Dear crypto lovers: we love you!! Thank you for your fiat superior ways, rocking up on the boss Publish0x to push humanity to a higher ground. And loving it!! The Red Hot Chili Peppers were a band we never really cared about - until we saw them live!!!
The print FT - the pink lady is regal as always. Kwasi is killing the bonus cap. Critics are calling it the Big Bung 2.0!!
The new heath minister don't look too healthy!! She fouled out her staff, sending out messages to "be positive' (OK) and to NEVER USE THE OXFORD COMMA!!! Lol!! Holy misdirected resources, health lady!! The Oxford comma is the last one in a list, right before the and (or not.). We love apples, oranges and bananas, or is it apples, oranges, and bananas. The AP style manual says don't use it, others say on a case by case basis, we say institutional corporate bloated bureaucrats rearranging the deck chairs.
Speaking of tradfi corruption, Interpol caught (more) of the Irish Kinahan gang, now in Dubai. The Kinahan's were laundering 350,000 per DAY, with a fake front vodka company, boxers, and special cars with hidden cash compartments.
World bank forecasts recession from rate hikes. US senate passes a bill to keep on printing fiat to give to the war machine for Taiwan this time. China prints money to buy land to bail out cities. China is giving up on raising rates as well.
Dick's take on the merge makes dead trees today, we stand by our affront from yesterday. Thanks for nothing, Dick. Either Web3 is a 200billion market and therefore too risky to change or there is no reason for Web3, pick one, quit with the whipsawing. The horrible Hobson's dilemma painted is bad enough without piling on internal contradictions. Dick.
The other positive Merge story makes print, we should have given it formal thank yous!
That's it for print - online?
TLDR: Lex weighs in on the Merge. Will reduce energy by more than 99 % (thanks.) ETH is up 50% from this years low but crypto winter has not broken. Fees are still high, ETH is still slow.
Proof of stake gives $$ to those who have ETH, minimum of 48K / 32 ETH to stake. Can't be withdrawn for maybe a year.
The real news to Lex is EDX, a new exchanges backed by Fidelity, Citadel, & Schwab (OMG we used the Oxford comma, sorry health lady!! ) This will affect crypto prices more than the Merge!!
The REAL story: A rehash of same old same old FT thoughts by Lex this time. We don't know why people pretend the 32 ETH minimum is touted like a big deal, various pools are available to work around any situation. EDX is the news, a consortium really!!
One last hit online YAY!! It's the Friday cryptofinance newsletter!!
TLDR: Coinbase drops an app that rates Congress on their pro crypto ness!! Brian also announced someday Coinbase wants to enable crypto fund raising direct to pols. The FT plotzes - didn't Coinbase just say no politics at work? Brian says that was no politics UNRELATED TO THEIR CRYPTO MISSION.
FT won't let it go - making employees work towards corporate political goals is SO UNUSUAL !!
Disdain for Washington is a feature of crypto culture!! But crypto lobbyists are exploding, led by Coinbase, Ripple, and BlockChain association.
The CFTC looks like it is winning the war to become lead crypto reghammer.
The REAL story: Yay for Brian calling pols on their crypto stances!! The mouse strikes back part two!! lawsuits AND lobbyists!! Carrot AND stick - for the big boys!! Good luck big Brian.
Absolute #%(@#&*%#@(*&!! BULLSH-T that it is unusual for companies to force political actions on employees. From personal observation - we and co-workers at Citi all got letters from Sandy Weil, followed up with accounting & checklists - we had to sign a letter that stated Glass-Steagall must be repealed!! And ya know what ? We believed Chinese walls SHOULD exist - but under pressure, we signed that letter anyway, Citi & Sandy were hardasses to anyone with a title above newbie. So STFU about how unusual that is, doesn't even touch the scale of what Citi did!!! Have a FU!!
Other stories: not much. Coinbase low level insider trading scam has one brother cop a plea. Rehash of D'oh's formal arrest warrant. Basel is trying to make regs so banks can hold crypto for clients.
A real story: EDX markets is born from Citadel, Schwab, and Fidelity, the newsletter also tags Virtu.
A bit of Merge coverage, with a nasty dig - one less excuse if ETH doesn't work out!! A rehash of cheezy ETH price actions and trades and zillions in expired, out of the money options.
The REAL story: Overall, not a tremendous effort, kinda mailed in, kept that nasty FT anti crypto narrative alive as a top priority!! Plugs for "future of money" which is boring. Have a FU for that meaningless, just mean ETH dig.
But nothing but LOVE for y'all crypto kins!! 
Peace,
Love
Dave
