In order to promote a more hardcore, Rock & Roll agenda of fake peace infused with bouts of controlled, profitable violence, and bring the DoucheCon levels back to reasonable levels, punk-rock dissidents within NATO recently hosted karaoke night at the U.N. Delegates from around the world took the stage to offer rousing renditions of such anti-establishment classics as "Kumbaya, F.U.!," by the X-Ray Spoox (which band does not officially exist), "Land of Treason" by The Germs, and "The Magnificent Seven" by The Clash.
During "Land of Treason," everybody ripped the translators out of their ears, stood up on the huge semicircular tables, kicked their flags and placards to the floor, and painted the ceiling red with a rousing, blood-curdling rendition of the first lines, which are:
"Land of treason, waste no reason
We are breathing fire
We're packs of dogs, we're enemies of men
We are not desired"
Land of Treason
Everybody was seething with delight during the lines "we're enemies of men," and "we are not desired." Somebody from the Ukraine table jumped into the middle of the floor wearing PVC and high heels, obviously loaded to the gills on American special-ops-grade cocaine procured from an Albanian shell company operating out of Peru and maybe Haiti too why not, and proceeded to twerk in the face of the Russians, who sat there grinding their teeth, smoldering with rage. It was tuneless and horrific.
During "The Magnificent Seven," the French Minister of Insurrection Suppression, possessed by a strange form of demonic hate-bliss, lost control of his senses, removed his shoes, and proceeded to bludgeon his own personal assistant with his $500 Italian loafers while screaming the lines, "What do we have for entertainment? Cops kickin' gypsies on the pavement!" His disdain for the little people was obvious. Many leaders applauded the heartless display of self-important power, as the French minister's personal assistant lost consciousness. Several Scandinavian leaders were observed taking notes, presumably for future reference, as the unconscious, expendable serf was hauled off by a paramedic.
The highlight of the event though, by far, was when some English guys dialed up "Anarchy in the UK" by the Sex Pistols, during which the entire room joined in for the duration of the song. Particularly deafening were the lines, "I am an antichrist," and "I want to destroy," sentiments which are universally celebrated and shared by all the delegates without exception.
At the end of the event, Greta Thunberg took the stage and performed one of my songs. Conspiracy theories online seem to suggest she was invited by the Grand Poobah of The Fraternal Order of Punk-Rock Nations, mostly just to piss everybody off. Whatever the case, all the delegates were surprised, because they thought they'd destroyed the capacity of the little people to listen to anything but thought-resistant thugs performing monosyllabic children's strip-club music centered on materialistic gain and base, simianesque sexual themes. Everybody was like, "what?" Nevertheless, in an act of scripted, would-be independence, Greta took the stand, and proceeded to sing "Badass," from my 2012 album Garage d'Or.
Did she choose the song because she considers herself a legitimate badass? Or did she choose the loud, raucous indictment of the now-ubiquitous, culturally-enabled condition of compliant poserhood because she subconsciously is aware that she's a blunt tool in the hands of the power-mad petty deities sitting in a now-trashed ring of discarded flags and shoes and placards and Ukrainian PVC before her, and is therefore projecting a desire to break free of the pre-ordained role she plays as a would-be mouthpiece for an inhuman agenda of total global control?
Mainstream media believes it is the former, but I have my doubts.
What do you think?
