Crypto people, we love you! The future loves you, and thanks you for your service in the great crypto meme wars of the early 21st century. With a ribbon for hanging on the rock star Publish0x!!!
Today's crypto in the FT weekend!
Crypto that won't say crypto: The UK's fiat abuse leads to vulture fund Apollo Global snarfing up OVER A BILLION bucks worth of everything the UK pension funds held. Where does that fiat folly come from really? Straight out of pensioner Joe Bloggs pocket, baby!!
Always a joy to read an international paper, we never see world news in Merica to speak of!! This good man passed, Dr. Dillip: 
Dr. Dillip was faced with fugees fleeing war dying en masse. Before him, doctors only treated bad dehydration with IV saline. Dilip made the world instead give a bag of marathon energy goo / Gatorade to save INNUMERABLE lives. Is that crypto? It IS a now widely spread intelligent technique that is saving lives as we speak....
Coinbase attack #1--- or was it #2?? makes dead trees. The real grown up day print editors stepped in, and found an unused picture. Plus they clipped the meaningless BTC babble hate from meaningless Chas, a rando MD at NOT BLOCKCHAIN company R3. Thanks, adult supervision!!! 
TLDR: This groundhog day coinbase slag is even funnier today! Cuz the REAL story is Binance eating the WORLD, 5x Coinbase anyhooo!!! Stocks what stocks?? BNB pays all kinda dividends!!! BNB has MOONED 50% UP since June!!! Meanwhile death to crypto inshallah FT diatribe says no volatility, no volume. Whatever, that's because yer not covering the real stories!!
TBF, reading Coinbase attack #1 (or 2?) this time, the red mist of rage made us miss one good point. The good Blackrock news is in the LAST paragraph, of course!! Next to last: assets on Coinbase rose by five billion last quarter, pushing over 100 billion assets on Coinbase, yes baby yes!!
Well, what about anti-crypto rag #2? It makes dead trees TOO!! the print eds solved the problem by using NO picture!! Oohhh, icky, the daytime editors fix some things, but the headline editors HATE CRYPTO, lookit THIS teaser: 
. Oh yeah. That's a BLIGHT. AUM up 5%, just too high expenses, and who cares?
We stand by our laughter here. The Blackrock news is in the NEXT to last paragraph. Lex this time goes a bit easier on the FT anti-crypto bingo game copypasta! Not much, ($&#(#$&ers, we note that at this moment ETH is only 66.5% down from the ATH, that rounds to 65 not 70, dogs!!! We are WATCHING YOU!!! Thankful for small favours, like no Chas quotes.
Cause it IS LEX, they obsess with the sweet cash flow Coinbase is sharing with USDC from flipping short term T-bills like the gummint wants.
Get with the times, market rulers LEX!!! Lissen here - what's Coinburps market cap, 13 billion?? WHO GIVES A FLYING HOOT. BNB has FIFTY SEVEN BILLION in market cap!!!! DO y'all hear the WORDS coming outta our mouth??!!??! Crypto don't care about the biggest LISTED crypto company, that's deadnaming REAL money ar ar ar ar ar ooooOOOOOOOO!!!!! 
Let's play fix that headline!!! The world's largest exchange ( EFF that "listed " cheesecake chit) PUMPS 20% in BNB!! Binance's volumes DWARF Coinbase, Kraken and Huboi ALL PUT together!!! Have some FU's, FT. All y'all.
So that's it for print crypto. Tradfi corruption, NOT in the FT, a Merican military audit finds a BILLION missing, the army stonewalls the auditors!! WHooo that's ugly. And inflationary, LOL.
For their part the FT prints a gung ho ex UK military brass letter. Uber war innovator general is 100% sure that Russia blew the pipeline AND cut the Shetland internet and WHEN WILL RISHI PRINT FIAT TO BUY MORE SUBMARINES!!!! Go war machine. Just kidding, should never say that. Starve for fiat, war machine!! For THEIR part, the Russians say that the Brits blew the pipeline and ( Russians and dear readers remember kids, kick when they are DOWN lol) that Liz knew it!! We never even considered that might be true until we read the major general's instructions for funds the FT so proudly printed.
Funny oped from editor Brendan. 
TLDR: sad but true!! Dear readers know we agree that unless the Taylor rule is observed, it IS all just hoping to get lucky raising the prime but inflation is still 5x the prime instead of Taylor rule 0.8X. Online?? Please? Not a freaking drop. An unending desert of no refreshing crypto news, we just don't believe it!! Matic ripped almost 30% in the last week!! Total market cap is 10% up and OVER a trillion!! Where are the "CRYPTO WINTER IS OVER" headlines from y'all, FT??? We wanna correction!!!
We love y'all crypto kinfolk!! Thanks for hanging!! Y'all and the algo seem like y'all would rather have funnies, so here we go, wish us godspeed!!!
Hey, it took us the whole article, but we figured out the reading music for this agitprop!! Member?
It's the same old story
Same old song and dance, my friend
It's the same old story, same old story
Same old song and dance
ah man.
Please refer a friend!! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
oh yea we wanted an excuse to print this beauty, but instead we just had to take it out of context completely:
The FT is chitty for crypto, but such a lovely paper!!! Understand cubism!! they say:
Whoa, our brain sez!!
Peace out, looking for fun crypto FREEE!! FREEE we tell you!!
love,
Dave
please refer a friend thanks!!! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
