Crypto fans, we love you.  Thanks for being here on the mighty hold of the crypto line that IS the pumped up Publish0x!!  

We all need all the help we can get now.  The FT has worked itself into a frenzy trying not to waste any of this crypto crisis, rofl.  & they are pretty dang GOOD, too, gotta admit it's funny!!  

Reading music today - it's now, baby!! We mean it's highbrow, it's lowbrow.  21st Century Symphony folks are pure European, rocking ? trying to rock out in Switzerland  five years past here. But Foreigner claimed New York New Yawk status, cause brits Mick & Ian met there.   While Lou really was a tri-state area Zoo Yorker from Rochester, hah.  This song is immortal lol

OK let's go now!! 

First, a Watch correction.  The thrust of our joke about H.E. Justin Sun remains pure!  He tried to save FTX with a cheezy evil genius plan!! No one noticed!!  FTX took down the post!! and Justin was left dumping 650MM into his chitstable, USDD!!! All true!! While TRON did whatever the ??? Tron does.  Dear readers know we kinda don't mind the two year TRON print, not too chitcoiny.   But lookit that one year print yow what what??

TLDR:  Anyway we conflated Justin's tweet of  fighting off the shorts MONTHS ago, with Justin trying to squeeze the shorts TODAY.  Sorreeee, running hot there.

Justin is famous for playing whale games including insider trading by most definitions.  But man it looks like he propped up Tron today,   boy it looks like he did, ah ha ha ha  lookit that 24 hour Tron print: can you say suspicions looking step functions, lol !!!   Whale walls baby!! 

So, the salmon lady TODAY!! In pinkish print!! Are we on the front page again of COURSE we are: 

TLDR:  Big old rehash we have mostly talked about already - FTX "hacked," 8 billion short on liquidity,  blah blah It's funny, the FT is REALLY hoping USDT would depeg under three billion in withdrawals.   Also funny - the FT finally mentions Binance, OKex , crypto.com and derebit vowing to show POF.  Coinbase sent an internal email saying Coinbase is fine.   Maybe people are running from CEXs. Kraken fessed up to locked funds on FTX. 

The REAL story:  WTF, Kraken, why the #$#$ would you have almost a million at peak in FTT (not in the FT) stashed on FTX!!!  Why would y'all HAVE FTX traders accounts with Sammy?? you ARE a competing exchange!!! Oh,  BAD look for Kraken, we had not heard that, that's SAD. 

Note one ugly, mean agitprop, a deliberate attempt to plant the flag for FT anti-crypto narratives to come:  The FT says CZ said FTX's failure could resemble the 2008 crash.  THAT's a LIE.  CZ said that the FTX ecosystem, including the Voyager etc bailouts, will fail. ONLY in RESPONSE to a PLANTED STATEMENT from the MC at a conference did CZ say, yeah, that's kind of an OK analogy. 

Dear readers know it aint 2008 until gummint regs have created huge zombie "ratings" teams & then congressmen, the press, the banks, analysts, ALL THE AUDITORS, EVERYONE lies ALL TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME, THAT's the 2008 crisis.  Crypto has to mature QUITE A BIT to get THERE, we think maybe open blockchain real time audits might NEVER let CRYPTO go to there!!!  Have a FU for that one, FT!!! 

In print - hey, member when FTX kept saying they were all audited n chit? Ah ha ha, that was awesome.  Not. Yeah wait, they had like the coolest new accountants, first in the Metaverse oh STOP, yer KILLING us!!  Too rich!  TLDR:  TOO funny where the #$@#$(*  are the accountants NOW?? On the LAM with Kyle and Su?? Surfing and studying new languages to hide with??  Not saying NUTTIN, that's where they are!  Oh....

Can the FT find one more page topping anti-crypto headline? SURE they can... it's funny!!

TLDR: Rehash, plus blah blah blah.  Some UK banks sort of stop or slow clients from sending money to CExs. 

The REAL story:  Don't use THESE banks, Brit kids, use Revolut!! we know yer waaayyy ahead of us. This is the SECOND ( maybe third?)  time the FT printed Santander clamping down.  Dear readers know its hilarious as Santander, a  Spanish bank is SURFING THE CRYPO WAVE in South America.  The real headline here is like Britain falls further behind, for no reason, in crypto adoption as disrupted banks like TSB and Santander, Virgin (bank? who cares) wait a minute WHAT IS THIS #$@(&.

What are the biggest banks in the UK?? Wiki says Barclays, HSBC, Lloyds, and good ol Royal Bank of Scotland!! NONE of them ban crypto transfers, except Barclays ONLY for Binance!!  and some local cash transfer service FILLS that need for Barclays, too!! SO, we STILL got the headline wrong!! 

"Minor failing trad banks in the UK shy away from crypto as part of the general UK banking malaise. " The big players move on."  Ar ar ar ar !!  RBS LOVES to work with crypto, let alone Revolut sells it directly.  Barclays, freakin hypocrites, took a BIG STAKE in Copper!!  Along with Lord Hammond, late of that House of Lords that put out the  concerned crypto report, lol!!! 

