“The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich,
and he addeth no sorrow with it.”
Proverbs 10:22

I said goodbye to the church today.  It was sad, but also right.  I will miss this place.

Con Jiro y Cynthia

I wrote this note last month, because I thought I was going to be leaving then.  I don't remember the reasons for leaving at the time, but today it has to do with the loud, yippy dog outside my window.  It's never going to change, it wakes me up, and tempts me to lose my temper.  Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but it's a losing battle and it's clear there's no point in fighting it.  It's never going to be truly peaceful, and so Proverbs 10:22 simply doesn't apply.  A place doesn't have to be perfect for Proverbs 10:22 to apply, but being awakened (or kept awake) for 2-4 hours at a time all hours of the day and night is a dealbreaker.  I have been missing church because I wake up with a dog hangover, and if I lost my temper, I feel like the devil.  So I don't go out.  The dog has become an obstacle to my walk.

Con Gustavo

It's alright.  I am a viajero, un perro callejero, as my friend Jiro reminded me today, which is why I'm here in the first place.  Fortunately, it wasn't necessary to make a speech.  Nobody wept.  I just mentioned the possibility of my leaving during the prayer request section of the service today.  I didn't say everything I said in the note below, but I said most of it.  They said they missed me.  I told them it is mutual.

Con Claudio

Sometimes the rightness of a place can only be found in leaving it behind.  You learn what the place had to teach you, you make friends, you even move into a little shack with sketchy, intermittent amenities, but when it starts to get weird, even if only between yourself and your own mind, it's always best to head on down the line.  If it's necessary, it will be possible.

God will make a way.

Con Leyver

Anyway, here's the note.  Feel free to subscribe to the American Migrant Patreon for the next chapter.  Most of the upcoming journey will be visible to paid-only subscribers.  Whether you're a church cat or un perro callejero (or, like me, a little bit of both), hopefully you can find something in my travelogues, poems, articles, and songs (discography still 75% off!), that makes you feel a little less alone.

God knows I don't.

Con Fernando

Which isn't a bad thing.  I'm an extranjero down here, and enjoy being alone.  I am very rarely actually lonely.  Loneliness doesn't usually creep in until inertia takes its course, and I'm staring at the walls for longer than I should be.  As the famous scientist Fig Newton once observed, an object at rest will stay depressed, and while La Iglesia De Cristo in El Rosario de Arriba, Mexico is one of the strongest families of true believers I have ever seen, at the end of the day, not only am I a foreigner, but

I was on a roadtrip when I got here.  As I always am.  This place has been great, and it has been a true privilege to get to know these people.  To see them in their work clothes, to pick the exotic Mexican fruit from the trees while they show me around yet another shack (with a low roof, which means I could never stand upright inside), to driving to San Quintín for ant poison and cash (the nearest ATM machine is almost 40 miles away), to eating Menudo after church, a Mexican boy band from decades ago, but also a weird intestinal stew with spinal bones inside.  Everyone gets some cow guts and a piece of spine in their bowl, but oh the Pozole is wonderful, and anyway, when in Rome...

To walking to the medico, talking to the girl at the smoothie stand, shopping for pallets and chicken wire at the hardware store where they are surprised to see me, waving at people I actually recognize on the street, replacing tires, introducing Louie The Road Cat to the children, and the list goes on,

But, it's getting late, and I am tired of the dog.  I hate the holidays anyway, and dread spending Christmas sitting in this shack with sketchy water and no heat, eating dead beans out of the pouch, waiting for the power to come back on.  It's possible I will be invited somewhere.  I don't want to bank on it, but it's possible.  The kids just came over to trade Matchbox cars with me; I had a Matchbox car I found at some apartment somewhere down here, left behind by someone, years ago.  I kept it as a memento.  It was a golden low-rider with flames on the side, and it occurred to me to give it to Sergio Jr.  So I tried, about an hour ago, but he didn't seem to want it.  I don't understand most of what they say, so I chalked it up to whatever.

