Sounds almost like the intro to a D&D play, but no … it is just the wonders of modern dating. 😉

Sorry for delay in uploads BTW, but I just had an extended fantastic and hot weekend with a man, who unexpectedly has stolen my heart, but more about him later. 😉

Like I wrote in my previous blog post, I had a real good time on that sex-dating-site. I had the most fun and surprising conversations with various men, and at that particular site it is relatively easy to distinguish the idiots from the more serious and potentially good men. Actually, it is much easier on a sex-dating-site than on normal sites, now I think about it.

But let’s start with the Priest, as the Magician will get a bigger part in the upcoming episodes.

The priest was also a okay handsome man, a bit older than me, but with my luck with the young guys so far, I thought that maybe he could be more fitting.

At first, he was very secretive. He didn’t want to tell me what he was working as, but said that had a respectable job, and had to be very discrete. I was wondering if he maybe was a politician or some other official of a kind, because he was very good at communicating and we had some good online-discussions even if it was a sex-dating-site.

Then we agreed on a date, and we met up in a coffee shop in a town between us.

After a while – and after he almost had me swear a pledge to never tell his secret (which I technically am violating now) – he told me that he was a priest. He had me guessing for a while before this revelation, but I wasn’t even close. I don’t know why, because he wasn’t catholic or anything, but it still surprised me.

We had this real fun conversation about heaven and hell, and especially Lucifer, who’s sagas I always have been fascinated with, but at some point, our conversation shifted over to dating and sex.

He told me that he has had several threesomes, been in swinger-clubs (is that even a term outside of Denmark and Germany?) and many other experiences. He was very adventurous for a priest.

But you know what characterizes a priest? At least here in Denmark where we have these stone churches with great acoustics? A priest speaks very loudly.

As in … VERY loud.

You can probably imagine me trying to crawl under the table as the other guests in the coffeehouse stared while Priest, who wanted to be soooo discrete, bellowed out his sexual experiences.

After the coffee, we went for a walk, and he was really funny and charming, so we ended up kissing each other and agreeing on a second date.

That date came and went, and … I must say … my assumption that older men maybe were better for me, was shot down. Hard.

First of all … he went up to pee about 3 or 4 times during our fun-time. Secondly … his ass was gone. He was only 51, but he had an ass like a man in his eighties.

And then there were the instructions. Oh Lord, the instructions!

More to the left, squeeze harder, squeeze softer, then right, then left, then up, then down. Instead of having sex, it felt like I was assembling an IKEA-furniture.

And here we have it again … after our encounter he wrote to me that he would very much like to see me again, because – and I quote – “I thought it was great, but with more instructions, it can be fantastic”.

Oh. My. God! How can you be so much out of tune? Or was it the instruction manual that kept you from being involved in the moment?

So that’s it! New dating rule. No more priests who speak loudly in public places and let me also just reconsider men my own age again! (This particular rule was relatively easy to comply with).

Luckily on a dating-site like this, there are always new possible partners. But I didn’t want a series of one-night stands. I wanted somebody like Doom, who was relaxed and clarified, fun and ready to play with our sexuality. Somebody who liked spending time on it. Taking it slow and have fun with it. And I wanted it to be a longer lasting “relationship” / friends with Benefits kind of thing. Somebody who also wanted something continuous.

Was it at all possible to find that kind of relationship? Especially on a site like this?

Then I came in contact with Loco, as I will call him hereafter. Not because he WAS Loco, but because he was a locomotive driver. He was fun, he was intelligent, he was handsome to look at and just a couple of years younger than me. Also newly divorced after a long marriage and not ready for settling down.

But he also wanted something continuous, something to evolve, and he had so many fantasies, that he would like to explore. He didn’t really want to tell me what they were but ensured me it had nothing to do with rape/dominance fantasies.

And what do you know … in his spare time he was a magician. 😉 Entertaining kids at birthday parties and on hospitals.

On our very first date, we went for a walk. It went really great, we laughed and had fun, and he was really nice. I liked him instantly and he was very much my type. Dark hair, brown eyes, handsome smile. I’m a sucker for those things.

At the end of the date, he played around with 3 red foam balls, making them disappear from one hand to another. Then there was one, two or none. I really tried to figure him out, but I never saw the balls switch, so he was very good at that.

At some point he made me hold out my hand and put one red foam ball in it (maybe the size of a ping-pong ball).

“Now, close your hand,” he said with a mischievous smile and put his hand over mine, closing it for me.
“Now close your eyes.”
I did as I was told, feeling a bit foolish, standing there with my eyes closed and a red foam ball in my hand at a date.
Then he rubbed my fists together, blew on them and asked me to open my eyes. He looked at me with a grin.
“I can read your mind,” he said, very seriously.
“Is that so?” I asked, I tried not to laugh, he was really cute as he stood there.
“Yep. In your hand, right now, is the one and only thing you are thinking of, after you met me.”

I opened my hand, and in my palm there lay a small red foam penis with two attached balls.

Like I said … I like the cheeky ones, and this move was so unexpected and fun, that I naturally accepted to a second date.

Want to hear more about his moves? 😉

Thumbnail from Janjf93 from Pixabay