Crypto folk we love you!  Your ways are magical and delightful!  Good on ya for joining together to lift up the future here on the paradigm shifting Publish0x!! 

Yesterday's Watch was a hard shift.  Like, eth must be, like on a rip or something & the FT must think they, like, have to put it down?  Ar ar ar aroooOOOO!!!! Today's reading music is Fatlip.  Yes, it's actually a punk rock love song and a damn good one, say top ten on Kerrrrangggg TV!! OK that's better, here we go changing the fabric of the FT crypto one chitpost at a time.  Preferably BEFORE they make US suicidally depressed!!! But THAT won't happen with SUM 41 around!! 

What do we get today?  Crypto news that dare not, in the FT, say crypto:  The EU raises rates by a .75!! It's the biggest since 2009!  The ECB  pledges to fight!!  Ack shu ally it's a joke, the market's laughed it off, Italy and France are starting to whinge, it's the start of a "dovish pivot." 

It's very funny, we can skip hanging on LaGuarde's every word!!  The Taylor rule is clear!! This rate hike takes the ECB to what, 2%?  Inflation for the EU last month hit 10.9%, up almost a whole point in one  month for September?   We repeat our prediction, no way in hell will the ECB have the mandate to take the prime rate to the Taylor rule's 12.9% required to kill this inflation!!!     They ECB needs to 6x the prime rate, LMFAO!! not just add 0.75!!!   Inflation sez count on me, cuz I'm not listening!! 

China's censorship of their Politburo spooked the country and investors around the world, the ripples are still going round. Germany did 100MM a year in bilateral trade, some sectors now down 65%!!! 

There are BIG fiat funnies going on in Egypt!! It's funny.  Egypt got three loans from the IMF since 2016. Just five short years ago, the IMF gave Egypt 12 billion jn fresh fiat!  For an agreement to float the abysmal Egyptian Pound.  Note that event here graphically: 50% overnight?  Anyway, NOW the IMF just gave Egypt a fresh 3 billion in fiat, for an agreement to float the (even more abysmal NOW) Egyptian pound.  Yes, there's an echo in here.  Maybe this time it WILL float but we wonder. That's just the warmup funnies, though!! Behold the future:  Egypt hath raised it's prime rates another 200 bips to hit 13.25% to fight inflation!!   The FT reports.  Good IMF boy!! 

Here's the hilarity!! Not in the FT, Egyptian inflation is supposedly about 13% but Bloomberg has Egypt at 14.6% inflation!!  Dear readers KNOW the Tayor rule is ROFL right now.  The prime must go to 16.6%.  All Egypt is doing is chasing the market up too slowly!!  Ar ar ar aroooo!!! BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE, crypto funny lovers!!! Most DEFINITELY NOT in the FT,  Egypt is tearing up the world in crypto adoption!!!  Dear readers know Turkey is like #12, Egypt is #14!! MENA is going crypto FAST with these monkeyshines going on!! 

Moving on - The FCA subverted and stopped the administration's attempt to move London into the bright future of crypto.  Instead all the EU countries got branch offices from Binance et al while London got a swift kick from the FCA and the FT.   Now? Bye bye empire London, bye bye.  Admit it- a booming crypto hub in London would TOTALLY drive Forex trading.  And THAT would drive derivatives volume.  SAY IT SAY IT!!!!! 

Crypto that says crypto:  The slash job on BITO makes print.  It's funnier the more we read it.  Since BITO was only the SIXTH worst first year ETF, by %, which is all that usually matters to the FT!!!  This article only mentions one other crypto ETF, we thought huh, so what WAS the worst first year ETF?? Ever??

The FT ONLINE jumps in to answer THAT VERY QUESTION!!   Rehash of BITO.. 

 TLDR:  since we are only online, the GOOD editors ain't working!! There is a typo in the fifth paragraph, shipped (sic) instead of slipped. This time, the article brags about the exclusive  Morningstar data hate!  Same  data, same crypto hate, even the graphics department lazily re uses the SAME BITO graph.  C'mon, pretend to try!!   

It's funny, many ETF's finally launch right about the time the market has peaked!!  And many crypto ETFs have bombed.  Only a XRMD, a Russian commodities ETF in 2008, and HMUS, a Canadian reefer stock in 2019 did worse. 

Digging deeper, the FT is STILL spinning and slanting the data.  Turns out they are not including leveraged NOR inverse ( short ) funds.  Well, why not?? They are funds, ya pay n pick & there ya are, right?   A Dublin based 3X levered ROKU  fund, ROK3, tanked 99.92% last year following Roku's 76% slide!! Now THAT's a FUNNY!!  OK, maybe not leveraged, apples to oranges?  But longs and shorts, hell, bulls n bears, that's wall street, right? 

FT still hiding something... something funny... AH !! HERE it is!!  Why won't they list inverse funds?? Before BITO, there was SBTC, a fund rushed out by the Swiss in Jan 2020.  That's the famous 21 Shares Short Bitcoin, which lost 86.2 percent in ITS first year YAYYYY AH HA HA ha hah ha hah!! SBTC launched as a BTC short fund right when BTC went up 285%!!      Ya can't make this up.  If only ya monkees launched a LONG fund FIRST, THEN the short fund!! AH hah hah hah ha we are crying.  The FT says something like oh, that fund was only for short term holding (why?  were y'all not always "it could go to zero you know" back then?) ah heh heh he he!! 

Arooo!! say it, SAY IT you $#$(&$#(*$&ers!! the worst all time  ETF was a BTC SHORT fund!!!   >  20% worse than BITO!!!!  

