If you have kept up with this blog, you may remember me posting about my husband breaking his heel the last week we were at camp, which required me to do most of the work to break down our campsite, drive the 2,000 miles back to our home, and then basically take over all his physical tasks once we got back home. Needless to say, I became a pressure cooker of mixed emotions with no place to really release them. I felt there was nowhere to go to relieve my stress. My home was normally a place where I could release my stress but had now become a contributor to the very stress I was carrying. I tried going to the gym a few times but even that didn't help.
My husband's sister blew into town in October for the long stretch of holidays, as she does every year. We are alike in many ways and very different in others. She tries very hard to see good in everyone and give them the benefit of the doubt. I try to do that as well, but I am far more cynical than she about people. Sometimes she proves me wrong and sometimes I prove her wrong. I have religious faith and a belief in God where she puts things out to the universe and tries to connect spiritually with it. I'm glad that works for her. When she saw how stressed I was, she nagged me to go to yoga with her, insisting it would help with my stress. I figured it couldn't hurt and might help, and at that point, I was willing to try anything to help, so I went.
The roots of yoga date back to 800 BC. The word 'yoga' is described from the Sanskrit word meaning "yoke" or "union." The goal of yoga is to create a "union" between the body, mind, soul and a universal consciousness for the purpose of creating a deep sense of peace, freedom and self-realization. This is done through uniting the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of ourselves. Yoga is also a meditative process. Meditating is a part of yoga practice. I posted a link about yoga in the resources section below. I think it does a pretty good job explaining it.
My pre-conceived thoughts about yoga were that it was a bunch of stretching, new age-y chanting and maybe some things that smelled good. I assumed I would be stretched like a pretzel, needing to contort myself into strange positions that were humanly impossible. I assumed everyone at yoga would be thin and flexible and be able to do everything perfectly.
Only a bit of what I imagined yoga to be turned out to be true. Yes, our instructor was thin, but everyone else at the classes I attended in the next several weeks were not thin and young. They were older ladies with ample padding like me. We did have some essential oils put on our wrists, which I loved because they smelled nice. Only a few moves/poses made me feel like I was contorting myself like a pretzel, but I was able to do them.... somewhat. Finally, there is no 'perfect' way to do something. There is a basic pose or movement, and modifications based on your bodily limitations. I liked that because it wasn't an 'all or nothing' activity. It was definitely progressive in practice and progressions were honored, encouraged and taught. Our instructor kept checking in with me about my knee, which I told her was my 'bad' knee.
Before class began, I was speaking to the yoga instructor and explaining what was going on in my life and she said "You are stuck in 'fight or flight' mode. The light went on, and my sister-in-law immediately said "Yes! That's what it is." I had to agree because the minute she spoke those words, I knew that's what it was, why I was so very stressed. At that point I felt kind of emotional and vulnerable (something I really hate) but shouldered on through the class. I was surprised at how much I was able to do given my level of flexibility and considering I hadn't worked out all summer.
At the end of class, we did something called shavasana, where I stretched out on my mat like a corpse with a bolster pillow under my knees and an eye pillow covering my closed eyes. The instructor turned off the lights and changed the music to something more meditative and guided us through a meditation where we visualized relaxing atmosphere (I think the first time it was a peaceful meadow) and told us to repeat some positive affirmations to ourselves and to let go of things. It was then I found myself teary-eyed and weepy. I had no idea why, either. I guess I was finally giving myself permission to release the stress and fear that had been festering for several weeks. I did indeed shed a few tears and felt better for it.
At first, I felt stupid for being weepy, but then I reminded myself that I had stress from being overwhelmed with everything on my plate, had witnessed my husband's fall from a ladder 12 feet off the ground, and had a horrible few moments where I believed he was permanently seriously injured. All of this made me think about what could happen in our lives and how his being incapacitated would change our lives if he'd suffered a worse injury. Yeah, there were a lot of disturbing emotions running around in my head. I needed to let go of all that because those things that could happen are just part of life. It could have as easily been me falling the wrong way last year on my first attempt at downhill skiing in 30 years. You can't live a full life when you are always in fear. You have to live a life with a little healthy fear and a lot of faith.
At the end of class, I felt calmer, more at peace and like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was really skeptical and didn't expect it to help me that much, so this was a surprise.
And what did I learn in my first yoga class?
I learned that body awareness is really important, that I need to breathe and control involuntary muscle contraction, which can work against you. I learned that breathing the correct way is essential to good yoga practice, and that I sucked at breathing. Yes, you can suck at breathing when you are not expanding and contracting your body in the correct way or not taking deep enough breaths or inhaling when you should be exhaling. I also learned that yoga practice uses a lot of muscles, even when you are in a move designed to lengthen or stretch a muscle. At the end of my first class, I felt like I had worked out at the gym, and the next day had sore muscles to prove it. I learned that yoga is indeed a 'practice', that you are 'practicing' to improve your posture and the way you flow and move. I learned that I have trouble keeping stray thoughts out of my head, so I need the meditation practice. I need all of what yoga has to offer.... period.
Our instructor teaches twice a week, and I go to both classes. They are never, ever the same class. I think this is a nice change from going to the gym to lift weights. I even walk to my class these days, which is less than a mile from my house.
A few weeks after my initial class, I decided I wanted to practice yoga three days a week, so I have taken three classes from a yoga instructor on YouTube. Her channel is Yoga by Kassandra. The first one I tried was a yin yoga class which is more of a stretching and holding the stretch class and the other two were regular yoga classes that covered strength, balance and flexibility. All the classes I took had 'beginning' in the title and were great beginner classes. These classes do not require you to have any yoga props (like yoga blocks or yoga straps). Here are two of the classes I took on YouTube if you are interested in seeing if yoga is for you:
One Hour Beginner Yoga for Strength, Balance and Flexibility-Yoga by Kassandra
One Hour Full Body Yoga Stretch-Yoga by Kassandra
Hope you give it a try!
Namaste
(Photo courtesy of Prasanth Inturi)
