Crypto folks, you know we love you!! & loving y'all is easy, cuz yer doing the right thing, dragging mankind up the hill!!!  Lifting money away from fiat!! 

It's a great time to be alive!  A bit tough outside when not on the  rosy wings of the mighty Publish0x!!  But a FUNNY time!! 

Crypto in the FT, let's change that fabric fams!!  Crypto won't say crypto:  the epic mismanagement of London's fiat continues!a FORTY YEAR peak in the inflation - hey so, that's WORSE than the mid eighties??? 

Tradfi corruption funnies!!  Remember when giant audit firm Earnst & Young gave WireCard a CLEAN bill of health, fully passed the intensive E & Y rigorous audits for an ENTIRE $#(#$#@(*$&  DECADE!!! And then it turned out that 50% of the WireCard revenue was imaginary, along with 1.9 BILLION in cash accounts that had been stolen LONG ago!!!  THAT was awesome, huh?  Well,  that was over two YEARS ago!! TODAY was the day the German auditors are supposed to release their 3,000 page report.  Instead, not so much, they need more time ah ah HA HA HA HA HA !! 

Here's one that cracked us up!! TLDR:  Sorry John, the only perverse thing here is the FT's arse kissing of the BIS.  But you are kinda RIGHT:  the retail world's desire for "flaky' crypto assets is a "sorry verdict on independent monetary policymaking.   Take out those two cheezy, biased adjectives and y'all are SPITTING THE TRUTH, boy!!! 

Crypto that SAYS crypto!!  The Genesis lockup story makes dead trees. Reading it today - Genesis, and for that matter FTX, were dead men walking after the 3AC debacle.  AND, they all DESERVED to be wiped clean, it's better for everyone !! The Bahamas defending itself makes print as well. Too late, think the court case went to Delaware.  No fun in the Indies sun for crypto lawyers, too bad the Bahama hotels  would have loved the bidness. 

Hey, here's some fresh crypto (hate & misunderstanding) from LEX, that's always worth a read!! TLDR:  Lex will ALWAYS be skeptical (at best) about crypto. FTX's collapse, plus Genesis lockup,  "means they need even sharper-eyed scrutiny (sic.) "

The foremost candidate (for scrutiny? what? ) is Bitcoin.  OK stop we have our reading music ah ha ha ha ha Yes, the FT / Lex  is the central scrutinizer!!! 

Here check some of the lyrics - just replace "music" with "crypto" and laugh at how well it fits!! Ah ha ha!! 

This is the Central Scrutinizer...
It is my responsibility to enforce all the laws
That haven't been passed yet
It is also my responsibility to alert each
And every one of you to the potential consequences
Of various ordinary everyday activities
You might be performing which could eventually lead to
The Death Penalty (or affect your parents' credit rating)
Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps
Like you who do wrong things...
And many of them were driven to these crimes
By a horrible force called music! Our studies have shown that this horrible force
Is so dangerous to society at large that laws
Are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever!
Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described
In tiny paragraphs so they won't conflict with the Constitution
(Which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate the future) I bring you now a special presentation
To show what can happen to you if you choose a career in music...

It IS SO funny!! Lex means law of the markets, right?  Well the crypto market IS the ONLY SHRED left of a global honest market with price discovery.  And y'all know it, quit #$(&*#$(itting yourselves!! LIsten to yourselves ah ha ha!!! BTC vol is " perplexingly restrained, given recent events."   Only given y'alls perverted world views, ar ar ar !!  Bitcoin is beat down so hard ya just can't beat it down any harder!!!  Look, there's a FRESH FTX pic ONLINE:

"Surely it should have fallen further!!"  There is no "shoulda woulda coulda" in the law of the markets, pal!!! ROFL.  There is only volatility and price action as discovered by the wisdom of the last (first?) truly global marketplace.   Boy HOWDY yer BIAS IS SHOWING and it's FUNNY!!! 

TBF, Lex references the LIBOR scandal, ya know when corporate and bank corruption destroyed London's grip on the world market rates!!! Is the BTC price action "accurate?"  The FT then tries to throw FUD on BTC PRICING AH HA HA HA HAH!!!  

