is the best I could do on such short notice.

Lord Panda: Meh, perhaps a trip to the town square is in order!

Troll’s Granny: But Me Lord I’ve already unlocked my chastity belt!

Lord Panda & Court Jester Troll: AAGH!

Lord Panda: Make haste Troll before I lose my appetite!

Court Jester Troll: BUUUUUT Lord Panda what is the reason for this festive trip?

Lord Panda: I sold some of my tulips to some foolish speculators for a handsome price!

I made a killing in schilling!

Court Jester Troll: How will you celebrate Me Lord?

Lord Panda: I have a large appetite for food, drink, and ravishing strumpets!

Court Jester Troll: But Me Lord aren’t you afraid this will take a toll on your health?

Lord Panda: Nonsense I have a royal decree that allows for excessive Fornication Under Consent of King!

Court Jester Troll: Me Lord why is it so crowded around the arena?

Lord Panda: It seems the peasants are excited for the jousting event between Sir Schiff vs Sir Kaiser

They have similar thoughts on the follies of government but disagree on what money to use.

Court Jester Troll: Look Me Lord there is an unruly mob with pitchforks and torches!

Lord Panda: Ah! They must be here to see the public execution of the charlatans from the FTX gambling parlor! Samuel Bankman and other swindlers were convicted of false alchemy of precious metals.

He cheated the peasants out of their meager earnings!

Off with their heads!!!

Not only do you have to watch out for “regular” knaves and scoundrels, you have to worry about which money to use!

Different things compete for the right to be money. Do you use shiny metals or do you use vouchers from the local baker or cobbler?

The modern crypto industry resembles medieval fiefdoms.

You have crypto serfs swearing fealty to different vassals.

The times has changed but our nature have not.

Maximalists shilling their brand of money every chance they get.

They throw around funny terms like byzantine fault tolerance, meanwhile we’re trying to forget the Byzantine Empire.

As we prepare to have a good time at Ye Olde Tavern…

We encounter Baron Saylor – an eccentric and loquacious gentleman who enjoys talking about Bit-O-Coin, it’s basically a pot of gold dipped in honey protected by hornets.

“There is no second best!” he shouts to the masses.

Then in the dimly lit corner you can see schemers…

Overly entitled (and maybe corrupt) “nobles” like Baroness Warren and Duke Gensler wondering “Where are my tributes?”

They enjoy abusing their powers and keeping the masses from choosing their own money.

They are not fit to even empty my chamber pot!

Sadly the aristocrats will always have power over the plebs.

Every generation should study the history of monetary collapse, but humans will always fall for the same scams over and over again.

But stay positive, a new crypto Renaissance could be emerging!

BWAHAHA Watch modern day Gensler dodge and squirm before a recent Congressional grilling

Obviously none of this is formal financial or tax advice. You need to find qualified professionals in your jurisdiction.

Be sharp, stay hungry let’s get that money!