Crypto lovers we love you!!!  Spring is coming, baby, don't listen to ANYBODY.  Thanks for foraging in the mighty root cellar of the Publish0x till it does, yer doing the right thing and the universe will reward y'all for it.  Some summer!!! 

Walking point for us here in the FT is getting ROUGH, man.  Outnumbered 20-1, and now they have REAL narratives.  Sammy, you dirty rat fink.   Rear echelon #(#@$&#$@(*&!!!   It's funny, though, is Sammy the biggest crook of all time?  What did he lose, 10 billion??   That's chickenfeed!!! While the whole world was going down in 2008, Bernie Maddoff went down for losing 65 billion!!! Yeaaaaah baby!!  That's at least 90 billion in today's money!!! 

Doesn't stop the FT from pounding away though, this is a BIGGER conflict!! Today, loads of the online stories make dead trees for Joe Bloggs.  Which is funny, when crypto times are OK Joe & Jane get nada, it all stays online only, ar ar ar !! 

TLDR:  THERE's yer headlines, people.  Crypto is the heart of evil cuz North Korea.   The REAL story:  Iran, Iraq, Cuba, they are all still here despite Wiki saying we made WAR on them with sanctions.   Right now Russia is under the mother of all sanctions, but the ruble is strong and shipments still get made, just not with the petrodollar, maybe ar ar ar.   Every $##$(#$& corrupt dictator EVER stole TRILLIONS and moved it around without crypto over the history of the WORLD, the bad money flow in fiat DWARFS the crypto bad money into insignificance!!! 

In related news (lol) "CZ called for more regulation of the sector."  A lie, we'll never get a correction, CZ called for CLARITY and SOPHISTICATION of regulations.  That is NOT a call for MORE regs #@@#!(@!@(&$!!!  

Crypto news that won't say crypto:  Fiat funnies continue with lots of pro war pics.  Yesterday we got Ukraine grunts TRAINING in the UK.  Today we get the Merican forces training in the UK

Moving along:  Hey, this is sorta new crypto!! Sort ofTLDR:  Sammy's political gifts were a chocolate MESS!!  He promised to give another 960,000,000 ar ar ar. ar!!!   He loved pandemic researcher candidates.  Some say Sammy was not a genius in how he spent his political $$$, but he did do it with GUSTO baby!! 

The Korea crypto smear (MASSIVE agitprop effort)  makes print, we stand by our impressions.  This time around, it pops that the picture is anti-ETH!! Ah ha ha is that supposed to tie into the lie that ETH's huge ESG win is bad cuz North Korea, ar ar ar !!????   Some journo's need to take a logic course sometime, then try again to splain how ETH is now bad cuz North Korea can MINE MORE AH AH HAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!    THAT didn't gwt any less STUPID overnight!!!

Or is ETH just the big scary bogeyman that the FT must fight not that the ESG smear can't touch it !!!  TLDR:Ah ha hah!! Look, it's scared!!!

Here we go - the FT piles on effective altruism. TLDR:  Sammy is all bad.  Sammy was gonna give 100MM to EA.  Therefore EA is very bad, and the FT must make fun of  EA continually.   

This late breaking, third gen EA smear job effort twists into a back flip.  EA guys like to study what is working and what is not.  Somehow, to the FT, the idea of spending one thin dime to see how well deworming initiatives work is a horrible moral failure and must be stopped immediately.  Why?  Is someone's pet charity threatened?? Maybe the money should be spent on teaching people how to not get worms, or fix their water, or something besides dose them up over and over????  How the $!#($*&$ can you claim this is bad, FT??? think of what yer saying, man. 

The mighty Lex weighs in, with graph porn!!! TLDR:  hey, is that a Rockets from the Crypt joke??  They were one of the basically STADIUM bands that for some reason played at Southpaw by our house in Brooklyn, loll!! saw them one time while walking the dog, lol!! Poor dog was already a LITTLE deaf...

anyway, Lex says everyone is rushing to take money off CEXs.   Crypto.com is the center of the whisperstream!!!  Crypto.com is gonna publish reserves, but Lex piles on for waiting.  