First LEX admits that open blockchain allowed citizen sleuths to catch FTX swapping coins with Almeda1! But but blah blah, price formation could be muddy. cuz some trades offline or multi-part   BULLLLL $#@(#$$#@(& !!! 

Lex references wash trading. Some shakey exchanges report volume 134 times reality!  Yeah yeah yeah, just like every tradfi electronic exchange EVER, ALWAYS lying about their reported volume, especially the flaky ones, who CARES!! IT's TRADITION in electronic markets and LORD y'all know it!!! 

Lex closes with a WHOPPER: 1) long term BTC HODLERs are steadily growing.  Two, trading volumes for wallets with less than one BTC are ramping UP, hitting an all time high early this year.   To LEX, this could be newfound confidence by the small investor army!! OR, it could be a clever attempt by a few whales to fake us all out!! 

The REAL story:  holy CHIT how do y'all trust yourselves to SLEEP at night?? AH HA HA HA HA!!   The law of the market ALWAYS applies -  except when the law  says what LEX don't WANT them to say!!   Ah ha ha we should scrutinize BTC's price SPARE US!!!   Fake, sort of wash trades prop up NFT prices, and might allow TAX wheezes.  Well, no, more of a lesser not quite crime of a fiddle ##$(&#$( british slang (except the Profanisaurus)  That's true. 

But Anyone trying to use a wash sale to change BTC price action is SOON  embarrassed by the market. 

If there are any lies in the BTC price action, someone will quickly arb them the @(!#*& out, unlike the actual perversions caused by central banks playing chicken with investors as they slowly kill the fixed income market in multiple ways.  Mostly by the gummint owning 100% of EVERYTHING!!  ALL the mortgages, ALL the bonds, buying stocks to prop up, it NEVER STOPS!! 

C'mon Lex, if nothing else, Sammy taught us that the whales are slobs / idiots!!  Genesis gave broken arrows TWO BILLION on a HANDSHAKE!!   Canadian pension funds bragged about due diligence while handing their client's futures over to rando degen traders that got SHUNNED as Forex arseholes!!!   Ain't no giant conspiracy of whales carefully hiding all their BTC in tiny accounts and trading it individually to fool us all !!!  AR ar ar ar ar arOOOOOO!!! Think of what yer SAYING!! and LAUGH!!  Wait a while first if ya have to, we'll be here!! 

OK, that's it except this ugly letter.  The FT is so proud, JUST the response they WANTED!! TLDR:  we reprint this trash cuz it is SO 100% representative of the garbage strewn throughout the FT's comment section.   Man, does Stevie love central banks!! He must love inflation TOO! ROFL!!  Yeah, ban it, Stevie.  Ban it ALL!!  "Kill" it!!   Ha ha ha ha. As far as we can tell, the UK has 100% TRIED!!! and what good did it DO them?? Did the rest of the EU and Bitmex a LOT of good, really!! Couldn't save the pound tho!!  Oh, yea, ban it all you schmo, trust forever in the all perfect central banks.  Just don't hang around US in any dark alleys!!! 

Oh we gotta clear the AIR after THAT print session!!! Here, that Frank song wasn't really a song.  We wanna play Joe's Garage but not appropriate.  Somehow THIS ( baritone sax solo we were looking for) IS.  In the PLACE to BE!!! Hit us with the HORNS and MAKE THAT MONEY!!! TLDR:  Can we KICK IT?  YES we CAN!!! We're in LOVE, we're all shook up!!  Somea y'all know how to do this, somea yall DON'T!! 

Another ONLINE hit: TLDR: Temasek lost 275MM to Sammy's lies!!    Temasek says "perhaps our belief was misplaced" AH HA HA!!   Temasek, from Sing, did EIGHT MONTHS of due diligence ROFL!!  "it is not practicable to eliminate all risks."  Ar ar ar ar !!!  Just WHAT the #$(#$#$( did y'all DO for that year?? We KNOW you had ZERO audited balance sheets!! And THAT would have been DAY ONE of ANY REAL due diligence!!!??!!!!! Oh man.  Words fail us. That's just SAD, dudes. 

