Crypto kinfolk, we love you! Thanks for gracing us with your presence. We love you, and love rejoices with the truth - mankind is better off with the Promethean fire that is crypto. Hey we love the algo - for a nanosecond, the almighty everlovin unstoppable Publish0x lights US up so we can hang out with Y'ALL!!!!! Loving every second of it. What a gorgeous summer!!
Changing the metaphysical pinkness of crypto in the FT, all only for the better.
Today is a fun day, Davey!! The Mooch runs his motor mouth!! 
TLDR: FTX picks up 30% of Skybridge plus an option to buy for an undisclosed amount. Deal includes 40mm of crypto for the Mooch to hold.
The REAL story: two thank yous, maybe more FT yay for a hilarious story!! Sammy Fried's bail out of Skybridge was classy. Until the attention whore that is the Mooch crawled back up for HIS twenty seconds more of sweet FAME!! Ugly, humiliating clawing for fame!!!
The Mooch claims Sammy proved Skybridge had a long term future. OK great! Then he bizarrely says "if you have 50mm liquid assets, people don't think yer going outta business." What? "Skybridge is set up for the next 20 or 30 years." WHA WHAT?? No, THAT's not true Moochy!! B-school mama don't give NOBODY no 30 year plan like THAT!!
Now we think the Mooch is about out of biz and has no future. Well, hmmmm. 2.8 billion Skybridge is down 25% for 2022, the one crypto flavored fund is down 50% and locked up withdrawals. Moochie's moment of fame could be fleeting.
The Mooch verbally abuses himself and his dealings on down the shameful hill. He states if the market was better he would never do this deal. Pure class there, we can tell.
"We didn't need Sam's money to run the business." OH STOP mooch STFU !! Now we all KNOW you needed Sam's money to keep the doors open!!
The world turns away, kind of in disgust. If only the Mooch had, just, not had any press conference at all, That would have been MUCH better!! ROFL
The Mooch calls us all back!! Lookit lookit I gotta JibJab meme of ME!!!! ME!!!! 
Oh baby this just gets better and better!! AS IF we needed confirmation that Skybridge was facing an existentialist threat, HERE is the Mooch's pretty pic UNCROPPED AH HA HA HA
The Post, the world's greatest tabloid, piles on the gory but very funny details. Some conflicting:
The FLAGSHIP Skybridge fund is 2 billion AUM and is facing 900MM in withdrawals!!! ALSO the crypto fund Legion has locked up, unclear for how long!!
Wow, the Post says Skybridge CIO Ray sez they have 12% of SEVEN BILLION in BTC. They think BTC will hit 100k! OH NO, the Mooch has passed out copies of his book, The Sweet Life with Bitcoin. OMG the kiss of death, that's it, we're doomed, run to ETH. Is that really REAL?? 
Oh, sad day, it is. Or VERY FUNNY!!!!
The huge spread on the Merge we hated on yesterday makes it into dead trees, yay!! But here we see the clever headline editors hard at work. instead of 
which is what we were jarred with in the ONLINE version, the REAL editors give us this balanced value prop: Look, they even said "historic"!! 
In the ONLINE version yesterday, we had to read down to the tenth paragraph past two pictures to find the word "historic." By that time we missed it cause we were seeing RED!!! H-ll that would have knocked three FU's off the board yesterday if only we had services of the the high quality eds maintaining that crucial illusion of balance. That and the illusion of freedom are just SO important don't we think???
In other FT that won't say crypto, Kwasi says "grow baby grow." Liz maybe is drill baby drill? Time to update the "abacus economics" thing that Liz called Treasury!! Cut taxes, keep corporate taxes low!! What WILL he say bout crypto?? The funny part is clearly Liz & Kwasi BELIEVE in the Laffer curve - where lowering taxes stimulates growth and increases compliance to actually RAISE TAX REVENUE through less taxes!! C'mon, Kwasi, say Laffer curve, say it it's OK it's a Nobel prize thing SAY IT!!!
Indonesia thinks they will join India and China in ignoring sanctions and buying Russian oil. Isn't there some way they can blame crypo, lol.
The Twitter whistleblower is funny, mad cuz Twitter didn't fix security holes. He sounds like a bitter security guy idiot, but Twitter did pay him 7MM, so? We had a friend, an INSANE bitter security guy who got mad the Fortune 50 CAO would not address his security issues. Our pal used his secret powers to obtain every bit of dirt he could about the CAO. Mostly critical emails sent in private to others, then SENT TO EVERY PERSON IN THE FIRM as our friend flamed out. Ruined a few careers. What a nutter. Had probably the nicest home stereo we ever heard, blasting Madonna as you do to show off your cross-overs and imaging. In an overpriced downtown rental with high ceilings, his pet gerbils had ripped the wall fabric loose from the walls to hide behind.
Let's hope Elon's whistleblower is of higher quality, but we doubt it.
Peace,
Love
Dave