Bitcoin has not dived as much as Lex would like.  Lex would like a lot more crypto contagion, in crypto groups of course!! 

Lex is tweaking out cause BTC is less volatile than US equities!!!   Really, they are freaking out.  Bitcoin could not have become less risky!!  What "mystery factor" is supporting BTC prices?? 

Lex hangs their hat on the Grayscale 41% discount to BTC.  This proves that conventional investors are out of the game, and "widespread and entirely ration fears that contagion is spreading across the crypto industry!! 

The REAL story:  Go breathe in a paper bag and calm the $#(*$ down, LEX.  The law of the markets is trying to TELL ya something, LISTEN instead of competing for the FT flat roof pub meat prize for most hyperventilated rhetoric DEATH TO CRYPTO INSHALLAH!!!! HAIBIBI!!!

Its REALLY REALLY FUNNY!!! Binance dumped proof of eighty billion reserve bags on the market.  LEX don't MENTION THAT!!  But they take time to dig on Crypto's merkle tree techniques.  $#(@$#@$ jerks.  

Yes, BTC, bloodied but unbowed, IS less volatile than US EQUITIES!!! FOR  A (*&$#$*(& GOOD REASON!!   Yes, BTC IS less risky now!! it AIN"T gonna go to zero, SAY IT you hypocrites!! 

Grayscale is a regulatory arb play, it only proves that for most, even most investor class these days, why the !!(*&#! would you let someone else hold your coins like that??? 

No, Lexers, contagion ain't going much further.  And, how can y'all sleep at night, writing this crap without mentioning the tidal wave of mainstream crypto integration advances??  let alone Binance's bags, ah ha ha ha ha!!!  BTC has been beaten to a ridiculous point, now it ain't going ANYWHERE further down.  And Lex, crypto enthusiasts are not CHOOSING not to go into BTC at a discount - it's just that we are all tapped out right now, give us time.  Crypto market cap is already back up to .9 trillion, hurry up and write all y'alls obits while ya can. 

yeah, here for LEX - the reading music.  #$(&$#@(*N  yeah!! Well, not on Brian Jones side, OK but for the greater good of crypto, yessir!! 

OK ONLINE then!! 

Here's one!! TLDR:  Nestcoin held most of their money on FTX!!  Now they are hurting puppies. CONTAGION CONTAGION CONTAGION SEE!!!!! 

The REAL story - really FT?  That's all ya got?? FTX GAVE Nestcoin the money in the first place, the biggest Nigerian fund raiser ever!!   But but Nestcoin invested in even smaller companies, CONTAGION!!!  Heh heh heh.  Pitiful. 

A four million charity crash in a shakey overseas startup is not great news, but is it a LEHMAN MOMENT AH HA HA HA HA!!!  Keep trying FT, or go call your mamma. Either way, we really don't care about weak chit like this. 

The FT also takes time out of their busy day to kick dirt on the Central African Republic that tried to use BTC this year.  Their supreme court won't let them sell citizenship as planned, whatever.  We note that the CAR used the abysmal CFA franc, famous for devaluing 50% overnight, and generally stopping any hope of growth in the countries that used it.  NOT in the FT of $#($#$#(*#& course!!   Have an FU for THAT, FT!! 

Next, the FT freaking LOVES lawyers, let's all talk about lawyers alla time!!  OK. TLDR: the search for new, scary pictures is getting desperate. 

Turns out the REGULAR flying monkey bankruptcy lawyer shill is to file "first day motions" to approve paying lawyers!!! And paying the execs that pay the lawyers, lol.   Since Sammy's books were CHIT, noone got that done!! 

Some valley lawyer was named as the new board chair, but he bailed.  THAT means FTX REALLY ain't got no cash, ah ha ha ha ha!!!