NEXT!!!  Well we WONDERED what the terms were on the Mooch's bailout!!! We waited, now we know!! TLDR:  the details:  SBF gave the Mooch 45 million for 30% of Skybridge, but Mooch had to spend 40 million on crypto, including 10 MM in FTT OUCH!!   Hilariously, we backtrack to learn the Mooch was down to his last 5mm in liquidity, NOT a good look for a fund of funds!!!   The real story:  that's it, the rest is rehash.  Oh, except the FT references  that SBF trashed CZ behind CZ's back at a conference, but still no one has any quotes. 

OK, this is the FOURTH TIME the FT has used the SAME #$(#@&$#$(&* BTC PIC on different articles, talk about low-effort.  Is noone that WORKS at the FT actually READING these articles??  ar ar ar TLDR:  the fourth same article the FT published about launching ETFs in Hong Kong.  Ground HAWG day, all over again

The REAL story:  We still don't care, it's all so narrow that here the author admits that there is only room for the first player, hah!!  Fidelity already has a BTC ETP in the market.  ETPs are at least backed with actual BTC and in that way help the paradigm. ETFs, on the other hand, are paper bitcoin, and defeat the law of 21 million, we kinda hate ETFs. 

One more flying monkey bankruptcy lawyer paean by Lex: TLDR;  at least we got a new pic, tho it looks the same!!  It turns out Almeda loaned Sammy and pals billions!! Nobody knows how much deposits were supposed to be on FTX.  Otherwise all rehash, a note that at the end of the multi-year process, creditors won't get much at all!!!  The REAL story:  taken out of the hide of deposits, LAWYERS will get paid, don't worry. 

Finally, dear readers know sometimes we are sensitive to the anti-crypto bias in the FT.  Is it REALLY that way?  Well, here's some open guest hate from Alphaville's pals: TLDR:  is it just us?? or does someone hate crypto?? 

Steve and Kim have been writing about how bitcoin can never work for seven years. Which means, of course, that had they thought it MIGHT work, they could have made about 80x on an investment through till today!!!! ROFL!! Just think, now they have a moment where they might be right again!! NOT.   

Steve ( Brandeis is NOT a top 100 b-school) and   Kim (had a brain+ when he was lead econ for Salomon Brothers, but it must have frozen since) & Kim  CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE trust in crypto coming back after FTX's failures.  Well, y'all have no imagination, then, hard to help ya there!!!

Crypto as it exists is unsustainable.  Crypto is just  World of Warcraft!! 

Should the banks regulate crypto?? NO, because ANY such framework would only allow more slack for finance.  Instead, ban it all, no crypto for banks, etc. Policymakers should keep crypto systematically irrelevant. Don't legitimize it, let it burn!! 

The REAL story:  wow, this is a THROWBACK article.  LIsten, ya hear it??  Man was not meant to fly!!  The car will never replace the horse!!!  Why go to the moon when we have problems here!!!  OUR buggywhip company will never die!! 

Have a giant stack of FU's, FT & AV.  Go tell that line of cr-p to all the Brits who fled the pound this year!!! Go tell it to Brazilians faced with 80% inflation!!   That train has LEFT THE STATION.  Any number of fiats will never again touch crypto in sustainability, nor should they!!!

Crypto thinks Y'ALL are unsustainable, ah ha ha!! 

It's funny, pattern detection finally kicked in.  Because ONE part of CEX world is flawed, the FT quickly conflates that to ALL crypto!!  Over & over, remember?  Some parts of crypto are centralized, so ALL crypto is centralized !!! WRONG.  Some cryptos are not scarce, so ALL crypto is not scarce!!! WRONG!!  

Wait, wait ok THERE.  THAT was the sound of trust in crypto coming back!! Oh wait, anyone who held coins in non-custodial wallets and traded on DEX's like Uni  or AAVE NEVER EVEN NOTICED except some funky price action.  And price action is what crypto is all about ah ha ha ha!!  

