Crypto people we love you!! How are ye keeping? ARE YE ALLRIGHT??? as they love to shout around here, it's great, ya have to say YES! lol.
We love meeting y'all crypto kin here on the super skyscraper of the Publish0x!! A tower so mighty everyone around uses it for telecoms!! 
Crypto in the FT! Y'all and the algo seem to be saying light n lively, & only the FUNNY writers make it. But we want to stick with our bias & whinging for crypto's side for counterbalancing; Wahooo!! Reading music: in honor of Sugarfix, this is the BEST Gogol Bordello gypsy punk (rocky) love-ish song!!!
FT highbrow vocabulary alert: now discussing the denotations of the word "febrile." Plus merican vs brit connotations. We swear febrile sometimes means fevered like working at a fevered pitch, the wife & the FT think febrile has feeble connotations. Don't mention "irascible."
UHn soree - Lively N LIGHTLY! Crypto in the FT!! it's the WEEKEND!! & there is the Ethereum price printed in pink on the front page, up more than any other world indices
Oh wait, that says Eth is at 1500. It's at 1600 now right? Heh.
But this is the FT so we gotta PAY for that!!
Here's a casual smear. Ya mention SCAM, ya gotta say CRYPTO in the FT. In the third paragraph as a lead to draw eyes!! 
They won't notice that there is exactly zero crypto in the NEXT TWENTY SEVEN paragraphs!! NONE in ALL the scam stories... anti-crypto narrative mission accomplished!!
where were we Dang it light n lifeful!! !! OK Crypto news that SCREAMS inflation!! 
200 billion here, 200 billion there, after a while ar ar ar!!
Iranians are no longer happy with the fashion censorship huh?
Yep, it's a doveish pivot!! after raising rates all the way to 2% versus Taylor rule goal of 13%, the EU signals a cave!!
Boy Christine's stage crew is gifted, LOOK at those soothing photo ops!! It all matches Chris's suit on the monitor!! Did we say crypto winter is OVAH, Jane, OVAH!!! Did ETH say it FOR us?? cause otherwise it all reads like a script from the Mockingbird movies. Maybe Girl On FIre, as in liar liar pants on fiare...
OK, it's funny, the FT HAS mentioned Rishi loves crypto. Only by making fun of his NFTs tho. Which we STILL don't have!! This is the Brit way, lol. Yes, Minister. In the SERIOUS Rishi stories, still no crypto. 
Not a word. We still love Rishi!! He's the first PM with an MBA!! Actually he's WAY too rich to be PM, and has never won a leadership battle, Liz trounced him. Boris would thump him in an election, sadly. Let's hope he doesn't get thrown under the bus TOO soon! Like, before the slow rolling civil service ever delivers a single blessed NFT from the Royal Mint!! Waiting for Godot....
The only other drop of crypto in the pink lady today: 
TLDR: the FT sees Twitter as a bad problematic deal. On the upside, CZ / Binance, asked by Musk, provided funds AND plans to integrate crypto payments & ??? Pass the popcorn!!
Online, we get one shot. AND a nerfy shot fired in anger it is!! 
TLDR: Ya know what's coming before we read it!! Once, crypto's volatility had the FT crowing that BTC fails as money!! Now, crypto's LACK of volatility proves that crypto is dead!!
It's very funny, cause LOOK at the TIMING. The Merge shone flawlessly on September 15th.
Since THAT day, the FTSE 100 is down, shares of the LSE are down, but ETH ? Look at it in GBP, baby. 
Right NOW, ETH is over 1400 GBP. At the time of the Merge? 
Oh, OH!! Lookit THAT. Eth was 1,281 GBP at the time of the Merge. Up 125 Pounds Sterling! Why, THAT's a 10% RALLY !!! Go freakin NUTS, ETH!!! How ($#&#$(*&#!! much of a rally counts as a rally for a journalist in his own currency? Remember ETH is a currency!! What's that ANNUALIZED? 10% in six weeks? That would be like what 80% in a year?? AH ha ha ha hah hah hah !!! say it WE WANNA CORRECTION!!!! ar ar ar
Hard to finish reading this nonsense, but we love y'all, we will try!! Blah blah blah, vol is down, rehash BTC, luna, terra. Cue the outdated copypasta, crypto market cap is under 1 trillion (sic) WE WANNA CORRECTION!! It's 7% OVER right now. 
Rehash Coinbase and Gemini cuts ( WHO CARES!!??!) rehash broken arrows and Celsius, execs down, blah blah. Rehash what HODL means, with an insult as BTC is not being used much for transactions. Ah we don't even WANT to play FT crypto hate bingo tonight, we are still hungover!! But we should: El Salvador BAD! check. Bitcoin not a hedge against inflation! Check. Negative graphs check negative quotes check. Miners Core Sci going down (who cares, how many times will the FT print this????) checchk Fifteen shots Hic BINGOOOOOOO!! Plush twoer three corrections, yaeaahh??
Again, we are trying to raise our game, Judges say we gotta be sparing with the FU's handed out, but that's fifteen. On the UPSIDE, grudgingly, these days, still the truth is shining thru. Even neggy analyst quotes say crypto is here to stay. Rehash Coinbase and Blackrock hooked up. Nasdaq, Mastercard, BNY Mellon, are in. SO that brings us down to 9 FU's out of five.
Socko negative close??? of COURSE there is. The questionable Charlie from the non-blockchain ( quit lying FT it still aint and never will be open ledger) failed street consortium R3 comes in to say there are no fundamentals for crypto, and a bull run for crypto before the broader economy is "fanciful." This col has ALREADY aged like spilt milk in summer. And that brings us back up to ten!!! 
That's it for our edjumacation from the FT today dear readers. We love y'all!! 
Out to run free in the REAL world of funny crypto news!!
Remember when the sun comes up it's PAST time to go to sleep!!! Helpful tip cause we love ya so much!!
Peace out,
Love,
Dave
please refer a friend-ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
Gogol bordello landing the mothership, lol!! NYC Lowa east sideah Ukraine Romainia Romain ??? gypsy punk rock!!
Poor Rishi asking the deep state erm, yes minister permanent public "servants" for an NFT.
Working in London rolling out distributed computing on the trading floor, we once asked three weeks, two weeks, one week, and daily in advance for some extra power and AV tech for a demo for the trading floor. The day we needed it, we called again asking where it was. A sweet sweet voice answered " Oh yes, sir, just a moment let me check on that..." then a click as she accidentally on purpose missed the hold button. Accent shifted, a harsh cry rang out "There's some Yank on the phone going on about he wants something, dunno what..." we feel your pain Rishi. Another City co-worker was like "if you want me to be here by ten AM in the morning that's OK but ya gotta let me know ahead of time!!!"
