There is no doubt in anyone's mind that three years of COVID precautions, lockdowns, and mandated whatevers caused most of our lives to detour on a side trip that interrupted the daily course of our lives. Life had changed. Even though we will never approach illness the same way again, our lives are getting back to a new normal now, with respect to going about our daily activities and such.
The side trip impacted our health, too. One of my doctors told me that his patients gained an average of 15 pounds during COVID. This made me think of a TV show I watched that did a segment about transplant patients. The doctor described an organ transplant as trading an unmanageable disease for a manageable disease. This is what happened with COVID. At the time, we traded being less active and overweight, a disease which is manageable, with COVID, an illness that was unmanageable.
One of the things my husband and I gave up was international traveling and taking our bicycle(s) to Europe to do a bicycle tour there. This was something we (mostly he) wanted to do in retirement, never having taken the time or money to travel in Europe before retirement. Our first trip post-retirement was in 2018. I even wrote a blog post about part of it:
Getting Lost in Haarlem (that’s Haarlem with two “a”s)
I'm sure we could have made it work, but I don't think it would have been as enjoyable as our previous trip before COVID. There were too many restrictions, requirements, mandates and closures. I also did not want to be masked up for nine hours on a non-stop, international flight. Neither did my husband. It seemed far too stressful to attempt at that time, and a lot of money to spend for less enjoyment. I think we made the correct choice for us.
When COVID started making an appearance in 2020, we were in the process of planning our second European bike tour. We had been trying to plan a tour with some friends from Australia, who we met cycling in Europe back in 2018. The four of us just happened to be on the same cycling tour then, with different companies. We would all end up crossing paths at the same hotel each day. One hotel in France had a 'brewery' in the basement, with a few tables in the yard outside overlooking the Meuse River (see photo).
Our Aussie friends appeared, stopped by our table to introduce themselves, sat for a beer, and that was it. We spent the rest of our tour riding together, eating together and having a great time. We wanted to do this again with them. When we proposed a new trip to them in 2020, they were raring to go but very concerned about this corona virus that had popped up. Our Aussie friend told us she thought it was going to be declared a pandemic very soon (she is a nurse). My husband was adamant that it would be old news by year-end. He was very, very, wrong.
Fast forward four plus years later. Now we are back in the planning stages of a new European bicycle trip. When we talked about our plans with some friends, they, too, were excited and expressed an interest. Then some friends of theirs wanted to go, and my husband's single college buddy wanted to go. We also decided to invite our newfound cousins we met over Thanksgiving who like cycling. Suddenly we had a group of people wanting to go to Europe and ride around on bicycles with us. How fun is that? It is going to be awesome! I'm so excited!
My husband diligently put together a spreadsheet of options that we could all consider. There were several trips to consider from all over Europe, including the EL Camino de Santiago pilgrimage (something he wants to do that I'm not overly interested in), another trip to The Netherlands for people who want a flat ride, a ride down the Danube from Prague to Passau to Vienna to Budapest and one from Munich to Venice to Florence to Rome. Unfortunately, we discovered we cannot do the last option because it requires train ride over Brenner Pass, and the type of bike(s) we would bring to ride are not allowed on the train.
He had designed tours where some routes were two or three separate bicycle tours that could be done as one trip or as a whole tour because where one tour ended the next one started. He wanted there to be plenty of options depending on how long a tour someone may want to take. He put a lot of time and effort in trying to find something appealing for everyone in our little group.
When he was done, he sent out the spreadsheet to everyone thinking we had great options. I was excited, already having visions of an awesome time with friends, leisurely riding during the day, seeing great sights, eating fabulous food, drinking some great wine or beer to celebrate our accomplishment of a long ride that day.
A little over a week later, we realized that to most of the people excited about going on this trip, to them, the trip was a romantic idea to consider but not something they wanted to plan in a short period of time. One person already had plans for a European cruise that year. One spouse won't travel internationally. My dear friends, a married couple who have been with us on three US bicycle tours, really don't want to fly and decided to opt out of any tour that requires a plane ride. Our cousins decided they wanted to ride with us locally, first, to see how it was before they agreed to anything that significant. We have not heard from the final person, even after a prompt from my husband asking him what he thought about the options. I even reached out to another couple who we met on a bike trip and alas, their travel plans are set for this year.
This trip may end up being my husband, me and his newly divorced college buddy (if he responds). But I'm guessing it's going to be just us.
I'm a little sad, but that's okay, because we met some awesome people on our last bicycle tour. And I'm sure we will this time, as well.
For 25 years, with respect to my changing my obesity, I was those people who wanted to do the bike tour but didn't. It was a lofty, romantic goal that I was 100% convinced was beyond my reach. It was something that I wanted to do, something I knew would be great, but not something I believed I could actually do. I absolutely believed that if I committed to losing weight, one of two things would happen. One, I would lose the weight and would promptly gain it right back, so what was the point. Two, I would diet for months and maybe lose a few pounds because my body wouldn't let me lose weight. I systematically put these MENTAL obstacles and roadblocks in front of me. I prevented myself from becoming healthier. Me. I did that. I honestly believed those lies (because they are lies, no matter how convinced you are they are not) with the depth of my soul.
There are as many reasons we believe we can't lose weight as there are to not go on a bicycle tour around Europe. Most of them involve one thing: Fear.
That is what kept me obese. Fear.
Fear of failure.
Fear of putting in so much effort with little reward.
Fear of how I would change if I lost weight (would I want different things from life?).
Fear of how losing weight would change relationships I have.
Fear that I would have to diet for the rest of my life, and I wouldn't be able to live like that.
Fear of...
Fear that....
See how this goes? It's endless. Fear can paralyze us. Fear also disguises itself in our minds as something else. Rational excuse.
I want to make the point that fear can be a very healthy emotion when it is proper. It keeps us from doing dumb, dangerous stuff and keeps us safe when we need to make choices about our personal safety. However, it can keep us from growing and changing and becoming the person we are meant to be.
No one is ever done growing as a person, unless the choice is made to stop growing. I think I chose not to grow for many, many years and that choice kept me obese. It's a sad place to be stuck and not one I would recommend for anyone. I let fear influence me for many years. But ultimately, I overcame that with respect to my weight, and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. You can do it as well.
How about we let 2024 be the "Year of Less Fear?"
Taking Stock of Day 9:
Stayed under my daily calorie count.
Spent 1.5 hours at the gym for a strength training workout.
I bought a new dress and shoes that are my current size because my daughter is taking us out to a fancy restaurant in a few weeks. I haven't bought new 'dress up' clothes in years. It felt good.
(Photo Courtesy of 7th Decade Redhead - Meuse River, Haybes, France, September 2018)
