Rabbit rabbit cryptofans, we love you!! Thanks for doing church here on the mighty crypto Publish0x!!! We can't figure out the algo, is it more FT or more more funnies?? It's ok, we are gonna show y'all that FT counterpoint love whether y'all read these love letters or not!! Cuz we are not that bright!!!
Changing the crypto fabric of the FT one chitpost at a time, god bless y'all each and every one!!
Today! In the salmon lady!!
Crypto that dare not say crypto!! EU inflation officially hits 10.7% The Taylor rule is LAUGHING at them 2% ECB prime rates, it's just funny.
The meh HK does a drop of crypto story hits dead trees today. Reads even funnier now, pretending that HK did anything Bejing did not approve. Heh!!
Here's the FT's anti crypto narrative in haiku form:
TLDR (lol) once again, along with a SLOPPY online typo, we see the FT trying SO hard to conflate some miners going down with a general death to crypto, inshallah, haibibi. The number two mining op just stopped, it's GOOD news. Trust the FT to seek out and publish the negative crypto ONLY. How many new STAKING enterprises just fired up and are rocking away!!! ??? you #($&#(*%#&!!! s! That's the REAL story!!!
OK online!
Here's a hatchet job!! Dull, weak, but that NASTY intent SHINES thru!! 
TL,DR: The LEAD tells a lie, trying to say that re-use of old ETH rigs somehow means that ETH has not PIFFED it's ESG footprint 99.998% !!!!! Good lord, the quality of the crypto agitprop has just fallen off a CLIFF!!! To the FT, re-using an eth rig for cloud computing still counts as ETH's carbon footprint. Let us respond, after due deliberation, #$(@&$#(*#$&!!!!
This actually is not funny, we abhor bad analysis leading to lies or just bad planning. E.g., the eternal neg on BTC's footprint, never running the numbers on the global financial industry, let alone the military waste powering the Petrodollar. NO real world comparisons! 
The article is clawing frantically about for a reason to hate ETH! What about the small investors that lost out in the Merge??!? It's very funny, suddenly the FT is all worried about the happiness of miners!!! Ar ar ar ar !!! Even calling them "investors" for some reason!
"The Merge, one of the most ambitious projects in crypto history" STOP right there!
The Merge was THE most ambitious software project EVER!!! The most important financial upgrade performed!! a 100% upgrade of a system running live with 200,000,000,000 dollars!!! Microsoft, Apple, SAP, NO ONE ever did such a single IMPORTANT project!! Not just in the crypto arena y'all dislike so much!! In the whole history of the WORLD!!!
Can this article sink even lower trying to strike at ETH? Oh yes it can!!! Here we have a claim that Vitalek his own self said electricity use of the world would go down 2%!!!! That's a total LIE!!! All Vitalek did was RETWEET Justin Drake !! WE WANNA CORRECTION!!!! Nah, that's not strong enough. #(!&$(#&!!!!! ers!! Here, we know!! NOT in the FT of course, twitter thread shows the LIE, but we stick with it for the rude sweater stuffed in the pants Vitalek meme to express our response to the FT on this one: 
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!!
How could this article sink any lower? Why of course, a quote from the despicable Alex from Digiconomist!!! Now TBF, Alex's knickers are in a twist as about 40% of his shtick (shitick) just piffed. Alex's fame comes from multiplying hash rate * whatever to get whatever, then say oh look it's Finland!!
Let us take time out of our busy day to point out - never ONCE do these schmucks compare crypto ESG footprints to a Merican state!! Ya know what? Finland sounds impressive, doesn't it?? But really that's only as much as CHEEZY states like Alabama or Arizona, with few people and NOTHING going ON!!! Finland / ETH's ATH consumption is BLOWN AWAY by most states!! Not just REAL states like Cali or Florida, Penn, New York or Texas or others, CHEEZY states like south OR north carolina, Oklahoma!!! 
We digress. Alex hyperventilates !!! Graphics cards can be used for gaming, & AI, AND clouds!! Tracking the consequences of the Merge becomes much worse!! It could be near impossible!! This is SO sad and horrible. This is actually GOOD news ya pinhead!!! Using your own words -all the gear has a ready aftermarket!! Power use went down 99.998%. All the gear has a new home. THAT'S IT!!! That IS the tracking, we are DONE!!!! Liar.
We don't want to finish the article at this point, but we love y'all, so we will. Prices for cards haven't fallen that much, many are hanging on to see what happens. 20% of ETH hash has jumped on Eth Classic, perennial mining fave Ravencoin, and Ergo. Not in THIS article, but could work if any of those moon, lol!!! Two FU's plus an extra one for the meta framing of the entire article, judges agree that's three out of five FU's for this pile o anti-crypto narrative agitprop. BORRRR RING!!!
Could the FT sink any lower in their hate for crypto?? SURE they can!! HERE we go!! 
TLDR: Did you KNOW that about 0.3 percent of child pornography websites accept crypto?? That's right, out of 250,000 horror sites, about 1,000 accept crypto.
The REAL story: another effort at misframing, what a giant crock. Of all the real problems with grooming children these days, let's focus on 00.3% of the problem, cause it fits OUR narrative. Another way of stating this - to hell with 99.7% of the abused kids!! They don't fit our all important NARRATIVE!!! It's hard to say this is not evil right there.
Within that 00.3% where it is possible ( actual use still less) , crypto paedophiles use really easily traceable BTC half the time, that's good, they will get caught!!
To add insult to injury, BURIED in the article ( halfway through the 13th out of 15 paragraphs) we find out that Brian Armstrong and Coinbase LED an effort to ID 6,900 accounts that might be human trafficking, modern day slavery, or child porn.
THAT's the HEADLINE right THERE, you $#)(#$)(*#)#(*ers!!!! Did CHASE or Banco Popular do this anytime in the last fifty YEARS???? NO!!! Coinbase did it!! OK we're done. Rubber stamp 5 out of 5 FU's, we don't CARE what the judges are saying. Plus, our only REAL story: we finally figured out tonight's reading music: TLDR: this one's for you, crypto people, and Tank Man, rest in peace!!
Ooohhh, we feel so dirty. Take us away to pure crypto funny news!! 
We love y'all! Sorry to be so crabby, it's not YER fault!! We will try to be nicer cause we love ya!! Let's blame the FT narrative.
Peace out,
love,
Dave
Please please refer a friend!! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
PS censorship update! Penny wise released “Fuck authority” on April 2001. After 9 11 it was banned from airplay in September.
