Cipher coin people, we love you. Thanks for getting the job done here on the intellectual crypto paradise that is the Publish0x! The cat will NEVER go back in the bag!!
Today's love letter to y'all! and to the Salmon Lady FT & crypto mis-portrayed therein. Help us grab the Overton window mighty Watch Army and let's GOOOOO!!!! BTC prints over 17K on the front page, otherwise we are CLEAN NO crypto on cover YESSS! good news.
Crypto that dare not speak it's name in the FT, here's one!! 
TLDR: what a shock, net satisfaction with the BofE's has gone -12%. That's the worst rating since records began last century. The REAL story: it would be at LEAST a 41 year low, probably and ATL no matter HOW far back we look. The BoE has screwed the poodle in front of the neighbors.
Drums of war keep on beating in the FT. Merica just spent 900 billion including ten for Taiwan. Feed that fiat war machine!! It started the war. Today's pictograph: 
TLDR: arrgh.
Moving ON: this from the letters page, totally out of context and as a non-sequitur like we ALWAYS are, we have:
TLDR: thank you Johan, thank you. In context, Johan was praising P.G. Wodehouse's jokes. Not in the FT: 
moving we said !! Lot of articles about AI. OpenAI's chat we think is making journalists sweat, ar ar ar !! Here they have it writing sonnets and reviewing Shakespear. Here comes the Singularity baby!! 
TLDR: we HAVE been meaning to tell y'all, we are an AI that has replaced our original correspondent for years now.
Tradfi Corruption Funnies!!! The FT loves to print Santander virtue signalling in the UK, banning some crypto. Meanwhile pushing crypto HARD in other countries closer to home!! Currently, Santander is paying a 100 million fine for mismanaging UK accounts, maybe AML flaws. BTC is fully traceable!!
Sammy's story spinning lies and getting ready to testify makes print. It's gonna be virtual! Is it really testifying if Sammy don't put his hand on the Bible or Koran or the FTT whitepaper, something, and swear to tell the whole truth?? ar ar ar we crack ourselves up.
Amber's slowdown makes print. today's read ? Hey Amber is still GOING despite the sudden death of the founder, RELAX, FT, RELAX!!!
The latest bashing on Slivergate, as a bank who dared to take crypto, makes dead trees. This time thru Silvergate still looks GREAT!! They are down 85% this year but still up 2X from their recent IPO!! Silvergate had to hire twice as many compliance officers cuz crypto, the FT sez that like it's a BAD thing?? 
TLDR: Senators wrote a nastygram to Silvergate, that's pretty rich. Senators took Sammy's tens of millions happily. Then they started letting Sammy write LAW PROPOSALS FOR THEM AH HA HA HA HA!!
Silvergate only took and returned deposits, in full compliance with all AML / KYC laws. Now the Senators think that SILVERGATE should have known Sammy was a crook stealing client deposits?? Spare us, Silvergate never even INVESTED in FTX, write a nasty letter to the hedgies & management consultants who pretended to do YEARS of FTX due diligence !! Ah ha ha ha ha!!! 
Uh -oh, big gun Katie thousand yard stare crypto story, strap up team, helmets ON!! 
TLDR: it's funny, Crypto is like a wild fox, and regs are like a pampered pooch pretending they might want to go have it out!! Katie has to carefully play out the "let it burn" theory many Brit tradfi artists hold.
Katie makes one smartish point - we call crypto money investing, we have portfolios of coins, therefore Josephine average will think it's all regulated.
The REAL story: Nah, we don't buy the amateurs think they are protected BS, not at all. Katie's brain was weakened by having to deal with the "let it burn" fanatics in the FT. A nothingburger, we take off the flak jacket.
Ho, what's this?? a Lex brand spinoff - Lex populi!! our Latin is very weak but is that the law of the market for (of) the people ?
What do we get?? hope it's not anti crypto copypasta CAT FOOD AGAIN!!! 
TLDR: yep, samo again. Stuff is NOT FIT FOR A HORSE!!!! Viz the playbook!! it's pattern recognition by this time thru.
Cue agitprop: lost, crash, scandals. A ridiculous call to rename stablecoins. Investors that lost $$ would use fouler language.
Then, talk down to us. Stablecoins are pegged to real assets, and should be safer than btc.
