Crypto people, just for reading this we know we love you!! May your way be awesome and bright, unless y'all LIKE shadows! Thanks for being with us all on the uplifting Publish0x!!
Changing the fabric of FT crypto coverage one post at a time! We know we said we would quit laughing over the return of crypto to the UK PM narrative, but please just one last belly laugh. For LIz, and Kwasi. Surely the FT crypto coverage will dare not treat international hedge fund star Rishi the same way!!! Cause hey baby!!! Here's the crypto love again FT!! We are borg, lol!! HEEEEYYYY baby! Cuz we love ya, here's Uncle Ted's best song for reading music. Why cause once we suffer thru that intro, Uncle Ted ain't allowed to sing, only Derek St. Holmes, improves the act considerable!! HEY BABY FT!!! Have some crypto news!!!
OK, that's better, whadda we get for highbrow salmon coloured crypto news under the new PM?
Crypto news afraid to say crypto: South Africa is printing up 10 billion to take over a failed energy supplier.
Italy has the world's oldest bank, MPS, which just raised 2.5 billion. Only, the Italian gummint is paying for 64% of all the shares. This might be illegal as everyone else had to be given sweeteners to touch this pig.
The star : 
TLDR: Merica prints up 80-90 billion for the Ukraine. Now the defense industry starts to get some trickledown, baby, GD gets a 400MM munitions & ordnance order. Plus the main battle tank market is looking better than for years!! Get yer M1-Abrams NOW on a red hot deal!! It's just a fiat thing we wouldn't understand it. Can you say print fiat for eternal war? Sure you can, the war machine can too!!!
Crypto that says crypto: The mighty LEX drags every cannon on board up on deck to fire the best anti crypto broadside they can rally!! Rum, the lash, & nevermind!!! Rishi must be in their heads rent free, lol!! 
TLDR: might be time to play copypasta drinking games!!! The FT anti-crypto narrative BINGO game??? let's see: It used to be bad when cryptos were too volatile, to the FT & LEX this proved they were not money. Welp, now it's time to whipsaw back the OTHER way, let's talk about how horrible crypto stability is!!! Copypasta RE-RE-REEEE hash: 
Our card as A-1 -BTC number go down CHECK! Celsius CHECK Voyager Check, Terra / Luna check, DON'T mention Terra was an ALGO stablecoin CHECK, contagion, CHECK.
Repeat BTC number go down in a different way (market cap) CHECK. RE-RE-REEEE repeat BTC number go down a THIRD way - the BTC ETF number go down. Repeat that the BITO ETF lost more money than any other CHECK. DON'T mention it was the most SUCCESSFUL ETF of ALL TIME, was actually only the SIXTH worst performing ETF, and everyone stayed in it and more funds are flowing in CHECK CHECK CHECK!!
Wow, WE could have copy-pasta'ed this article ourselves!! But it's a LONG SLOG!! More cliches still to come!! BTC is dead because El Salvador delayed a bond issuance (sic) CHECK!! DON'T mention this was only because of pressure and bribes from the IMF, the US and many others!! Nayib stands tall till 2024, stay tuned!!! 
Most bitcoin wallets are in the red CHECK!! Bitcoin only existed in a zero-rate market! Higher energy prices are killing miners CHECK!! Bitcoin is just for speculation (check) Ideological virtue signaling (check, hic) AND of course, illicit transactions!! CHECK!! Jesus that's like seventeen shots!! A new RECORD BINGOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
The REAL story: The world tried hard to kill BTC (and ETH) and failed. We know the ROCK bottom now, it's all headed up!! The FT calls this just residual value. No longer even a measure of irrational exuberance !!! LOL! Have a whole big bag of eff offs, Lex, we've heard it all before, and called y'all on all the parts ya WON'T say before. Plus, noone cares that some miners and centralized lenders go down!! It's good for the industry!!
Yarrrgh. What else we got? Well, there's always online!! 
TLDR: It's Alphaville, so ya KNOW it will be 100% pure crypto hate!! No disappointments here!! Tell corporate it's the same crypto hatchet job as LEX, except with extra nasty!! A nasty BTC number go down graph, 
with the FT's new editor claiming credit for BTC's fall!! Sweet. Plus sophomoric links to a Simpson's joke about flying pigs, dated old crypto hate from the Guardian: plus a link to a re tah ded article, simplistic talking down from a D-bank analyst. Which is already out of DATE copypasta, sez BTC is too volatile to be money / store of value, HA HAH!!! Article also repeats the hack on ESG for BTC without EVER comparing the ESG of massive FIAT funnies!!! An FT classic knife job.
The last link? In case ya didn't get the point, three guesses anyone?? A link to crypto hate from a GUEST assassin for Alphaville, some clown LAST YEAR who says that the magical mathematical genius that is BTC is actually WORSE than a PONZI. OK then pal. 
It becomes hard to read the rest of the predictable tripe, given THAT warm-up. A lot of words, graphs, and people say BTC is down, but won't go below 18K. Then we hear miners are hurting ( does NOT matter, there will always be plenty left, who DOES care!!??!)
In a predictable socko finish, AV closes, BTC is an asset on life support. In the comments section, AV fans applaud, plus ask for the chestnuts AV gave up this time - Tulip Bulb jokes, Beanie Baby jokes, South Sea company, yawn. PLAY FREE BIRD!!!
Judges agree, a clean sweep, five out of five FU's awarded for this unbalanced pile o hate. Tough day today in the FT mines!!
We missed an article in the print version. Here it is: 
Jem's was brave enough to go walk point for the anti-bitcoiners AT A BITCOIN CONFERENCE!! Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, baby. We hope Jems got good combat pay!!
We would feel bad for her, but she would never feel bad for anyone who spoke for crypto at an FT party!! Not that anyone ever would, lol!! Seriously, Jem's thinks it's fine to say that a serious pro-crypto speech by the guy who now runs Treasury is PUKE INDUCING, only consider on an empty belly!! Oh hah hah hah. But she can't take the cringe when it whips around!! 
To be clear, we can't support anyone hating on anyone too much. Not in the FT: Apparently some tweets were taken down, we looked hard and still saw one that went too far. But the ones that really hurt were ach shu ally self induced!! Fair play!! The worst one, a clip of all her "likes" which also captures her claiming OG bitcoin understanding status
https://twitter.com/ICOffenderII/status/1580636283088797698
we can't upload it to the 0x, but it IS cringe, but it IS fair. Of all the other jibes the internet winged in, this one from earlier this month is the best !! It's your own words that really ever sting: 
Some people think that this tweet is proof of not understanding CHIT about bitcoin!!!! Ar ar ar ar !!! Seriously if you want to claim early understanding of bitcoin, be prepared to articulate your basic disbelief. That it will all go to ZERO, you know!!! The last stand of course claiming that BTC is just not money, which is getting thinner and thinner and thinner.
OK, street humor, you know we have to go too far, trigger warnings:
Sometimes, when you are busy claiming to be Craig Satoshi, the HATE just comes thru and shows in your face. It's not mean, not unfair, just funny like ALL good "separated at birth" jokes are!!! just cringe all round
God bless ya SPY magazine, where ever you are in humor mag heaven!! WE like her TOO, Blood Moon! Good on ya, Jems!! You DO have the skills and the brains, a nice try, but being the focus of the animosity of all those bros would be 100% too much for almost ANYONE!! Really, dear readers remember even WE fouled out at the bitcoin bros in London and ended up being aggro rude BACK to Charlie Shrem!! We understand, maybe y'all were jetlagged? We started laughing like a stutter in a speech in Tokyo once!!! Nil bastardo carborundum sister!!! Times have changed, these last quarters PROVED BTC won't just go to zero. Whilst it was FINE to say that in the FT a year ago!!! Funny cause it looked like BTC almost did for a bit!! 
We had just been loving Jem's written firm contrarian crypto pose. IF Only she was the only one that way at the FT instead of the 100% groupthink anti-crypto facism narrative we see today!! It overwhelms us. Claptrap today included yeah, ok, there are now like one or two actual uses for ETH!!! Now that condescending $(#&$#@(!! makes US nauseous!! 
Ahhh return to love!! THERE is the love!!!
Gotta sleep, early day coming.
Peace out, love
Dave
Please refer a friend to our ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
Thanks!
love