Don't believe the hype, kids. It's funny, TBF  some of these banks just won't let you put it on your CREDIT card. Does that count as tough?  not really more like just limits on  cash advances. 

Online!! Hey, a SEMI neutral headline, over a story we demanded to see!!! Schweeeet!!! Feel our power, 0xers, the FT is even trying SO hard as to choose a new pic each & every time!! Thanks unsung graphix heros!!   TLDR: The FT gets to correct their correction, Sammy had less than a billion liquid.   Rehash Binance calls for POF, Crypto.com, OKex and Derebit respond.  Tether stayed stable with 3 billion in withdrawals.   All the rest is rehash - 473 MM hack, Kraken lockup, Binance locking out hot FTT,  Bahama police & account shutdown. 

The REAL story:  Nexo has real time audits!! Gate.io, Bitmex, and other CEXs already HAVE merkel tree POF, plus Kucoin will in a month, of COURSE not mentioned in the FT NEVER in the #(#$&@$(*& NFT!!!!  

Also NEVER in the FT, the REAL headline is Binance throws down EIGHTY BILLION in blue chip crypto!!!  You KNOW they have BAGS of half the  chitcoins in the world to BOOT!  Conservatively call it 130 billion all in - that makes Binance one of the top 100 best capitalized companies in the WORLD.    Have yet another bag of FU's for brunch, FT, for not deigning to mention this in a STORY about CEXs doing this.

ANOTHER story the FT missed, along with Tron moving money off FTX in the last seconds - some whale was stuck with nine figures in chitcoin on FTX,  He cleverly traded with himself under a  different Bahama account, losing money every time until his funds moved off.  The article is called "how to get your money out of FTX if yer rich" ah ah ha ha !!! a better deal than Sun offered!!  But that's what the Bahama account brouha ha is about. 

NEXT: TLDR:  yes, check the subliminals of the graphix and the lead:  ETH is evil Axie Infinity is evil. 

This sets up the FT copypasta crypto hate, with some real zingers.   North Korean hackers are evil. Ok!   Bingo balls:  Tornado cash, Crypto funds weapons of mass destruction ( fiat funds a LOT more, look around this year. )  

Wait, let's focus on tying CRYPTO in - the Lazarus group is evil.  Therefore so is FTX's crash  ( well, kinds true lol) so is the Sony pictures hack (what who cares!! Why? )   YO GET THIS WHOPPER _ eth reducing ESG footprint is BAD, cuz now. " energy starved  North Korea can increase the amount of revenue it can afford to generate through crypto mining.

AH ha ha Ha HA HA HA HAH HAH !!! There you HAVE it!! that hate filled, scratching about for bad news about crypto, here in capsule form!!!  That's a LIE, that's STUPID, WE WANNA CORRECTION!!!!  WHAT a colossal idiocy is that!!! WHAT do they even THINK they MEAN!!! AH HA HA HA HA HA !!!!  Go have one less beer, try harder next time for the FT flat roof pub meat prize for best anti-crypto hate speech.   can't stop laughing!!   

In related news, somehow NFTs are bad, and and of course MUCH more regulation is clearly needed.  Which is FUNNY, since North Korea ignores all the existing laws and sanctions.  Maybe MORE will help, ah ha ha ha !!! Plus, oh yea, using crypto as money - bad, bad bad.    

What else is funny?  Well, the FT calls Monero a new cryptocurrency, THAT's a joke !! Monero, founded as open source in 2014, is creakingly old for a coin.  Iron FISH is maybe a new coin, now we just feel BAD for your toothless, outdated little hate.   ah ha ha, how about PIVX, Hush, Beam, PirateChain, ar ar ar, maties!! Leave grandpa Monero alone, we want ANOTHER correction!!  calling an eight+ year old coin "new" LMFAO!!! 

We don't even want to dirty our hands stacking the FU's for this one. 

NEXT: CZ speaks!!! TLDR: kind of an ok article, maybe the writers don't hate crypto with all their heart.  CLEARLY though the FT forbids them from mentioning that CZ already slapped down an eighty billion dollar sack!!!  sTOP THE CZ eighty BILLION bag NEWS BLACKOUT, FT!!!! lol!! STOP the NEXO positive news blackout, day 100+++ ar ar ar aroooOOOO!!! 

Fashion commentary, CZ wore a zebra shirt and yellow sneakers.  (!!??!!)  CZ preached POF, and preaches self custodial wallets, trust wallet is fine. 

The REAL story - still foul about blackout on the Nexo and CZ reserve bags, but not that bad, maybe even thank you!!! On the other hand, putting words in CZ's mouth yet AGIN!! CZ did not call for more regulation, he called for more CLARITY.  Two totally different calls MIND YOU!!! rofl. 

OK we love y'all but we gotta pass out, must drive early tomorrow. 

Love, thanks, please refer a friend: ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

Peace out, 

love, 

Dave