Wow, let it burn.  OK, actually, that works for us.  The more people like y'all stay the @#($$ out, the better for the world.  Thanks for the nice agitprop picture, BACKDRAFT baby!!!  lol quit holding back, tell us how ya really feel!!  Ar ar ar ar aroOOOOOO!!!  Ya think yer so clever, withholding your benevolent reghammering!!  Dream on, dream on. 

We gotta fade, but we love y'all !! Thanks!!! Hang tough, it's all allright.   It's all good, really!! 

Thanks so much and please refer a friend!!! lol to our forever incel ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

Peace out, 

love, 

Dave

LOL Biz Markie Doug E Fresh DJ Kool Engine engine numbah nine On that A-train station line!!!  if mah train falls off the track pick it up pick it up pick it up!!!! 

Ok, gotta go, love   At the count of three
I want everybody in the place to be
To make some noise if ya down with me
One, two, three Hit me with the horns Tony
Keep makin' noise, keep makin' noise, yeah, oh...
Here we go now, here we go now, here we go now...
Here we go, here we go, now listen Some of y'all might know this
And some of y'all don't (jam jam)
Some of y'all might be with this, and some of y'all won't
But listen, let me clear my throat
Oh, have mercy babe, Ha!
I hope ya don't mind, let me clear my throat Special dedication going out to everybody here
In Bahama Bay in Philadelphia here we go now
Check it out, ah huh, ah huh, ah (God Damn) Yeah, rock to the rhythm of the funky rhyme
So I can get this in just one more time
To the beat and ya don't quit
It's that ol' skool rap with that new skool hit
Peter Piper picked a pepper but Kool got the Run
And I can still rip up the house
Every God damn time I get on the mic, I go crazy
Peace out to Celo, Flex, and Doug Lazy
I bet 'cha never knew but now ya know
I'm the undisputed king of this disco
And I never let the mic, might not tire me no more
'Cause DJ Kool rip up the whole damn floor Now I'ma rap a rhyme with the greatest of ease
And swing it like the man on the flying trapeze
And if you don't like it you grab on these
And now I need some help from the maestro please Jam, Ha! So look it here check the flavor of the rhythm
I wrote and while I got a chance here
Let me clear my throat oh, have mercy babe, ha!
I hope ya don't mind, let me clear my throat
I need these monitors right here
Music and the monitors, and it goes a little something
Like this here ah huh ah huh ah Now if y'all wanna party like we do
If y'all wanna party like us, lemme hear ya say
Ah ah ah ah ah, if y'all wanna party like we do If y'all wanna party like us lemme hear ya say
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Now when I say uh, you say ah
Uh (crowd) Uh (crowd)
And now when I say hey, you say ha
Hey (crowd) hey (crowd)
Now when I say uh, you say ah
Uh (crowd) Uh (crowd)
Now when I say hey you say ha, hey (crowd)
Now when I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime
When I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime freeze Now all the ladies in the place
If you got real hair, real fingernails
If you got a job, you going to school
And y'all need nobody to help you handle
Your business make some noise One, two, three, come on now
When I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime
When I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime freeze Now to all the brotha's in the place
That don't give a damn about what the ladies talking about
Cause you just trying to get chummy make some noise Now, now, now, let me clear my throat
Oh, have mercy babe, ha!
I hope you don't mind, let me clear my throat
Special dedication going out to all the ladies
And all the brothers in here
Like to love y'all to death here Ah huh ah huh ah (God damn)
Oh, lemme send my little shout outs here
Special dedication once again going out to everybody here
Bahama Bay in Philadelphia, we love y'all madly
Special dedication going out to Mellow T
Walt Reeder da' joiner, Don Mack, Charlie Mack, DJ Ran
Cosmic Kev, special dedication going out to Frank Steed
Al Orrizo Ice T, and if you're with me, if you're with me
I need some help from the music, from the maestro
Check it out somebody make some noise in this joint man