BOSTON — Concerned residents reported what they describe as a “suspicious group of armed men who gather every Saturday afternoon” at Top Gun Shooting Range.

“It’s unsettling how much fun these men are having with their guns,” comments Arin Sapolsky. And others agree. Sapolsky and two other residents in the neighborhood notified law enforcement last week. They say they feel “unsafe” and wonder why the police department takes no action against the armed group.

“These men carry all sorts of guns… some big, long ones; some short skinny ones; and even ones that fit into your pocket! What are our police doing?!” Sapolsky shouted. “How can we feel safe when these threatening men crack jokes and smile like maniacs as they murder innocent cardboard people? Somehow this militia meetup business with “gun” and “shooting range” in the name doesn’t raise any suspicion with the police.”

Sheriff Jason Webber has tried, on multiple occasions, to assure residents that shooting ranges are places where people shoot guns and that it is common for people to bring firearms, bond, and laugh. Sapolsky, however, remains skeptical.

“It just doesn’t sit right with me.”