Derek, in a caravan, in Wales, had spent a month considering some data.
His first clue, he said, was that he changed his Darwin Notes for Jane Austin Notes on 1 March 2018 and then again changed his Darwin Notes for Florence Nightingales on 20 May 1994. That meant that there had been some ontological bifurcation in his time line.
When the Pandemic hit again, Derek went to the caravan in Wales. Derek swears by caravans. The caravan in Wales is the single best place to be quarantined away from the rest of the World. According to Derek. Quarantine has been good to Time Travellers.
Derek reasoned that 1st March 2018 Darwin to Austen and 31st July 2003 Darwin to Dickens meant there was a timeline in which he had travelled forwards to get to the 1st of March 2018. Which meant he was on the way back from the past. There was no other reason to change Darwins for Austens than to spend them after 2018. Just as there was no other reason to change Darwins to Dickens other than to spend them before 2003.
This kind of complication could have been avoided if Derek had used a Ledger not a Diary.
That left the 20th May 1994 Dickens to Nightingales and 31st May 1979: Nightingale to Lions transactions. The 1979 transaction where he got mugged.
Derek is not too bright. Derek is mad as a barrel of oiled monkeys. Derek is not stupid. Derek is persistent.
There is some subtle distinction, there. Derek likes to drink beer, smoke fags and talk shite. Which is why he likes Pubs in the 1980s. Especially Pubs in Leeds. The 1980s, in Leeds, was a place and a time where phrases like "drink beer, smoke fags, and talk shite" were perfectly acceptable. You really need your wits about you for such things. Particulary for talking shite. That can lead to trouble. But you do not need to be an intellectual giant. Just persistent.
Derek had narrowed down his temporal peregrinations to some event between the 20th May 1994 travelling backwards to the 31st May 1979. He narrowed it down to the actual 1980s because, as he recalled, it was before he frequented the Duchess Of York Pub.
Derek had seen Nirvana, Oasis, Pulp, Manic Street Preachers, Radiohead, Coldplay, Green Day and Muse at the Dutchess Of York. It was his Breaking Bands period. Which, he proudly announced, was before his epic Fourteen Stations Of The Crass Pub Crawl in the 1980s. An announcement only available to Time Travellers. Derek consulted a stack of Central Electricity Generating Board Diaries, enumerated a list of Pubs and declared the Dutchess Of York to be innocent. His Breaking Bands period was off the hook. Derek insisted he could only have met the mugger with the mohican between 1980 and 1985: the Stations of the Crass Pub Crawl period.
Derek had visited fourteen Leeds Pubs as a religious satire. Derek called it 'non-fungible tokenism' and waved his hands. A lot. Dereks plan had been to take the week of his birthday and crawl fourteen Leeds Public houses, preferably getting drunk on the cask ales of Josiah Tetley and Son Limited. Which meant his tenners would all be Nightingales.
Derek ponders on but gets there. Eventually. It took the whole month of August to track down a simple proposition. Derek met the mugger with a mohican in the Pub, in Leeds, some time between June 1980 and January 1985. The quantity of wool needed to determine this revelation might have been better employed making gloves and a scarf. Derek did not appreciate that comment.
When someone leans into your personal space, reeking of stale beer and cigarette smoke from a 1980s Leeds Pub, you should reevaluate some of your life choices. You should also be acutely aware you are being intimidated by a Time Traveller. This is not so much advice as observation. When a Time Traveller leans into your personal space, in a caravan, in Wales, through a tangle of colour coded wool, you know your life choices may need more than reevaluation.
I looked at the list Derek had scribbled out.
01. 1985. 01. 03. The Albion.
02. 1981. 11. 05. The Allerton.
03. 1984. 01. 03. The Cross Green.
04. 1983. 10. 06. The Eldon.
05. 1981. 07. 02. The Faversham.
06. 1982. 03. 04. The Fountain Inn.
07. 1982. 06. 01. The Gipton.
08. 1982. 10. 07. The Grove.
09. 1982. 04. 01. The Headrow.
10. 1980. 06. 05. The Queen.
11. 1982. 02. 04. The Roscoe.
12. 1982. 09. 02. The Scarbrough Hotel.
13. 1981. 12. 03. The Station.
14. 1981. 08. 06. The Vine.
I reevaluated my life choices.
Derek was never really good at lists. Derek is not stupid but not bright. It took five minutes looking at the 2023, 1980, 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984, and 1985 diaries to work out three things: Derek visited the pubs in alphabetical order. Derek restricted his pub crawl to Thursday night. Derek was not mugged outside a bank. Thursday Night, in Leeds, in the 1980s was Benefit night. People got their benefits cheque in the morning. They cashed it in the Post Office in the afternoon. They went to a pub in the evening. I worked out a fourth thing.
Derek was testing a Cryptocurrency for Time Travellers.
How it Unravelled