Then, not 5 minutes ago, Sergio Jr. & Co. knocked on my door to trade Matchbox cars with me.  He really thought the lowrider was cool, but wanted to make a fair exchange.  So I got a baby blue 1950's-model something, in exchange for my golden cholo low-rider.

How great is that?

Con Rafael

So, who knows.  Maybe something will come up.  But stray dogs shouldn't be chained to a tree in the alley.  They should be allowed to run free.  Whatever happens, I'll never forget it.

See you on the road,
NP

Note for my friends and family at La Iglesia De Cristo El Rosario,

I left the US at the end of July with no specific destination in mind. God would lead me where He wanted to lead me, was my thinking.  I decided to stay at the hotel next door for more than one night, to give me and Louie a break from the road. I believe it was God's will to keep me here for awhile, so one night turned into a month, and more. But after much deliberation I believe God is calling us out, again. It's time to move on.

The heat has prevented me from attending lately. It's too hot in the little house to leave Louie in there with the door closed, even with the fans on and windows open. But I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your hospitality and friendship. I have not experienced this level of Christian fellowship in over 20 years.

I am not leaving on a whim, or without sadness. I have not arrived at this decision in haste, or without God's direction. I will miss you all dearly. I am happy and blessed to know I have many new friends, brothers, and sisters in El Rosario. Some of you have my number; know that I am only leaving you in the body, but not in spirit. Wherever I am, you have a friend and brother in Christ. Don't hesitate to reach out to me anytime.

In the event I don't see you again in this life, I look forward to seeing you again in Heaven. My heart hurts to leave this blessed community of true believers, but it also rejoices that it was able to find such beauty in such a dark and sinful world. We will meet again, one way or the other. I will be looking forward to it.

God bless you all, and thanks again for everything,
Nathan Payne

9.11.26

Nota para mis amigos y familiares de La Iglesia De Cristo El Rosario:

Salí de los Estados Unidos a finales de julio sin un destino específico en mente. Pensaba que Dios me guiaría a donde Él quisiera llevarme. Decidí alojarme en el hotel de al lado por más de una noche para darnos, a Louie y a mí, un descanso del camino. Creo que fue la voluntad de Dios retenerme aquí un tiempo; así, una noche se convirtió en un mes, y luego en más. Sin embargo, tras mucha reflexión, creo que Dios nos está llamando a seguir adelante. Es hora de continuar el viaje.

El calor me ha impedido asistir últimamente. Hace demasiado calor en la casita como para dejar a Louie allí dentro con la puerta cerrada, incluso con los ventiladores encendidos y las ventanas abiertas. Pero quiero aprovechar esta oportunidad para agradecerles a todos su hospitalidad y amistad. Hacía más de 20 años que no experimentaba este nivel de comunión cristiana.

No me marcho por un capricho ni sin sentir tristeza. No he tomado esta decisión a la ligera ni sin la guía de Dios. Los extrañaré profundamente. Me siento feliz y bendecido al saber que tengo muchos nuevos amigos, hermanos y hermanas en El Rosario. Algunos de ustedes tienen mi número; sepan que solo me alejo físicamente, pero no en espíritu. Dondequiera que esté, tendrán un amigo y hermano en Cristo. No duden en contactarme en cualquier momento.

En caso de que no vuelva a verlos en esta vida, espero verlos nuevamente en el Cielo. Me duele el corazón al dejar esta comunidad bendecida de verdaderos creyentes, pero también se regocija al haber encontrado tanta belleza en un mundo tan oscuro y pecaminoso. Nos volveremos a encontrar, de una forma u otra. Lo esperaré con ilusión.

Que Dios los bendiga a todos y gracias de nuevo por todo,
Nathan Payne

11/09/26

Today's message from Leyver:

Dios te bendiga mi estimado amigo, es un gusto aver podido compartir contigo. Espero de corazon que Dios te bendiga y que tu proposito te lleve a donde tengas que estar. Dios te bendiga estimado amigo.

God bless you, my dear friend; it has been a pleasure to have been able to share this time with you. I truly hope that God blesses you and that your purpose leads you to where you are meant to be. God bless you, dear friend.

🙂