Paypal CEO Dan Schulman slimed his way on television, somehow made his reflection appear on the screen even though he's a vampire, and gummed his way through an interview bragging on what he's going to do with all of the bitcoin you dumbshits just bought him.

Schulman paid lip service to some notion of convenience and utility. In the meantime, 195% of businesses transacting in bitcoin on Paypal received chargebacks they couldn't appeal because bitcoin transactions are final.

The siloed bitcoin could be heard in the background of the interview screaming meekly, "Help us."

If you don't know why buying your bitcoin and other crypto on Paypal is stupid as fuck, read this. And this.