Sammys board was a three person joke.   Lots of "inside baseball" names of lawyers, who cares!!  

Sammy will get sued "up the wazoo" says a lawyer looking for work.  At Cherokee firms, a bankruptcy marketplace, FTX is trading at 10-14% on the dollar.  AH HA HA HA. !! THAT means that Justin's path out with TRON at a 90% haircut was,  ar ar ar RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!! Plus, ya don't have to wait years / decades for flying monkey bankruptcy lawyers to do things like getting paid heavy coin to file "first day motions". ar ar ar AR OOOOOO!!!! that is funny!!!

NEXT!! some rando lawyer focused team at the FT tag teams in to beat on Sammy for a while!!TLDR: hey it's fair game.  Loads of rehash.  Then the FT prints the cheezy, sloppy excel spreadsheets that Sammy used to try and raise NINE BILLION.  AH HA HA !!   Noone would ever DARE take this weak chit to the trading floor to ask for $$$$ !!  This is not even freshman level work. 

Some good rehash laughs:  Sammy hanging out with Bill Clinton and the ex CEO of Goldman.  Sammy used to play video games throughout meetings!!  Switching HQ from HK to the Bahamas - maybe a red flag??? NO BOARD ?? AH HA HA HA!! 

rehash Orlando Bravo, Softbank, Sequoia.  Sequoia had a ten thousand word  puff piece on Sammy on their WEBSITE AH HA HA HA !!! 

FT humor - the SOFTBANK guy that brought us We Work is embarrassed by SAMMY!!  

Rehash Serum, political bet, ok NOW FTX debt is going for 5 cents on the DOLLAR!!  Justin Sun was a merciful dude, ah ha ha ha!!!  In closing, like earlier articles on Celsius and Voyager, the FT and lawyers salivate at the lack of crypto bankruptcy case law.  This will keep loads of flying monkey lawyers dancing on the crypto head of a bankruptcy pin for WHO KNOWS how well paid long!! YIPEEEE!!!!! 

NEXT: A guest Alphaville article from Jill at Expresso.   Hey, it skips the usual AV crypto hate!!  Sort of.

We had been thinking, it IS funny, Sammys' crash n burn would have been stopped by real time audits on CEX reserves. 

Well, Jill points out that indeed, Uni, Compound, and AAVE were just freaking fine while FTX floundered. Of course, blah blah blah, tradeoffs. 

She also points out all the $#($&#$(& crap that was built up, by monkees like Sammy and Alex, rather than actually evolved, useful stuff.  This thought has been kicking around with us in a different way - look at how much larded up CRAP was promptly piled on top of the real stuff that DOES exist. 

FTX looks like hell, especially since crypto was supposed to keep us from having to trust ANYONE.  

In closing, maybe on top of FTX's crash n burn, bitcoin WILL fix this. 

The REAL story:  must be in the style manual to be published in the FT, or a specific verbal agreement.  ONCE AGAIN, a story ALL ABOUT open proof of funds somehow, mysteriously, manages to mention how some exchanges WILL provide proof of reserves.  Dear lord, this is Nov. 15th.   Binance has already shown eighty billion in reserves. Nexo runs a real time audit of three billion in client assets.  COULD you !!#(&@##*!$&!#$. mention this??? JUST MENTION IT ONCE??? jerks.   Any such story that talks about plans for  POF without mentioning Nexo efforts, or Binance's manly stance is just cheezy agitprop by this point, even with the positive spins here and there.  Have another FU, FT, we did NOT think we would have to give THIS article one.  

FU.  NOW is the time to wonder - if Binance showed 80,000,000,000 in blue chip crypto, WTF do they have in chitcoins!!! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!! 

Screw FTX, good riddance to bad rubbish.  

Gotta hop, love you guys, peace out!!  take good care of yourselves, it's a marathon, not a sprint ar ar ar !! 

Please refer a friend: ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

Love, Dave

OK one more punkish love song, we all need it these days: