Cryptonauts - WE LOVE YOU!! but the FT does most decidedly NOT!!
The mighty watch army rolls out on the FT weekend today. The chess problem is great, there's an article on famous crossword setters...
and absolutely butkis on crypto. The ICE cold shoulder. & we were PYSCHED!! Ready to ROCK!! Reading L: ready to play!! but the FT just forfeits!! aw man, c'mon...
IN today's print version, crypto that won't say crypto: yet ANOTHER story where the polls say Peter Obi, the pro-crypto candidate is polled as being way ahead in Nigeria. 
TLDR: of COURSE the FT doesn't mention crypto. We would like to predict Peter wins, but we have no idea how the machine works in Nigeria. We'll all have to take it as a moral victory that Peter is heavily leading the polls.
Crypto won't say crypto - there's a full page Revolut ad!! Yay!! After daring to offer crypto, and almost being put down by the FCA slow rolling the license process, Revolut lives to fight another day!! & pay for a full page ad in the FT celebrating naming partners!!! 
TLDR: a real victory !! Well, not for Rishi, the FCA is still giving him the "yes minister" Japanese yes. ( means no ##($#& way) Just like they & the FT did to Liz before him, in this pic behind him.
But for crypto that says crypto in print?? We get a pull-out quote in the Weekly Review - three guesses. Oh, there are real stories this week - billionaire Ba Fan was planning on taking some billions out of China to Sing, now he's GONE!! Google thinks they have cracked quantum computing!! But WHO gets the big fat pull-out? Sammy, Sammy SAMMY!!! 
TLDR: the FT keeps those belt-fed, team operated mortars pumping in their agitprop anti-crypto narrative.
NEW stories that say crypto in print?? We get two sentences. One story about how big is your bonus says this year, only 2% of tradfi responders plan to invest in crypto, it was 7% last year. The other sentence in a tax rate story says crypto taxes are paid once a year. Ohhhh we feel that cold cold shoulder.
Anyway, that leaves us with nothing to do except wade into the slime of the cryptofianciallyer "news" letter agitprop!!
OK, what do we get?? let's make it short & sweet - it stinks!!! OK, let's eat a cheesecake and take a nap. 
OK OK longer than that -
we open with the FT saying crypto's geopolitical impact is not uplifting. Yes it is FREAKING IS!!! Ask people whose LIVES were saved by crypto in Turkey, Peru, Syria, Nigeria, where collapsing fiat eff-ups ruined the lives of =, yeah, only the little people. Guess THAT's not NEWS to the FT!! Or how about when Canada went all facist on the truckers?? Tradfi people tried to give the truckers money thru go fund me, but the canadian PM shut THAT down 100% & went after the banks!! The people then gave crypto - and 75% of THAT got thru!!! a HUGE victory for the truckers and those who supported them!! but we reckon to the FT that was avoiding sanctions on the truckers by trying to buy gas & food for their kids.
IN the Ukraine, people gave 200 million in crypto to the Ukraine, that's like 25% of all the non-state aid given. Here is an early tweet
TLDR: That's great, right?? well, not to the FT!! It's funny to watch them thrash around to try and turn this into a negative. But but but someone gave 4 million in crypto to the Russians!! And some of that went to the Wagner group & some of those are Nazi's who fought in Syria!! Yeah, and a bunch if not most actual neo-nazis that fought in Syria are from, & now fighting for, the Ukraine. What ever. And some other people did some other bad thing, & tried to get paid in crypto WE DON'T CARE!!! They would have been paid some other way!! As CZ points out, technology doesn't fight with anyone, it is just used.
We move on to the dismal rehash of all the negative crypto news the FT can find to print. GMX is up 100% YTD!! So is FLUX!! But let's stay neggy with the FT. 
Crypto "news" to the FT -
the FDIC & pals sent out a warning to banks that have crypto related deposits. Sometimes people might take out their funds! Or, when the SEC bans a stablecoin, if fully backed, THOSE assets might go out!! Whoopie!! BFD. Weak weak weak.