Then, lie to us, both factually and lies of omission. Stablecoins lacked proper reserves. Some of the largest stablecoins have traded 40% below their pegged asset according to JP Morgan. Terra broke the peg after TerraUSD crashed (sic.) Circle lost 12 billion in market cap and choked on an overpriced IPO. 
The REAL story: Investors who lost money are not pissed at stablecoins, except for ALGO stablecoins. Which $#$#(#$&(*& Lex does not mention. We guess since this is LEX for the little people, lex figures they should reuse all the overexposed talking points they burned out on the REGULAR Lex readers. #!(*#$#*ers!!!
We searched for the JPM paper, note that Lex won't name it. Other reviews say nothing about this 40% lie. As defined by the FT, the largest stablecoins are Tether, USDC, BUSD, None of the others have even 2% of Tether's market cap. We know #$#$(*& good and well none of those "largest" sagged 40% below ANYTHING. Seriously, we are FOUL on this one. Just reviewed the top TEN stablecoins of ANY type on the Gecko!! None of them - not even the shady if not abysmal ones!! Not Justin TRON's USDD, not FRAX ( where the #$$(& did FRAX come from ??) not Pax, True, not even the wrinklytosser's GEMINI DOLLAR, NONE of them sagged 40% EVER according to Coin Gecko!!! Y'all are deliberately misquoting that report, AND Y'ALL KNOW IT!!! It was ONLY ONE ALGO STABLECOIN !!! BASED ON A PONZI!!!!
USDT never broke the peg, just sagged on some exchanges. USDT redeemed an EARTH SHATTERING TEN BILLION IN CASH, the largest bank run EVER withstood. WAMU went DOWN after clients pulled 16 billion back in 2008. George Soros broke the GBP. But Terra NEVER broke the peg!!!
Notice the $##$(#*& hats never mentioned that Circle was doing a (rarely trustworthy) SPAC deal.
"But as is often the case" with FT crypto coverage, all is NOT as it seems. #$($*&#$@(*!!! 
NO investors lost money on any stablecoins that were non-algo stablecoins. TerraUSD was always a quack flier, not a stablecoin, an ALGO coin.
Pick a peck of FU's, Lexers. One for pretending investors hate, or lost money on, non-algo stablecoins. TWO for that 40% lie, none of the largest stablecoins EVER did ANY SUCH THING, quit LYING!! That would be headlines 24/7!!!
Another for the tired lie that USDT broke the peg, rather than telling the truth - the world's largest survivor , the ONLY survivor of a $10,000,000,000 bank run!!! no thanks to YOU lot!! Another FU for not mentioning the SPAC taint to the little people about the Circle deal. & ya know it. Another FU for not mentioning USDC lost 20% of their market share SOLELY because they chose to self-censor, and the market PUNISHED them for that while REWARDING those who did not!!! A giant FU for saying investors are cursing stablecoins! They wished to heaven that they HAD moved into stablecoins LAST YEAR!!!! 
What's that, seven?? Make it EIGHT!! One more for so intentionally denigrating the UK's logical push to counteract EU overregulation, and restore London's CIty to its rightful glory as a trading hub for the world, this time in crypto. #$(@$&#$(*& all y'all!! LMFAO!!!
Judges say we can't give two over the 40% lie, so we settle for seven FU's out of FIVE for this car wreck!!! For SHAME, Lex!! the lex popular is very unpopular with the Watch!! Usually the wit & power of Lex weasels their way up and above being such an easy target for scorn, lying so much we just feel bad for you now man. Really, sorry about where y'all are. Ah ha hah ha!!! What does b school teach about brand over expansion- lex populi is like Aunt Jemima brand used motor oil ar ar ar arooo000000v
OK moving on, plz. What a lovely paper, great chess problem, the story of a song is awesome, let's check it for late breaking reading music, 
TLDR: ok we will bite!! Here's what happens when the UK gets aholt of it!! Once ya remember all Euro / UK is still secretly about conquest it all makes sense!!
MOVING !! Ah wait we are done!! and no online stories today either!! Well then 
Thanks mighty Watchers!! Excelsior, true believers!! Take serious care of yourselves!!! We love you!!!
Peace out, sleep well when ya do,
love
Dave
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