When asked where Leeds is, Derek tends to reply in the county of West Yorkshire. When challenged further, Derek falls into a swaying, lilting cadence:

Horsforth, Morley, Rothwell, Otley,
Wetherby, Pudsey, Beeston, Seacroft,
Armley, Farnley, Headingley cum Burley,
Roundhay, Wharfedale, Shadwell, Here.

Derek likes to consider the careful arrangement of places that might be Leeds as part of his contribution to  It's Grim Up North released, October 28th 1991, by the Justified Ancients of Mu Mu. Leeds, Derek reasons, needs to be a deeply mythologised place if it is to be valued on any kind of transtermporal block chain. The photograph, in the New Musical Express, November 2nd 1991, of graffiti, that led to an Early Day Motion in the House of Commons had always impressed Derek as the epitome of how to advertise. The Member of Parliament for Bassetlaw, Nottingham had, for some reason proposed a motion to the House, which read:

That this House calls on the Secretary of State for Transport to remove the huge white painted graffiti on the bridge over the M1 on the northbound carriageway just north of the M25 junction which reads - Its Grim Up North, or alternatively arrange to add the words, Gruesome in the Midlands, and Nowt but Homeless Folk in Cardboard Boxes in London, to restore a fair regional balance during the next election.

That kind of advertising -early day motion 1281 - Derek remarked, could never be bought. Especially not from the Member of Parliament who forced the Houses of Parliament to institute a register of Members' Financial Interests. In April 1974 he had been found in serious contempt of Parliament for suggesting that Members of Parliament were 'for hire'. He was appalled by corruption. The Member for Bassetlaw, Joe Ashton, would have been appalled with Derek.

Derek had, for some time, considered making a limited run one sided pressing, white label, twelve inches of a modified version of It's Grim Up North with his additional verse inserted. Given the practical outcome of time travel, it would be believed to be the original. Especially if he could persuade Pete Wylie to record it. Derek even knew when: December 22nd 1978. The missing "Crash Course" tapes from that date would, Derek claimed, would be a fair exchange for a few spoken words. Derek had spent an unsavoury amount of time dwelling on the matter.

Falsifying history is a morally dubious undertaking. Derek suggested that a Register of Time Travellers' Interests would be necessary some time ago. He was considering the implication of Fermi's Paradox: the seeming contradiction that develops from a conflict between the argument that scale and probability imply intelligent life is common in the universe coupled to a lack of available evidence of intelligent life having ever arisen anywhere other than on Earth; and, the comparable notion regarding Time Travellers. Unlike Stephen Hawking, who organised a party for Time Travellers, on June 28th 2009, and observed the lack of attendance proved time travel was inexistent.

Derek observed that a Party, even for time travellers, needs music. A kicking track with sick beats, said Derek, quoting some slang from some time or other, is what is needed for a good party. Pete Wylie has the singularly most appropriate voice for such a party. Derek pointed out that the Time Travellers might well not have an interest in June 28th 2009. Which is where the need for a Register of Interests comes in. If a Time Traveller were to have an interest in partying with Stephen Hawking, at University of Cambridge Gonville & Caius College, Trinity Street, Cambridge, they would merely need to register the interest. This would make many worlds' interpretations unnecessary and Stephen Hawking could be absolved of any suspicion of murdering Time Travellers to preserve the space time continuum.

Derek, for all his sensible suggestion, was using the idea of a Register of Interests to push the notion of a Temporal Blockchain Ledger of Time Travellers Interests, also called Chronocrypto. For all the apparent nobility of the enterprise, Derek was simply using Time Travel as a means to promote a pump and dump scheme. His idea of a Register of Interests would simply place people - such as Joe Ashton - on a publically readable record that could be used to generate a huge and growing profit. Derek, after all, is a bit of a spiv.

The mugging was not, realistically, me doing anything other than the wet work for Derek's avaricious plan. The details were not apparent to me, but there had to be some chain of events that the mugging set in motion. That causal chain would lead to an Initial Token Offering which would inflate the price of whatever the token was, is, or will be - inevitably leading to some hoard of Croesus: a king of Lydia who reigned for fourteen years and provided the Ancient Greeks with an important fixed point in their calendar.

The Pub Crawl in Leeds in the 1980s was simply a test ledger for a much larger pump and dump scam. The mugging for £100 was, possibly, a distraction. A clever distraction with a lot of detail. Derek, as it has been pointed out, is good at detail. The actual Blockchain Ledger for Chronocrypto would embody distinct space time events with distinct Temporal interests. Which all suggested the Pub Crawl was significantly more important than simply getting drunk to ensure that someone was the smartest person in the building.

Mugging Derek was, I realise, a crime against the humanity.

Derek Gives Up On Time Travel: How It All Became An Initial Token Offering.
Derek Gives Up On Time Travel: How It Became A Big Reveal Too Far.
Derek Gives Up On Time Travel: How it All Became A Chore.
Derek Gives Up On Time Travel: How It All Became Curiously Repetitious.
Derek Gives Up OnTime Travel: How It All Came To A Bit Of A Head.
Derek Gives Up On Time Travel: How It All Became Personal.
Derek Gives Up On Time Travel: The Thickening Of The Plot.
Derek Gives Up Time Travel: How It All Became Tense.
Derek Gives Up Time Travel: How It Unravelled.
Derek Gives Up Time Travel: How It Got All Complicated.
Derek Gives Up Time Travel: How It All Began.