There are SO many things I want to thank my anxiety and depression for.
Back in the 2000’s/2010’s I was plagued by these 2 but had no idea what it was (swipe 4 old photos). #anxietytips wasn’t exactly a hashtag then! But in many ways these hard states helped shape me into who I am today and I wouldn’t change a thing.
So I’d like to thank depression & anxiety for:
- social awkwardness that led to a deep sense of pride in my independence and self/reliance. Evolving forward I have been able to integrate more friendships but I haven’t lost my sense of being able to entertain and sustain myself without a crowd.
- keeping me indoors/on the computer. While it wasn’t healthy, it allowed me to spend hours upon hours probably equivalent to 5 years of my life on earth or more if you added it up, immersing myself in video editing. If I hadn’t put in the time in those early years I would’ve been incapable of doing it with ease today with my yoga videos
- missing parties in college/staying in. Instead of drinking away my college experience I was dedicated to my studies/personal goals. This set the stage to show me what I was capable of but also set the stage for a deeper depression and downfall after college because I didn’t know how to bring skills from class/college extracurricular into the “real world.” Because of that I never got my “dream job” to work in reality TV 😂 & instead got to experience moving back to my small town, confronting my demons, & eventually finding my way to film school which was one of the biggest turning points of my life, setting the stage for even more healing and building skills & confidence.
This was all divinely perfect for me.
While I no longer feel depression, I certainly have to deal with anxiety forever, even as I have managed to completely change my lifestyle & feel like I have a lot of control over it. I thank my anxiety today for the ways you are teaching me & uncovering old wounds that I can work through to grow and evolve.
Thanks so much for reading!
Much love,
Jenny
