Cryptonauts, we love you. Keep on keeping on with tha separation of church, money and state, baby!!! Today's reading music with love for our time here on the Holiday Pub 0x!!! TLDR: 1 minute & 31 seconds of cover song transcendence by the Me First and the Gimme gimmes!!! This one's for you, cryptofolk!!! What a wonderful world we live in...
Changing crypto coverage one click on one chitpost at a time, the Watch Army cannot be denied!!
Hey, Tradfi Polysci corruption funnies!! The Secretary General of the International Trade Union joins the monkeyshines, getting busted for taking giant backhanders in cash from former MEP Antonio over the Qatar soccer scandal!!! That's funny!!!
Better still, TSB outsourced their IT, and screwed up the project SO bad they just got fined 50 million for locking clients out of their funds!!! Personally, that's funny. Jerks. Dollars for financial technology, #$(#@$$#& !!!! 
TLDR: they already spent 350 MM extra on this mess!!
Better still, Wells-Fargo!!!
It's FUNNY, RINSE & REPEAT fraud!!! Wells Fargo PAYING almost FOUR BILLION in fines for various @#($*#$ they pulled, since 2011, but mostly around 2016 when they opened millions of fake accounts. But they also applied fake charges and even illegally seized homes and cars!!!
Dear readers know we may be crazy, but the FT's gaming column REFUSES to mention crypto in games!! Which is FUNNY by this point!!! Here they mention a dev, Paradox. Now Paradox has a whole blockchain metaverse ecosystem thing happening. Will the FT mention THAT?? #$#@($@#&*$ NO of COURSE NOT!!! 
TLDR: Yes, the FT pays a gaming writer who would rather extoll the merits of communism than having to mention the realities of crypto. At this point, yes we lob an FU or two and deny any review from the Judges.
Lotta action online: Clients of FTX, especially BlockFi, really want their FTX trading accounts released. 
TLDR: Celsius let cash accounts go back to depositors. But anyone who had asked for interest on the EARN program is having their funds mixed into the flying monkey lawyer and zombie execs slush fund. Only pennies on the dollar ever come out of THAT, the exec lawyer team does a good job!!!
Now FTX clients want their funds back. But maybe ten billion is missing from the Almeda / FTX / investor Mongolian clusterf**k!! Plenty of knife wounds to go around in this one!! Who the $(#&$#(. knows if BlockFi the trader should get money ahead of BlockFi the investor vs BlockFi the Almeda client?? Well, happy lawyers will decide the case law, but not like SOON or anything!!!! Ar ar ar !!!
In even more funnies, ten of the 16 billion FTX had "left' was transferred to Almeda right quick at the last second?? 
Next up online! Aww, how cute, it's an ex reg calling for more regs!!! Shocker. We remember THIS jerk, his last article lied by omission that Binance was legit in the Netherlands!!! while he whinged about France accepting Binance. This jerk called crypto a rippoff. This jerk is the POSTER BOY for the FCA thwarting the dreams of PMs to have London regain the fintech heavyweight championship of the world!!! Here, no-one ever prints his picture so we will, look at his happy go lucky puss face
anyway, what tripe is he spouting today ??? 
TLDR: FT anti-crypto narrative flat roof pub meat Christmas special!! We just feel BAD for this dude, he STEALS FROM HIMSELF and copypastas THE EXACT SAME DIATRIBE THAT OFFENDED US LAST SUMMER!!!! AR ar ar ar AR!!! He pretends like the Dutch scolded Binance, when in fact they set up Binance to be good to go for less than the failed UK effort spent on compliance staff and office expenses!! No-one but political enemies of Macron are against Binance in Paris. & HOW can you mention the FCA denying BInance without mentioning that the PMs want a crypto City!! AND that London was the NUMBER ONE geolocation losing money to FTX!!! AH HA HA HA !! AND that when the pound sterling headed for it's ATL this year, the UK traded a billion pounds off the GBP to BTC on BitMex, meaning the UK got exactly ZERO in tax revenues on all that lovely commish!!! 
For those playing FT copypasta bingo at home - have a shot for Binance is bad because they have no single corporate HQ!! Another for pretending their controls are no good, another for rehashing Mazars folding under political pressure. Have a DOUBLE shot for "let it burn!!" Have a shot for a lie: Tough new rules bespoke to crypto are needed at speed because Sammy stole clients assets!! Have a shot for "guardrails!!" Seven is enough for now, stay with us, drinkie fish!! 
The REAL story: Our reg hammerer recalls that Lehman and MF Global had a problem with misappropriating client funds. Don't stop there - go on!! Say how EXISTING laws were broken then & now. While invoking Lehman, invoke crooked regulators, crooked accountants supposedly WAY bigger & better than Mazars!! Invoke crooked quasi-governmental ratings agencies, mention how Lehman total claims were ONE AND A HALF TRILLION!!!
& HOW can this rat mention MF & yet ignore mentioning how Jon Corzine, who stole client funds, broke PLENTY of existing laws, cratered the 175 year old venerable MF Global - Corzine never went to JAIL !!! Because he was a totally hooked up Dem politician!!! WHAT a parable.
Five of five FU's for this steaming lazy pile, Judges thought we would ask for nine so they allow five!!
NEXT: miners going down means NADA!! 
TLDR: Was Core not already down & out!! Ah ha ha, they will keep operating anyway so we can see this article again and again and again, yawn. It's funny Core was a BlackRock SPAC, which is hilarious in and of itself!!! Other miners are down too, lenders are writing nasty letters to management who denies them!!!
Finally, it's a Christmas miracle!! Maybe Sammy will go to Rikers ah HA HA HA HA!!! or maybe Mommy gets him bail with all the lovely cash her best boy wired her. 
TLDR: NYC won't need AC so bad this time of year at least. Sammy's three day stubble looks funny!!! Ar ar ar ar !!! 
We love y'all, gotta go to sleep, long day & big day tomorrow!! Take intense care of yourselves, the Watch Army needs you, it matters!!!
peace out
love,
Dave
please refer a friend! thank you!!!!! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
Follow us on Twitter we will follow you back!!! @davidsawyer
Cryptonauts -there's a land that we're sure of from once in a lullaby !!! Or something.
Love,
Dave
