Cryptofans we love you!!! Give yourselves some love for lifting humanity above fiat!! While the stunningly sleek Publish0x algo tries to teach us to leave out the not funny parts! We love every hot second being with y'all here!!! We are so happy, just doing the neutron dance fams!! Reading musicTLDR: ahh that's better.
Today's FT crypto counterpoint: BTC prints ON A MONDAY!!! thanking you mighty Watch Army!! over 17000!! yeaaaaa baby!! Ruh roh, crypto teaser on the front page. Next to a MASSIVE tradfi corruption story: 
TLDR: it was funny last week in TradFI corruption jokeland, some leader in Africa was looking bad as he had a half million stashed in the couch in his game reserve camp. & it was stolen, or it maybe was ALWAYS stolen, we dunno!!! Never reported on it cuz when WE have a game camp with a big leather couch, we kinda want a half million stuffed in there TOO!
But NOW it's MUCH funnier, Euro MEP's getting locked up, another half million in cash floating around!!! Quatar paid some backhanders, guess THAT's how ya host the beer & rainbow tournament when ya don't allow beer. Or rainbows!! It was only ITALIAN MPs tho, corruption is kind of a tradition there isn't it really, observe the local laws lol!!! MUCH MUCH funnier STILL is ALSO on the front page, ex PM David Cameron hotwiring a 140 million loan from Credit Suisse to Dave's company Greensill, ar ar ar, we now learn based on TOTALLY BOGUS invoices denied by the other companies!!! Yeah, about 200x funnier aar ar ar ar OOOOOO!!!
So, anti crypto narrative, cue the agit prop lesson!!! Pic with scary red background and depressed, suicide note slant down to the right? CHECK!!! 
TLDR; 90K bitcoin fled CEX's last month, the greatest outflow ever. The FT hyperventilates: it is not clear if the coins are being sold!!!
Rehash FTX crashing, John Ray whinging, and number go down. Round up ALL the neggies!! Moody's put Coinbase's bond rating on review last month, you know!! Eric at Standard Chartered sez more crypto firms and exchanges will bankrupt, leading to a collapse in investor confidence in digital assets.
The REAL story: see the graph? Looks like holdings outflow like this happened three times since Jan 2021, what's the big deal? Yes, lazy monkees should NOT leave all their coins stashed on a CEX. A DEX maybe lol but not a CEX.
It's funny, are they being sold!!! NO, else they would have BEEN SOLD them on the price setting CEXs!! The FT hilariously once said maybe it's a plot, a giant fake out, that it looks like loads of smaller holding wallets are being fired up!! No, FT. It's reat. It's Binancers listening to CZ when he said take yer coins out and keep them in a non-custodial wallet, Trust would be fine.
Let us say, BTW, scr-w Eric and Standard Chartered. Standard Chartered, the hypocrites, have been bumbling around for a year trying to launch a cheezy relabled custody service. Remember them from last week? Not in the FT!! This is the report the FT is quoting: 
TLDR: Yeah?? Well the CME has some futures for y'all to buy then, Eric, knock yerself out, we will watch. Even the BTC hating FT knows they would lose credibility with THAT bs. If the powers that be could have crashed BTC below 10K, they WOULD have already. IN the FT: Eric sez the bitcoin selloff has decelerated. Geez, that's a pompous, weaselly way to say STOPPED. Have two FU's for this pile, FT.
Next is what passes for humor, marketing humor, at the expense of crypto. It's funny, arseholes like the imaginary PR firm are NOT getting crypto accounts; 
TLDR: it's the same old narrative tired arse points. This author wants the FT anti-crypto narrative flat roof pub spoiled meat prize pretty bad. Bingo cards ready? Money laundering, Ponzi schemes, lose your life savings, stance against London as a crypto hub, never see your money again, cheering for regulation, what's that, six shots? We are bored. This article descends all the way down to saying crypto spokespeople are, and we quote, " ready to gobble back a kangaroo's anus". OK, FT, we will leave y'all alone for THAT action. And HOW would you KNOW!!! Yer true colors are showing, we are OUT, have six out of five FU's.
ONLINE!! Wow, look at that neggy crypto headline!! 
TLDR: more boredom from Ignite. Inside baseball Oz ETF chat, who cares? The headline lists five crypto ETFs shutting down.
The REAL story: We DON'T care!! NOT in the FT - link below - Betashares broke the ASX ETF RECORD when they dropped their Crypto Shares product, pulling 8 million in 45 minutes. Betashares and GlobalX have plenty of crypto ETFs, and they ain't going ANYWHERE. Have a boring FU for the boring bias, FT.
Next online - D'oh! D'ohs gonna get caught in SERBIA!! 
TLDR: Dang, we though D'oh was in Dubai!!! Funny, he broke radio silence to whinge about how Sammy borrowed billions of UST from Genesis, who bought it from the Luna Foundation Guard under false pretenses!! Rules in a knife fight, really D'oh!
Anyway, the Serbian cops are being called in. D'oh is hoping he sufficiently bribed the right ones right about now!!! Like Sammy did!!!
The FT closes with boring anti-crypto trivia like it's the end of the world. The fourth or fifth largest specifically Korean exchange is fading, and some local chitcoin bit the dust, like anyone CARES, FT. The REAL story! no FU's, but no thank yous either.
Cause it's ALL GOOD cryptonauts!! We are UP TO DATE with the world's greatest financial news!! Unless ya count Bloomberg, some days the WSJ, and most days the Publish0x, lol!!! 
We love y'all!! have a great sleep when you do!! Crypto winter is over, it's just a late spring !!
Peace out,
love,
Dave
please PLEASE refer a friend! thanks!! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg
Follow us on Twitter we will follow you back!!! @davidsawyer
I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance I know there's a pot of gold for me
All I got to do is just believe
I'm so happy doin' the neutron dance
And I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance Whoo oooh
I'm so happy (it's in my hands)
I'm just burning (it's in my feet)
I'm so happy (it's all over me)
I'm just burning (I can't help myself)