Sammy, Sammy Sammy!!
Hong Kong IS gonna let the people trade BTC and ETH!! wow some good news crept in there!! Don't worry, it was framed negatively.
The SEC is hypocritically trying to stop Binance from buying Voyager, we laughed about THAT yesterday!!
Here's a headline: Crypto's lost battle!! Augustin, the head of the BIS says he thinks the battle has been won, technology doesn't make for trusted money.
YES IT FREAKING DOES!! Central banks, like the one in Zimbabwe, don't make trusted money AH AH AH AH HAAAAAA!!! 
TLDR: but they do make worthless money!!
Mikey Novogratz dares to weigh in against Augustin. Well weigh in ain't the word we want here, cause here is a more current pic of Carsten: 
TLDR: whoever loves this man, he needs a doughnut intervention, his head looks like it is photoshopped on!! And we all know he can afford Ozempic ar ar ar !!
So, in response to Mikey N saying that's not true?? Well, the FT does NOT print the pic of Augustin. NO, instead, ever so maturely they re re re print a pic of Mikey's LUNA tat. Which is funny but so is trusting Carsten's obvious lies. As is the FT skipping actually answering Mikey's statement.
Even funnier and also not printed in the FT, our boy from Alphaville wades in to dispute Mikey's statement. So Mikey EASILY spanks them!!! and, just like a recent AV article, they have to step off, print a correction & and eat crow. A hah ha ha! 
TLDR: Eat it AV!!! ah ha ha ha ar ar ar ar oo0000!! you snotty fiat bigots, AV!! Like, think of what yer SAYING!! Dear lord, the stupidity of the irony.....
Finally, as per tradition, the FT tries to crank up a scary graph. Look USDT is rising!!! 
TLDR: the SEC scared Paxos into shutting down BUSD, without y'know, a trial, or even a successful lawsuit. This tanked the market share of BUSD. & now USDT is over 50% dominant in the stablecoin market cap world!! ooohhh scary!! NOT.
The REAL story: this is SO funny!! Once again, the dog not allowed to bark. The FT does not even MENTION their darling USDC, who lost billions in market cap after they sanctioned wallets who once touched T-cash without ever even being asked to do so!!! Right?? cause the REAL story here is the law of the markets stomping down on over-regulated coins. USDC had 54.5 billion in market cap when they stole very little money in "sanctions". From who? We don't know!! It probably included Vitalik, who admitted to being one of those people who gave 200 million to the Ukraine, many of them used T-cash!! Anyway, today USDC has a market cap of 42.5 bn they lost TWELVE BILLION (20%) in market cap!! RIGHT as USDT GAINED ten billion !!! AH ha ha HA HA HA HA!!! LMFAO!!
Mention THAT FT, THAT'S NEWS!!! & the judges agree, have another three out of five FTU's to add to y'alls stack!!!
We love it!! and we love y'all, cryptonauts. Take excellent care of yourselves, the times they are a changing!! & crypto winter is OVAH
Peace out,
love
Dave
please pretty please refer a pal!! thanks so much!!
Well, beat the drum and hold the phone - the sun came out today! We're born again, there's new grass on the field. A-roundin' third, and headed for home, it's a brown-eyed handsome man; Anyone can understand the way I feel. CHORUS: Oh, put me in, Coach - I'm ready to play today; Put me in, Coach - I'm ready to play today; Look at me, I can be in Centerfield. 
Well, I spent some time in the Mudville Nine, watchin' it from the bench; You know I took some lumps when the Mighty Casey struck out. So Say Hey Willie, tell Ty Cobb and Joe DiMaggio; Don't say "it ain't so", you know the time is now. CHORUS Yeah! I got it, I got it! Got a beat-up glove, a homemade bat, and brand-new pair of shoes; You know I think it's time to give this game a ride. Just to hit the ball and touch 'em all - a moment in the sun; (pop) It's gone and you can tell that one goodbye! peace out, love Dave