OK, that was funny.  Enough to make the Judges stop us from dishing FU's.  Plus at the very hidden bottom, Kenneth at Morningstar gives a meh call for crypto to rebound.  Bulls remain bulls, use cases haven't changed.  Many industry players have regathered for a bull run. Who knows? 

Finally, time for the Cryptofinance hack job on Crypto, it's Friday!!  Will it start with a negative article with a scary pic?? of COURSE it will!! TLDR:  Godzilla crushes Tokyo!! no, wait, that's BTC crushing Sing by the blood red sky!!  A long nothing burger rehash of Sing's travails.  Sing tried to be open to crypto, the EU went slower.  Now Sing is tightening up a bit, which makes the EU's Mica look maybe better.   

The REAL story:  the FT misses the real question.   If Sing was too open ( we disagree, companies like 3AC FLED from Sing being too tight) and the EU was a bit slower but now looking good, what about the UK?  The FCA mutilated Revolut, kicked out Binance, FTX, and Copper and ALL others!!  The FCA  now look like fools as the City dissolves post Brexit and never Crypto.  Meanwhile,  fun times are had with the crypto bucks SLOSHING around Zurich, Geneva, Madrid, Paris and many other EU homes of CEXs, etc!! .   

In addition, it's not at ALL clear that  Mica won't be too prescriptive, stultifying, and people won't go elsewhere.   We refer to the fall and fall of  USDC and the rise of USDT and BUSD as examples.  Mica stipulates locals only stablecoins, a prescription for sub optimal market practices fighting the best interests of consumers.  The oldest protectionist law EVAH.   

Next up: rehash of congress asking Gary about the revolving door of lobbyists and reghammerers in crypto.  We already reviewed this news as a humor item this week.   Every one of these congresspeople took MASSIVE amounts of money from lobbyists, and even MORE from the PACs those lobbyists work for.  Now, this time honored tradition that they took  hundreds of millions of donations EACH from, should STOP now it might be about a new industry.  Yeah, stop it ONLY for crypto.  How about those ARMS lobbyists that convinced our country to print a hundred BILLION dollars for WAR??? Maybe THEY should be stopped?  Oh no, only crypto.  Have a big fat FU Congress, and y'all too, FT. 

NEXT, we already joked on this one as well!!!  the FT covers the 60K total Chinese bribe paid in Bitcoin to a US law enforcement agency.  The ONLY reason this tiny minor story is in the press is it makes Bitcoin look stupid, and starts the smear campaign against Wasabi.  Thanks for the pravda agitprop, FT.

Next, some miner (Core Scientific)  is piffing, WHO CARESSS?????

Net, Parliament's crypto group is calling on Rishi for clarity. The FT says Rishi has better things to do, but admits Rishi likes the crypto. It's really funny, old FT links head off to tales of how Bitstamp came to work with London.  Was refused, grew to a top ten, tried AGAIN.  Was refused AGAIN!!! This note ends with a slur on the Royal Mint's yet unreleased  NFT collection. 

Next, What's App went down, which freaked out EU and UK biz.  Paolo the CTO at Bitfinex said What'sApp was a centralized Web2 problem. The FT uses this as an excuse to kick BitFinex for once being hacked, and having AML charges.  THIS is VERY funny, as AGAIN, we already JOKED about THIS one TOO!!! 

Dear readers remember since the UK slammed FTX and Binance, Brit yobbos used MOSTLY BItfinex when they went 4X on volume in GBP / BTC, getting their money the (#$&(#$&#*!(. outta the pound sterling STAT!!!!  Yes we agree Bitfinex ain't the top of the crop.  But Y'ALL ALREADY KICKED THE BEST OUT!!! In poetic justice, the UK effectively surrounded their citizens with sleazy crypto, thanks to poor gummint actions. 

Finally, a puffed up bit about volumes going down on sales of crypto investment products.  TLDR:  here's a scary graph!! Except wait, it's NOT.  Every little blue bar represents money flowing in to crypto.  That's right.  This graph looks like a chitcoins rise and fall to death, right?  But that's cuz it's the wrong kind of graph, the FT KNEW we would see it that way in a hurry.  For this graph to be scary, it should have RED bars going DOWN under the X axis, right?  LMFAO!!   This graph should be entitled " Despite horrid crypto winter, investors KEEP ON POURING MANY MILLIONS INTO MORE crypto for the entire last two years!!!!  WOW!!  AH HAH HAH HAH HAH !!! 

OK, we are not even gonna dignify these piles with a response like a specific FU count.  Let's just say, seven crypto articles, all spun as negatively for crypto as possible.  In reality, some were positive, and ALL of them could have been spun positively!!! We are FEELING the HATE!!

And we wanna feel the love!!  We love yall crypto people, hold yer head up till we see ya again!!! Hold your head high!!!

Gotta hop, peace out, 

love, 

Dave

please please refer a friend to our ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

Sum 41 ( the 41st day of summer ) is funny, cause they started as a  (much more hardcore) NOFX cover band.  The romantic - ish interlude in the middle of Fatlip is still a cover of NoFX's "Don't count on me."  Sum 41 made it a lot more lovely fun and power poppy, we love it.   We love NoFX too, but their original, while still a punk love song, is pretty alienated and weird for us this week.  NoFX was famous as one band member liked to dress as a clown with a fake flower.  He would get you to smell it and squirt drugs in your nose, for example.   Sum 41 ain't like that!! 

love, 

Dave